Finding my sisterhood and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. 

Since moving to Devon 16 years ago I have made lots of amazing friends. People I trust and can rely on, friends I can discuss anything with, who I can ask for help and support in return. Friends whose interactions are entwined in my everyday life and friends that I see less often. In addition to that I have my 'old' friends that I went to school with, who know my family and were an integral part of my childhood and my teenage years. I laugh with, cry with and get through the daily drudgery with these women, I am truly blessed.

So do I really need more? I'm starting to think 'Maybe!'. None of my friends are pursuing creative outlets as the main component of their lives or identity. They are contributing in so many diverse ways; I know teachers, mothers, police officers, NHS staff, business owners, carers and more. However, I do not know any fellow writers (though I do belong to some fabulous Facebook groups). I started writing nearly 2 years ago now and it has become something very important to me for so many different reasons. I am still a mother, a teacher, a friend, a wife, a daughter and a sister but sometimes (just sometimes) I am trying to identify myself as a writer (gulp, that's even hard to write!). So when a Mother's Who Make event appeared in my Facebook news feed recently I was intrigued. When the event information said it was for all mothers and makers including writers I dared to think it was for me!

So a month ago I decided to attend the first meeting. It was the half-term holiday so my children came along with me. We stayed for the start but then left part way through; we had plans to shop and eat lunch out so that was in the forefront of my children's minds! I said goodbye and missed the rest of the meeting, with the intention of attending next time.

The day of the next meeting came round and on waking the event quickly popped into the front of my mind. I was excited but scared, I wouldn't have my children to hide behind this time! I could think of numerous reasons not to go: it's sunny I should be outside appreciating the weather instead of inside in a stuffy room (the room wasn't stuffy by the way!), I'm tired; Is it worth the money? (train fare plus donation for the running of the group; it was worth this!); Can I bear to come home later to such a messy house? I tried not to listen very carefully to these thoughts and forced myself there.

I'm glad I did. I met a range of different makers all pulled together by their joint desire to create and their association with motherhood. I'm currently reading Moon Circle in which Lucy AitkenRead writes about the power of women sitting in sacred circles she says it doesn't really matter what you say, it's the shared experience that's important. She writes "Why circle in together? We sit to be heard. To speak without being judged. To share our stories without having to make an articulate point". The meeting had some similarities with the idea of moon circles and I held Lucy's words in my mind as we sat in a circle and it was my turn to introduce myself. I quickly said I write a blog, but have also written a magazine article and was relieved to stop talking and give the woman to my left chance to speak. I tried not to beat myself up for not sounding more clever or promoting myself more. I was in a room full of mothers but failed to mention I write about parenthood!!

After the introductions were complete we split into groups of three and spent 10 minutes each talking (scary!!). Again I tried to remember this is about supporting, not a polished presentation! Wow, what amazing women I got chance to speak to. One was a singer/songwriter the other a dancer. We had many common problems and dreams. We listened but we didn't necessarily have answers. It wasn't at all scary.

We ended the meeting by passing around a talking object and reflecting on what had been said. Everyone gained different things, all equally valuable. I felt inspired, wowed and supported by women I hadn't previously met. There's something pretty incredible about this experience that I'm struggling to find words to describe. "Call yourself a writer!?" comes to the front of my mind and I try to push it gently away and instead think I am a writer!

So have I found my sisterhood? In a way I already had one to support me, my children and my family but this event provided a sisterhood based on a shared experience of creating and mothering which is something new and exciting for me. In one short morning it felt like I belonged that I was part of a very special community.

Would you be interested in meetings like this?
Mothers Who Make is an national organisation, they have a Facebook group and run events like this in various venues throughout the country.

The E xeter Mothers Who Make Hub meets on the last Thursday morning of each month at Exeter Phoenix.

I'm passionate about writing and would like to carve out more time to write blog posts, if you have liked what you have read and would be interested in shouting me a coffee or get more involved in shaping my work you might want to consider becoming a Rhubarb and Runner Beans Patron.