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Now I Know it's Spring

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 11:35:20 GMT

The simple joys that are actually sheer magic

The sun warms my skin as I sit, parasol partly shading me, sipping lemon and mint tea. The season turned as I plucked that first mint leaf from its terracotta, garden pot. Hidden away during the winter, gathering strength, the plant lay dormant under the soil, waiting. Sun and showers prompted it’s growth and now it is lush and green, waiting. Waiting for me to enjoy as tea or soon with freshly pulled new potatoes is my human view of this plant. But the mint wants to flower, be pollinated and reproduce and in this wanting is reliant on me to carefully manage how much I take.

Everything is responding to this change in season. The birdsong is strong. Plucky wrens belt out their tune, competing with robin, goldfinch and chiff chaff. We’re here and ready to be heard, to be seen, to be noticed once again.

Little dots of yellow have appeared across the lawn, lesser celandine. Self-set and self-spreading. A welcome pop of colour for the eyes and pollen for the bees. Cuckoo flowers push up through the grass, standing tall and proud. I watch with sheer joy as an orange tip butterfly flits from flower to flower.

A few days pass and once the morning mist has lifted, I take my steaming mug of tea outside and sit next to the abundant blossoms of our apple tree. Each flower so beautiful in its own right but together a sight that takes my breath away. The bees buzz and I dream of apples yet to come and the sheer magic of this transformation.

This garden is teeming with life. This is because it is not my design, I’ve co-created it with nature. Plants are not generally bought but instead they just appear, brought by the wind, birds or as seeds hooked to my jumper. It’s not just my garden, it’s our garden. The wild ones and I co-exist in as much harmony and symbiosis as possible.

Perfect, it’s not. Messy might be the general view. But in a world where gardens are often rooms: an extension of the home, mowed and weeded and designed wholly or mostly for the human inhabitants, where lawnmowers chomp the daisies, the spines are strimmed from sleeping hedgehogs, front gardens are parking places and unwanted wild plants are referred to as weeds and pulled and poisoned out of existence; my garden (or should I say our garden? For I share it with many) is a slice of a truly wild spring in amongst the manicured suburban landscape. For some people, spring might be a bluebell wood or magnolia blossom in the garden of a stately home; as much as I appreciate those things my slice of suburbia is where spring comes alive in all it’s wildness.

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A Consciously Slow Start to the Year

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 11:54:50 GMT

Snow, Wind, Rain, the Northern Lights, Some Comforting Food and Time To Create

It’s been a consciously slow start to 2026 for me here. January is still the middle of winter and only the start of the year on the calendar. The rest of the natural world does not spring into action on 1st January, it literally waits for spring. As natural beings, I find living with the seasons to be nourishing for my soul and essential for my nervous system. I only came across the trait ‘highly sensitive’ in the past few years and I definitely recognise this in myself. I’ve recently read ‘Highly Sensitive People in a Insensitive World’ by Ilse Sand. It was good to see many advantages of being highly sensitive described in the book as well as some practical ideas for navigating the world. I’ve realised that keeping my nervous system soothed is my number one priority. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been making decisions based on what is best for my nervous system. Of course, this isn’t always possible, there will be things that really do have to happen regardless, but in decisions where there is truly more than one option, I’ve been choosing the most soothing one. I’m interested to see how these conscious choices might add up over the coming year.

As we brave ourself for another wild and rainy day, I thought I’d sit down with a steaming mug of (plastic-free) tea and reflect, a little, on the year so far.

January started cold and frosty, even here by the sea where it’s rare. We had a sprinkling of snow one day and frost on the beach another. I love this kind of weather: crisp and cold with sparkling white where the sun hits the frost or snow.

We even got treated to the Northern Lights, a week ago. Something that I never expected to witness in the south of England. This is what we could see through a phone camera, no filters used.

As always, I’m continuing my mission to reduce waste in 2026. This has included trying a couple of different food ideas. Firstly, mincemeat porridge. We had a little bit left from making mince pies so I’ve been adding some to my morning porridge along with some seeds and oat milk. A taste of Christmas on a chilly January morning!

Yesterday, whilst the rain was pouring down outside, I made easy, no bake carrot and oat bars. Cereal bars are great for packed lunches but are packaged in single-use plastic and many are ultra processed whereas these were made with real ingredients and no plastic.

Taste tested by me and my teens, so far it’s 100% thumbs up. ��

I used the recipe for carrot and oat bars from the Riverford website .

Here are the ingredients I used:

We had a big supermarket delivery last week, so this week we are just topping up with shopping when we’re out and about. I regularly drop one of my daughters at the train station and there is an M&S food store right next to the station. Now, if you’ve ever been to M&S you’ll know there is lots and lots of single-use plastic packaging but it is possible to buy some items without plastic. I bought loose fruit and vegetables as well as red lentils, cous cous and stuffing mix in paper packaging.

I’ve been mulling over whether to write a second edition of my book ‘52 Tips To Reduce Waste’ for a few years now, often thinking I’ll start this at the beginning of the year but later realising (when it hasn’t happened) that January is not the right time to start new projects. If I do begin this second edition, spring will be the time. However, strangely enough, probably because I’ve started the year slowly and intentionally making decisions based on keeping my nervous system soothed, I’ve actually designed some of my own products. It’s been fun and without pressure and I’ve even just launched them into the world! There is my ‘Reduce, Reuse, Recycle’ tote bag made from 100% organic cotton in a factory powered by renewable energy. It is designed to be sent back and remilled once it’s finally worn out, so it creates a circular economy. I’m designing products that are sustainable, so that people have this option when they need to buy something new. I’d still encourage everyone to refuse to buy new items they don’t need, reduce the amount they do buy, reuse what they have, repair what they can before they even think of buying a brand new item. My tote bag completes the circle of ‘ Rs ’ because, unlike many bags, it can be recycled . There is a QR code in the label so that it can be sent back and remanufactured when it is worn out.

Wishing you a safe rest of January - be careful if you’re in the UK today and have a weather warning in place, like us. Maybe spend some time at home, if you can, and make some plastic-free snacks. Let me know if you try the carrot and oat bars or if you have any recipe recommendations.

Eco-Friendly Valentine's Day

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 16:21:54 GMT

Showing someone you love them shouldn’t cost the Earth! If you want to give traditional cards and gifts, how about considering some of these more sustainable ideas?

1. Valentine’s Card
Probably the easiest tip is to make sure the card you buy does not come packaged in plastic film. Shop around if you need to but think about the packaging as well as the sentiment when choosing your card. I have the perfect option to show love both to your special person and our precious planet with my new 'Love Me, Love Our Planet' card . Shipped in sustainable, eco-friendly paper packaging which is rip-proof and splash-proof and designed with the environment in mind.

Alternatively, of course, you could make your own card. This is a great option for ensuring the card is more personal and especially good for the environment if you use materials you already have at home.

2. Chocolate
A classic Valentine’s gift. How about looking out for Fairtrade chocolate and again be mindful of packaging. One option is bars of ethical chocolate wrapped in paper and foil. I really like Tony's Chocolonely . If you're looking for boxes of chocolate or Valentine themed gifts, I'd recommend Chococo . All their packaging is plastic-free, they have a great plant-based range and if you have a shop near to you, empty selection boxes can be brought back for refilling (you also get a 10% discount).

3. Flowers
Another classic gift. You don’t need me to tell you that, here in the UK, there aren’t many flowers growing at this time of year! The majority of shop-bought flowers have been imported. Daffodils are in season. Maybe not the most classically romantic, but still beautiful. Try and find some not wrapped in film it’s worth having a look around as shops do vary. I found some simply bunched with an elastic band (which I can, at least, reuse) in my local greengrocers. To make them a more appealing present you could wrap them in paper, maybe you already have some pretty paper in your house. You could use children’s art work, a couple of pages from a magazine or re-use some gift wrap.

4. Make a gift

The possibilities are endless! I'm thinking perhaps I might make some heart-shaped cookies this year (I already have the cookie cutters so should be able to make them with my kitchen cupboard ingredients). Now, if you know me, you will know baking is not my strongest skill! However, my children are very enthusiastic bakers so, by helping them, I have picked up a few tips. I have a very simple biscuit recipe that the children have used and is delicious so maybe it's time to dust off my apron! Cookies might not be a traditional option but my kids are quite into the idea of Valentine's Day so they could also receive one of these as a gift.

5. A Unique Valentine’s gift

Of course, you don’t have to stick to traditional presents or traditional people! A Galentine’s gift is a great way to honour a friendship. However, I’d definitely recommend something useful and sustainable. So, how about my ‘Love Me, Love Our Planet’ tote bag? The same great design on my Valentine’s card is now available in a lightweight, reusable tote bag made from 100% organic cotton in an ethically accredited, wind-powered factory. Designed to be remade: Features a QR code on the care label to send it back when it is eventually worn out. Ready to ship in plant-based packaging. Ideal for you or as a gift for her, a gift for him, a Valentine's gift, a Galentine's gift or for a loved one at anytime of the year!

Christmas Countdown without the Consumerism

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 10:38:34 GMT

Reusing decorations, enjoying the season and creating less waste.

We’ve has our Christmas tree up for more than two weeks now! If it was just up to me, I’d probably put the tree up a couple of weeks before Christmas, that’s if I had a tree at all. However, a family discussion resulted in us heading to our local garden centre to get the Christmas tree in time for the start of December. All of the decorations came out of the loft (not the shops) with me boring the kids with stories behind many of them. The oldest belonged to my great grandma and some are from my own childhood. There’s something special about unpacking the box of Christmas decorations and unlocking some of those memories.

Do you have decorations from years ago? ��Reusing decorations, enjoying the season and creating less waste.

We’ve had mixed weather over the last few weeks, some days torrents of rain, others calm and sunny. When it’s raining outside and very little is growing in the garden; it feels like a treat to drink a mug of home grown chocolate mint tea. I never get round to drying much mint before it dies off in the autumn. So, what I do have I really appreciate. A taste of summer on a rainy, winter’s day.

The garden mint might look dead but it’s only got rid of the leaves that do not serve it during the colder months and is resting in a dormant state. It’s energy is stored in it’s roots which allows it to survive the cold and regrow in the spring. Inspiration and a lesson for us during winter. I’ve been busy during this countdown to Christmas but this’ll end soon and I’ll be resting, lying dormant, keeping my energy rooted as we should be doing during the winter. Despite what our dominant culture tells us, we are part of nature and living the seasons is what our body and mind needs. So, cosy by the fire my friends, draw the curtains and rest.

On the sunny days, I’ve been out and about enjoying my local area. There’s nothing better than the beach when it’s sunny and still (though I love it when it is wild as well). One day recently, the sea was so calm that as seagulls landed at the water’s edge gentle ripples of water circled them yet the sound was of waves crashing in as they broke at the sandbar making it feel magical and unreal.

Despite seeing this view countless times, its beauty literally took my breath away! The photo, really doesn’t do it justice - you need to visit Exmouth beach for yourself!

If you live here, what’s your favourite thing about the beach? If you’ve never been to this part of the world, I highly recommend it and definitely get here by train; the views are amazing as it hugs the river making it feel more like a boat trip!

Before the rain ☔ really came down heavy the other day, we took a short trip to the nearby town of Topsham. We walked past quaint cottages out towards country lanes before hugging the river on, what is known locally, as the goat �� walk, then headed into town and past a multitude of independent shops; it really is such a lovely, little place.

Other than window shopping and picking up a free preloved book we enjoyed a pot of tea and cake in a local café. Relaxing, inexpensive and non-consumeristic. It’s become a bit of a Christmas time tradition.

What about you, do you have any favourite Christmas time walks or café recommendations?

Finally, I’ll end with a couple of ways to reduce waste this Christmas. Do share your tips for a planet-friendly Christmas in the comments.

This year, I’ve used a cover of an old school exercise book and bits of ribbon and string to make some Christmas gift tags. I wouldn’t actually recommend painting �� gift tags, like I have. The paint contaminates the fibres making it not generally recyclable. I needed to practice painting for some work I’ve been doing so I thought it’d be better to make something that can be used rather than just thrown away. However, unpainted homemade gift tags can be recycled. The ribbon and string taken off (they could be kept to reuse) and the card put in the recycling.

Do you have anything at home that could be repurposed into gift tags?

Plastic-free chocolate is actually a little bit easier to find now we’re in the festive season. Look for foil-wrapped Santa’s or bars of chocolate packaged in cardboard and foil. Alternatively, how about seeking out an independent chocolatier such as Chococo Chocolates they sell beautiful, ethical chocolates all in 100% plastic-free packaging.

Do you have any plastic-free chocolate recommendations? ��

If you want more ideas for reducing waste (including five festive tips) you might want to read my book ‘52 Tips To Reduce Waste.’ Priced at just £3 for a 120 page pdf. It’ll reduce your waste, lowered your carbon emissions and save you money.

As the Wheel Turns

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 15:38:18 GMT

Autumn and the Beauty of Letting Go

As I opened the blind the other morning, I was struck by the sheer beauty of autumn in all it's colourful glory. We are so lucky to have so many trees near to where we live, lucky but it should be the norm. These lands were once predominantly covered in forests and just one species, humans, have changed this for all. It doesn't have to be this way though. Humans have taken the forests away but they can put them back! I have a vision where our streets are not dominated by cars that there is space for people and trees as well.

Being able to see so many trees from my house and garden really helps with my wellbeing and mental health, as is proven for humans generally, we weren't supposed to live away from nature. Of course, the trees also provide vital habitat as well as taking in carbon dioxide and giving us oxygen. I'm trying to slow down, pause and notice the natural world, giving myself permission to just look rather than always rush into the next task. Experiencing awe and wonder in the nature around us can bring calmness and even hope. I talk about this in a recent interview for Welcome to Thrutopia .

How about you? What can you see from your window?

As October came to an end, it was, of course, time for what has become a tradition round here now: Halloween. In a generation, Halloween has gone from barely celebrated to loved by most children I know! Along with that has come the waste. Plastic-wrapped sweets, decorations people only use once and pumpkins sent to landfill. However, it doesn't have to be wasteful! One thing I did this year was to set up some eco-friendly trick or treating in the book swap for our street with pre-loved children's books and toys and some locally grown apples - for healthy eating or apple bobbing!

I left it to look after itself on Halloween night and headed to a beautiful women's circle. This included meditations, breath work, journaling and sharing what we want to let go of and invite in as the season turns as well as the opportunity to honour ancestors. This feels so authentic to me. So different to our modern, mainstream culture. To honour the dark and to use this as a way to let go of what is not serving me and invite in seeds of intention to look after during the winter months is exactly what feels right at this time of year.

I want to let go of the shoulda, woulda, coulda - you know that feeling that you should be doing something else or you should be more? So ingrained it isn't an easy task but I want to invite in fun, fulfilmentand presence. I feel so relaxed and present since attending the circle and have been practising presence in everyday tasks ever since. This is so much better than trick or treating!!

What do you want to let go of and invite in as the wheel of the year turns?

Thank you for reading.

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Vitamin Sea and Autumn Cosiness

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 10:08:22 GMT

Reciprocity between me and the sea and some warming autumn drinks.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a talk by Helen Scales who has written the book 'What the Wild Sea Can Be.' A knowledgeable marine biologist and engaging speaker, this talk was packed with information on marine species from emperor penguins to krill and kelp.

Although she included some hope, it still very much fed into my eco-anxiety. Is there reason to be hopeful? That's why she wrote the book. However, with three major issues facing oceans: pollution, over-fishing and climate change, it is, of course a very worrying time.

I was planning to ask what she felt was the most important thing individuals could do for the seas but this was, thankfully, part of the discussion. Helen's first response was to enjoy and be curious about the ocean. This, I think, is crucial. Connection is key. She then said to pick one thing, try not to do it all. Which was a relief to hear on one hand but worrying on the other. Does this create complacency? There is so much to do, it feels like we need to do it all! However, that way of looking at it can really cause overwhelm!

When you've picked the one area you are going to focus on then also talk about it, share with family and friends and be seen doing it. So, with that in mind: What's the one thing you are doing for our seas?

Not far from where the talk took place is the stunning Otter estuary. I headed there last week after I'd heard of osprey sightings.

What I saw were swans and egrets, oyster catchers and cormorants. Butterflies flew past and bees buzzed, alongside a constant sound of bird life, but no ospreys. It was still a breath taking walk.

Getting bogged down with household drudgery, illnesses, exhaustion and overwhelm recently, I'm so glad I left it all behind for an hour and, instead, immersed myself in this beauty.

The problem is, it's all still there waiting once I return home. Though I'm grateful for the respite.

How's it going with you? Have you been able to find time to get a bit of nature nourishment recently?

On Wednesday, it was International Coffee Day. 7 million single-use coffee cups are used per day in the UK or you could do what I do, choose to reuse.

This cup has been going strong for over 10 years and, I estimate, has been used for takeaway coffee around 520 times!

What's your favourite coffee?

It feels like autumn has finally got it's grip, here in East Devon, and summer has slipped away. On Friday, we walked by the river and returned in the rain to sit in a dimly lit lounge listening to the patter of rain drops on the window. There's something very cosy about returning from an autumn walk, with golden leaves underfoot, to a steaming mug of tea and something sweet to eat with it. My being seems to have adjusted to the seasonal change when just a week, or so, ago it was resisting.

Each season is so beautiful in it's own right.

What do you like about autumn?

Thank you for reading.

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Slow September Activities

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 11:01:15 GMT

Counterbalancing the hectic start of term with some spaciousness

The seasons are starting to shift here with September bringing a distinctly autumn vibe along with a little bit of late summer sunshine. The shift in seasons has also shifted the activities with long afternoons stretched out in the garden made impossible by the torrential downpours and the return to school and college. I've purposely left lots of spaciousness during this new beginning, remembering how tiring this transition can be as we start to create new rhythms amongst the sudden return of early mornings, homework and packed lunches. I'm so glad I had the sense to create this spaciousness, just one full week left me shattered! However, with not much to do, I could soak up the sunny spells between a bit of TV bingeing and chocolate eating whilst the house was peaceful! A privilege I'm lucky to have.

At the beginning of last week, a bit of spare time allowed me to use up a glut of blackberries and windfall apples. It became a bit of a project for the week, good to do when the rain was pouring down!

Starting on Monday, I cooked up the apples and blackberries in a little water until they were soft. Once cooled, they sat in the fridge until I had more time. Then I blended the fruit and put it all through a sieve to remove the blackberry pips.

The puree was then thinly spread onto lightly greased baking parchment lining some baking trays. This was then put into a cool oven for 6 hours to dehydrate!

I then actually turned the oven off and left it all over night having run out of time that day. On Wednesday, I cut the dried fruit into strips with scissors, rolled them up and hey presto in the space of 3 days I had turned two big pans of fruit into one small container of fruit rolls/fruit leather, very much like the Bear Yoyos you can buy in the shops!

Unlike shop bought, however, they were made without any single-use plastic using free ingredients from our garden. They are also yum! I don't think they'll last long!

Here's the recipe if you want to give it a try: https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/fruit_leather_74878 I used eating apples, instead of cooking apples, because that's what I had. I peeled and cored them and then blended after cooking so they were more of a pulp. Let me know if you give it a try.

As the temperature have dipped at night, I've started to bring some plants inside to give them a bit of protection from the cold. So far, I've brought in a tomato plant that self-set late in the season so it won't have time for the fruit to ripen outside plus a tulsi plant. I grew tulsi for the first time this year. I'd never heard of it but got it as part of a seed collection. It makes a nice, almost fruity tea (which I'm drinking right now), simply one small leaf in a mug of boiling water. The plant might overwinter okay inside but I've taken some seeds as well.

I've also been collecting tomato and lettuce seeds in preparation for next year's growing season.

How's your September going? Have you been growing, harvesting or preserving anything?

Thank you for reading.

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Community Hub tackling Climate Change

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 14:03:43 GMT

2nd May 2027

There's this new place, sprung up near to where I live. I say place because I'm not, yet, sure how to describe it. So, I'll try by telling you about a recent visit. It hasn't been without its controversy as many Exmouth residents were adamant that in this difficult, cost of living crisis the only viable option was the proposal by Aldi to build a store there. Conversations got very heated. I think people just couldn't imagine anything different and as there weren't many examples, certainly nothing local, it was hard for people to see that food could come to them in a different way and still be affordable.

Anyway, I digress, the place I want to tell you about is Goodmore's Farm Community Hub. As you can see, it actually has a name but during the proposal and planning stage this name proved problematic as, like I said, there wasn't a clear picture or model in people's mind of what a community hub is or might be. Many just thought, quite rightly, of their financial situation and felt a low cost supermarket was the only answer.

Yesterday morning, I grabbed my reusable bags and headed out the door. Walking to the main road, I noticed how busy it is since the road has been extended - essentially creating a by-pass for the town, running behind my house and past many other residential houses. My heart sunk, it feels like such the wrong decision to have built this road when we so desperately need to convert to sustainable ways of travelling. I tried to focus on the positive as I waited at one of the newly installed road crossings, there used to be none it’s now difficult to cross without them. I wander to the junction and turn into the community hub. What immediately strikes me is the lack of cars, in sharp contrast to the road behind me. Instead there are rows of bike racks and a few people, like me, walking around. The building has been beautifully designed to blend into the landscape. Previously a field, which has been developed with housing to one side in a conventional manner, it really is a triumph that local people lobbied and fund-raised for this area to be fundamentally different. I take a moment to look around outside. Next to the building is the beginnings of what will become a community food forest. The trees, that were planted in the winter, have come on well with green leaves poking out above the tree guards. It’ll be a few years until it becomes productive but then I will be able to come along and pick apples, plums, pears or cherries depending what is in season, as anyone will - all for free. Such an amazing resource which responds directly to both the climate and the cost of living crisis. It will provide healthy food and lock in carbon. The plan is to allow wild plants to grow between the trees enhancing local biodiversity. It’s going to be so good to watch this develop and, of course, eat the first fruits when they are available.

Back to the purpose of my visit, I’m actually here to do my food shop so I head inside the building and take a look around. There is a waft of freshly baked bread as I enter. My stomach starts to gurgle and I head straight to the bakery. Local business Shaldon bakery have successfully been opening shop after shop in the South West. Starting, as the name suggest, in Shaldon and spreading to Teignmouth, Newton Abbot, Budleigh Salterton, Exmouth town centre and now this site on the edge of town. All their bread is made on site and it’s hard to choose what to buy. I settle on a sun-dried tomato focaccia for lunch today and a white loaf that will be good for packed lunches. I take out my two reusable cloth bread bags and the shop assistant pops them straight in. I pay and head to pick up my vegetable box.

I’ve been buying from Riverford for several years now and I’ve opted for the cheaper option of picking up my weekly box from this hub rather than getting it delivered as I used to previously. I usually opt for the 100% UK box in which lots of the produce has been grown on nearby Devon farms. I unpack the box straight into my reusable shopping bags and hand the box straight back to be reused.

My meals this week will be based around the vegetables in this box and I start wondering what I might create with asparagus, potatoes, shitake mushrooms and spinach. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can this type of produce be available for those who need an Aldi store because of it’s cheap food? And you’d be right these products aren’t particularly cheap. The bread is a lot more than Aldi and the vegetables, although good value bought as a veg box, really don’t compare to the Aldi deals on fruit and veg. Of course, it’s not really comparable: beautiful bread, made and baked how bread should be rather than produced in a factory and organic vegetables compared to plastic wrapped, pesticide sprayed produce which is available in Aldi. People can still buy this in the Lidl store that is well established at the other end of this very street. However, how are people going to be able to afford this lovely produce in the community hub? I think the answer is that so much of the other products available are actually free! Obviously, there will be the food forest once it has had time to grow. There is also all the ‘share stalls’ which are dotted around the building. There are free books, clothes, seeds, plants and a community fridge. All the items are donated by people who don’t want them. This might be a book they’ve read, an item of clothing their children have grown out of, seeds collected from their garden or plants they don’t need. I spend ages looking, wishing I’d picked up my vegetables last as those potatoes start to weigh down on my shoulders! I pick up a couple of novels (one for me and one for my 18 year old daughter), a new to me jacket, some beetroot and sweetcorn seeds and a tray of lettuce – all for free! Now I wish I’d bought some kind of shoppers trolley with me (maybe next time) and decide to head to the community café to get some nourishment before I head off.

Overlooking the newly planted food forest this café is so inviting. There are tables if you want to sit alone and others labelled ‘chatty tables’ where people can sit with others - people they probably don’t know - and have a conversation. To be honest, I’m not in a very talkative mood so I opt for a small table by the window and sip my tea with oat milk and my plant-based cookie. So cheap, a fraction of what you would normally spend as there is no need for this café to make a profit, they just need to cover costs. It’s run by volunteers and I already start wondering if I might be able to offer a few hours when my youngest fledges the nest for university in September. While I’m soaking up the atmosphere, it feels so restorative for people to be able to come here and socialise if they want, I notice a poster for a bus service and remember there is a bus that serves the area, replacing the need for everyone to drive their car here and meaning what would have been a carpark is actually the site of the food forest. I might hop on the bus home, if all of the things I’ve got prove to be too heavy! There are also posters advertising the library of things which I haven’t yet looked at. It’s exactly what it says, a library of things rather than books. Again, it's free, run by volunteers and with donated items. There literally is everything except the kitchen sink from DIY tools to camping equipment and even a chocolate fondue! Definitely somewhere I’m going to use in the future. It will eventually save me money as so many of the items in my house, such as drills and my paper shredder, will not need replacing once they no longer work. I’ll just borrow them instead.

I also notice there is a repair area open at the weekends, where you can bring along electrical items, clothes etc which need repairing. There is also a workshop next week in which you can learn some basic repairs. Again, all for free run by volunteers, some of whom are probably retired people but I know the idea of this hub is to cut people’s expenses so much that as a community we don’t have to work in an employed role as much and can instead have time to volunteer our skills alongside our paid work. It’s an ambitious vision but one I love! We are currently so locked into the capitalist system, with people having to work so hard for the things they need to buy. Could this actually be the answer to the wage-slave lifestyle? As a population, we are consuming so much stuff that we are having to work so hard for and it's directly impacting on the planet, making it less habitable for humans and so many of the other species we share it with. I guess time will tell, but I am feeling hopeful!

Before I leave, I visit the main food shop area. It’s a food cooperative which looks like a regular retail store (though nicer) and with a distinct lack of plastic! Members of the public have the option of purchasing a membership (on a sliding scale) that will yield discounted prices on food, as well as a vote on decisions. This sounds like my cup of tea! I take a look around and am really impressed with the range of products and the prices. Again, this is run entirely by volunteers, not to make a profit but to provide healthy food to my community at an affordable price. The co-op buys a lot of it in huge 25kg bulk paper bags which are then displayed in large jars and customers just buy what they need. Customers are encouraged to bring their own bags or containers but, as I forgot today, I buy some rice and pasta in the paper bags available. These cost a few pence, so note to self to bring my own next time to save on money and planetary resources. I will just keep some jam jars once they are empty, wash them out and bring them.

So, laden down I head back to the main road and decide the bus is the best option to get home. There is one every 10 minutes and I stand next to a few other people waiting for the next one. Suddenly I feel chatty, after all the inspiring things I’ve seen. It feels like a very different way to shop and, even, live. I chat to some of my fellow bus passengers and before I know it the bus is here! For a nominal fare (due to funding from the new government bus tax which is beginning to replace car tax) I get dropped near my door with a big smile on my face, a satisfied belly and a feeling of excitement to return to the community hub again soon – never have I felt like this when I’ve visited a supermarket!

Systems need to change, it can’t come quickly enough and the Goodmore's Farm Community Hub is a sustainable, affordable and enjoyable way to provide food for the community. Maybe one might spring up near to where you live soon. It’s time to stop accepting the same old, business as usual approaches. So, maybe when you get a flyer through the door for yet another supermarket you might do what the people of Exmouth did and demand something different.

The photo is actually of the amazing Gloucester Services . Unfortunately, I couldn't photograph Goodmore's Farm Community Hub as it only exists in my imagination. This piece of writing is a Thrutopian blog post set in the year 2027. It's a vision of how I can see humans getting through the climate and biodiversity crisis. I think this is a better way to live than how we are living now and would help towards keeping the planet habitable and build community at the same time. However, Aldi actually do want to build on this site and have put in an application for planning permission. This would be the complete opposite of my vision for a sustainable future. If you want to comment on the application go to the East Devon District Council's Planning Portal . The consultation expires on Wednesday 30th July 2025.

Thank you so much to the incredible people who support my work on Patreon . Together we can make the world a better place.

Beavers Return

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 15:31:52 GMT

Is it true what they're saying?

I walked 30 minutes from my house because I wanted to know if what I'd heard was true! Are beavers really living so close to me? A species absent from our land for over 400 years, they were first reintroduced on the River Otter a mere 6 miles away and have, in fact, got very close to where I live with clear beaver activity at Devon Wildlife Trust’s Bystock Pools. Visiting in the day, I had no expectation of seeing one but it was still an awe-inspiring experience seeing trees they have felled. Never did I expect to be so excited to see a fallen tree!

I plan to return again and again to see how the beavers change this landscape and maybe, when I'm not so tired, I'll be able to get up early to go beaver watching and may even be lucky enough to see one, as a neighbour did recently on the River Otter. However, whether I'll be able to walk back to Bystock Pools is another thing! The small country road was busier than I've ever experienced it before. With car after car going past, no pavement and only tall hedges, in some places, to try and tuck out of the way. I get it, I sometimes drive our van down the very same road but it is such lunacy that we have allowed vehicles to have more space on our roads than people (and wildlife). It really makes it hard to leave the car behind, sometimes, and head out on foot, as I try to do as much as possible.

However, focusing back on the good news, I never expected beavers to return to the UK, I should think as a child I didn't even know they were a native species. With so much destruction of nature all around it is so inspiring to witness the return of this keystone species. If we can do this, as well as reintroduce pine martins to Devon and species such as the red kite and white stork in other parts of the country, what else can we do?

Walking Through Treacle

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 00:00:00 GMT

My shoulders ache; my body is tired. The smallest of tasks feel mammoth. My body craves rest but my mind has different ideas. It wants me to think, work out what to do, problem-solve and worry. I fight to quieten it but the truth is I haven't enough energy. I haven't even enough energy to put on a load of washing in the machine but my kids need clean school shirts. I haven't enough energy to make packed lunches but my kids need to eat. I check what homework they have got, lay the table for dinner, load the dishwasher, make sure the guinea-pigs are fed. My husband, thankfully, makes dinner otherwise I don't know how we would eat. The entire day is like walking through treacle. I cry in sheer exhaustion. The bare minimum is too much. Then I repeat this day after day, year after year. This is surviving, getting through each moment, each day, each year until many have passed and I can no longer remember how living truly feels.

How it felt to have cancer-related fatigue and cancer-related PTSD.

Thankfully, I don't have many days like this any more, though I can have a run of them during times of stress, when menstruating and after socialising (I'm still not used to it and find it very tiring). The cancer-related fatigue has gone but my energy levels are still a lot lower than they were before my cancer diagnosis and I'm impacted by PTSD on an, almost, daily basis. This has lessened and is becoming more manageable but is triggered by stress and tiredness. You can see the cycle I can get trapped in here.

I'm sharing this during Breast Cancer Awareness Month to raise awareness of the long-term impacts of being someone who has had cancer. Also, please check your breasts /chest. It's tough living with the impacts, mostly mental and emotional now, of cancer but I'm, of course, very grateful to be here. Early detection of cancer means outcomes are likely to be better. I found my breast cancer by chance whilst washing . Don't leave it to chance, check today and make it a monthly routine.

Thank you to my fabulous members on Patreon who support my work.

Living in a car-free locality

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 11:58:46 GMT

In a world of car-dominating towns and cities, what happens if people, plants and animals are put first?

I park up at the edge of town, lock the car and take in a big breath of pine-scented air. It's good to be back!

My house is a ten minute stroll from this parking area. Walking on a shady path amongst the trees; I pass many other homes on the way. Once there, I'm relieved my husband has kept the fridge stocked. I grab a handful of cherry tomatoes from a bowl on the kitchen worktop and go out onto our patio with some iced water and soak in the forest. Everyone has a little patio area like this. Enough space for a table and chairs, a barbeque and, in our case, those tomato plants in terracotta pots producing the sweet fruit I just enjoyed. Some people, like those with small children, have fenced in their area but we prefer to look straight out into the forest, a communal space for all residents both human and non-human. Sitting here it feels like I'm the only person in the forest but actually there are thousands of people here. Homes have been cleverly built so no one is looking in on anyone else plus there's lots of screening by trees and wild vegetation such as the fronds of fern next to our patio.

I wonder how long before I see a deer? I don't have to wait long as one strolls past majestically while I'm still sitting here. It looks straight at me then takes a few steps, reaches up and eats some low-hanging leaves. Deer are so used to seeing people and know there are few threats here so their fear of humans has all but diminished. Now I know I'm home, where humans can coexist with the rest of the natural world in harmony. My heart expands just a little.

My partner comes home and it's great to see him! We decide to leave the contents of the fridge and walk the ten minutes back to the central area and grab a woodfired pizza instead. We're pretty ravenous and wolf it down! The light is fading once we're home but it's warm enough for a coffee on the patio whilst we watch the squirrels scurry around.

Tomorrow is a day off. We sleep soundly in the dark, peace of the forest and wake to the same quietness. It's hard to believe that we used to hear almost constant traffic noise. Even though we lived in a fairly quiet suburban street, cars went past day and night. Real silence and true darkness were hard to experience. Now, the only traffic we hear, if the wind is blowing in a specific direction, is the bus that travels regularly around in a circuit, taking those who live in a different area, say Maple or Oak area, back home or perhaps for leisure or shopping purposes because cars stay in the carpark and can only be driven to the accommodation for specific purposes such as moving in and moving out.

We have a quick breakfast on the patio. We're lucky to be enjoying this weather right now, it's not always like this in an English forest! The butterflies dancing past in ones or twos seem to agree! Then we unlock our bikes and cycle about ten minutes to the lake where we have hired a couple of kayaks to make the most of this time of year. We float around on the water with ducks for company. Paddle a bit but, to be honest, mostly relax and take it all in. It's hot on the lake, despite us splashing quite a lot of water with our, not very perfected, paddling technique! We're having a rare week of hot weather with temperatures rising to 30C throughout the country. Heading home, we really feel the heat on the small section of cycle-way that isn't in the shade due to the mid-day sun. However, back home, it feels like entering an air-conditioned building, it's not we are just benefiting from the cooling effect of trees.
This place is probably quite different to where you live but, maybe, it could be how we all lived. Would you like that?

I've based my descriptions on a real place and what I saw and did and felt with a little artistic license thrown in! It's not actually a town but a holiday village, Center Parcs. I'm wondering if this could actually be a model for town planning or even possible within our existing settlements? With a bit of imagination, we could live in harmony with nature and with amenities within easy reach by walking, cycling or public transport. We could live in towns or cities not dominated by cars but, instead, safe for deer to wander without worry, children to play, build dens and engage with nature in the forest. A town where the air is fresh, the exhaust fumes a distant memory and the sounds are ones of nature not machine. A city where health is enhanced by walking, wellbeing increase by connection to nature and people sleep soundly in the dark.

A whole city couldn't just have one carpark, as it is at Longleat Center Parcs, but a city could have several and be split into zones/boroughs/suburbs/areas as they are often geographically named right now. Where would these parking areas emerge from I wonder? I'm not entirely sure but they could actually be quite small. We could shift from every household having one or more cars to having a range of vehicles that could be hired when needed. A company could easily set that up (maybe on a site of car showrooms or petrol stations we no longer need) or it could be a shared, community owned, car co-operative. It's not beyond the scope of the imagination, technology or reality. I know this as I sit in Center Parcs Longleat Forest with the rustling of leaves in the trees and a silent prayer for a better way for us all to live.

A Sister Circle for Beltane

Mon, 06 May 2024 19:45:21 GMT

Walking in it's strange to be in a primary school, a once familiar setting now so alien. I turn right, enter the hall and it's a primary school no more. A beautiful alter creates a a focal point in the centre of the room, the space is ready for the start of a sister circle for Beltane (also now known as May Day). I'm greeted by Anna, who I met at the Imbolc circle she facilitated, and asked if I want to be smudged to which I answer yes. I have somewhere along this journey towards an authentic life become able to embrace what I would have found uncomfortable before.

I unpack my bag. Firstly, taking out and unrolling my yoga mat (my daughter's yoga mat as yoga is not something I do), place my journal and pen next to me and sit crossed-legged on my mat with my blanket covering my feet. Anna goes around the circle, with the invitation for people to pick a card, I guess it's a set of oracle cards. By mistake I take three instead of one! Embracing Change, The Power of Support and Grace. So apt.

Others settle around me, there's a little bit of chat but already a quiet and relaxing atmosphere. Anna opens the circle. We pass a crystal around, say our name and how we are feeling/why we are here if we want to. I then spend an hour on my own, but with others. Some time for me but held in a space with other people. It's a chance to pause and be in the moment, though I can't stop thinking of the chocolate placed on a plate near me - waiting for the end of the circle to be eaten! The circle is a chance to notice the changing seasons and this mid-way point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. It's an antidote to the predominant culture of busily travelling through life.

There's breathwork and gentle seated stretching. It feels good to slow down and also to move in this way. My body lets go of tension and relaxes. We are given journal questions to respond to. I write in my journal with the light of a flickering candle. We are invited to set intentions from our journaling and write them on the pink ribbons laid beside us. I'm definitely influenced by the cards I picked and in tune with what I need as I write: Accept and embrace change on one card, live from a place of ease on another and move towards joy on a third.

The circle continues with meditation and yoga nidra. I can not exactly recall the order, which shows how relaxed I became. Yoga nidra simply involves lying under a blanket following Anna's voice, being guided to focus on different parts of the body, then to visualise different images. No downward dog here! In fact the whole circle is spent sitting or lying down - bliss!

As the circle ends we eat the chocolate (plant-based, made by Anna and in the shape of a heart) and think of our intentions. What's not to love? The circle closes, I leave the school hall and I'm back in a primary school and back to my 'real' life though fully relaxed and ready for my bed!

The next day, I stand in front of the little hawthorn tree in my garden. I give it an offering of seeds as I promise allegiance to the Earth. One by one I tie my three ribbons onto the tree asking for love and healing and laying down the foundations of my intentions. This traditional act of tying ribbon to hawthorn connects me to the past and opens up a direction for my future.

If you want more information about the sister circles facilitated by Anna you can click here.

You might also like to read: A Modern Day Pilgrimage for Imbolc .

Of course, everything on my blog is free to read, please feel free to browse and I hope you enjoy my posts. If you are able to support me you could consider buying me a coffee or becoming a member on Patreon .

Sand Everywhere!

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 11:14:40 GMT

I'm eating it, crunching it between my teeth.
It's on my coffee cup, it's in my hair and my eyes.
My phone has a sprinkle of it's grittiness and so has my coat!
It's covering the road and is continuing to swirl across from the beach,
Coating my camper van, no doubt!

The beach has been flattened.
It looks smooth and new.
Footprints covered as soon as they are made.
A few brave walkers head into the wind, hoods up and heads bowed,
Walking with determination.

Nature is powerful and strong in all her wildness.

Rewilding Our Gardens

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 14:43:23 GMT

I'm going to share a little about my garden, in case you are interested and so you might be able to support me in rewilding it and making it more nature friendly. The back garden is mostly lawn. We need to keep it that way as half of it is used for the guinea-pig run, rotating it every few days. This half has currently got lots of lesser celandine, which are good for pollinators. The plant mostly dies off by the time its warm enough for the guinea-pigs to be outside. I have to pull up any remaining plants and anything else that is toxic for them to eat. The other half is wilder and left uncut. A greater variety of plants grow including daisies and ragwort. We keep it as lawn so a tent can be put up for the kids. I also like to put a blanket down and sit on it (once it's drier). Around the edges of the lawn is left fairly wild but we also grow strawberries. The strawberry patch was used by hedgehogs last year to forage for invertebrates, I should think because it was unweeded it provided a lot more for them. Though, I may have to weed it a bit this year to allow the strawberry plants to grow.

The front garden was block paved by previous owners. I've got pots growing food and some with flowers. I'd like to increase the amount of food I grow in this area. I use the front garden for this as it has lots of sunshine. I'd also like to increase the plants for pollinators and have bees and butterflies constantly flying from flower to flower.

That's me, how about you? What's your garden like?

Extract from the Changemaker membership which I run from my Patreon page (there's also a private FB group). We are starting our new focus: Rewilding our gardens and incorporating rest as we move into the, often, busier seasons of spring and summer. It's a form of gentle activism within a supportive community and you're invited! Join for 7 days (it's free!), a month, all spring or more. Any questions? Just ask.

A Modern Day Pilgrimage for Imbolc

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 11:11:08 GMT

The robins and the sparrows in the hedgerow and the sky called “Keep going, don’t give up!”. I walked along the cliff tops encouraged by their presence. Below on the shore the flock of sea birds waded one by one into the water. Together but doing their own thing. Onwards I went. The crow cawed, showing me a place to rest. I sat and stared out across the water, an expansive view in front of me. The daisies beside me had pushed themselves out of the cold soil and were in full bloom. Rising is possible, even from the depths of winter.

Onwards I pushed, determined to get there. The wind buffeted constantly pushing or pulling me, like it couldn’t decide which direction I should go. It got into my eyes and made me cry. I kept going until I turned the corner and there in front of me was the beach. I had it all to myself except for a lone dog walker, litter-picking as he walked. I took a moment to be grateful that other people care about the natural world.

I found a rock, sheltered from the wind and sat a while, warming myself in the sun and drinking tea from my flask. I had made it and I was okay. I reached into my pocket and took out two shells, plucked from the beach years before by my children. It was time for them to return to their natural environment. I offered them back to the sea with my intention for the coming year, to live an authentic life and follow my instincts. I stood and watched the incoming tide wash over them.

I left to begin my return journey feeling strangely relieved, lighter and convinced my intentions were ready to go out into the world, but also that I was leaving behind something; the remnants of my old life.

This was a pilgrimage I took last year at Imbolc, inspired by reading the book "Rituals for Life" by Isla Macleod and following my intention-setting blog post I wrote at the start of 2023. I found using the energy of the rising spring was the right time to think about the new year and to let go of some of the things that were no longer serving me.

Snudging My Way Through

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 12:22:35 GMT

Written in June 2023, I share some of my experiences, including the recovery process from a cancer diagnosis I had in October 2020.

I can very gratefully say, that I am now almost three years post hospital treatment for cancer. I’m healthy and I’m okay. I appear from the outside, perhaps, to be totally fine moving through life as before. However, this could not be further from the truth. Barely a day goes by when I don’t think about my cancer experience, often getting consumed by it. The thing that I’ve recently come to realise is that an illness, like this, is actually often initiatory. I have and I am going through a huge transformation, an initiation back into life and it looks like nothing’s happening from the outside. I have also found that there is little acknowledgement, understanding or support for this process. That’s not to say I’ve had no support, what it is to say, though, is that there has been no long term holding of my experience from the wider society. I haven’t been able to communicate this very well thus far, for I only just realised it myself thanks to reading ‘Descent and Rising’ by Carly Mountain. In this book Carly cleverly uses the ancient myth of Inanna alongside modern day real-life stories to show the descent into the underworld often felt by people including those who have illnesses. Up until this point, I simply thought something was wrong with me, that I was failing to recover emotionally.

So, this daily onslaught of emotions manifests for me in many ways. Mostly, it takes a lot of headspace, meaning not a lot left for anything else. It also takes a lot of energy as I try to hold the tension (a phrase I’m so grateful for from ‘Wild Power’ by Alexandra Pope and Sjarnie Hugo Wurlitzer) as I try to hold the enormity of my feelings, feel them, not shy away from them, acknowledge them and behold myself alongside functioning as a human being and as a mother. Emotions of anger, grief, sadness and guilt flow through me on a regular basis. I try to think of them as boats passing me on a river (a technique I learnt by attending a course run by Force Cancer Charity); I know they will go past and I won’t feel like that forever. But the boats can turn round quite quickly and sail back up the river, demanding constant attention.

Thankfully, my cancer-related fatigue stopped around the end of 2021, this level of fatigue is another thing not widely understood in our society. It was debilitating making it almost impossible to look after my children. However, the fatigue was replaced with being tired almost all the time. There’s a difference in that the fatigue never got better with rest but the tiredness can sometimes be eased. Fast forward to June 2023 (when I wrote this blog post), quite a considerable time has passed but I’m tired a lot of the time. I can’t plan much, I wouldn’t feel safe driving for more than about 30 minutes, I have to base my days around the essential tasks and by that I simply mean ensuring we are fed and clothed. In between this I rest.

A hard learnt thing is rest. It also takes up so much energy to deconstruct the capitalist norms I’ve internalised about my value being linked to productivity. Rest is not simply stopping, the mind needs to be stilled as well. This relearning to rest takes a lot of headspace and energy. I’ve recently read ‘Wise Power’, another excellent book by Alexandra Pope and Sjarnie Hugo Wurlitzer and learnt the term ‘snudging’ which is what I now base my days around, doing just enough to get by (whilst being aware I miss people’s birthdays, lose touch with friends, stay partly in the underworld as there isn’t enough energy to emerge and this in turn creates grief which takes so much energy). This is hard, extremely painful, overwhelming and lonely work for me, however, I now can see it as an initiatory process with gold at the end. I’ve stripped back so much of my life as I entered the underworld and I’m now slowly finding new, boundaried ways of emerging.

I feel, to be honest, that I’ll rise just in time to hit another initiatory process, menopause. At aged 44 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, menopause seemed a long way off, not even remotely on the horizon, now aged 47 it’s within sight. Maybe, I’m already in it (I’m taking oestrogen suppressing medication so I could be), almost everything written in ‘Wise Power’ a book about menopause sings to my experience but this could be because the initiation I'm experiencing is archetypally like other initiatory processes. I would say, for sure, that trying to recover emotionally from cancer merges with perimenopause, a lack of energy having my oestrogen (medically) supressed along with parenting without a village. It’s a difficult mix. However, on the surface, in some respects, I carry on with everyday life: I wash the clothes, hang them to dry, do some work (though not what I was doing before), pick up the kids, make packed lunches, clear up after dinner etc. But this is just snudging, doing enough to get by whilst trying to trust that being in this unknown is okay, that I will fully emerge back into life, a new life, a much more authentic life with more ease and joy. I get glimpses but, of course, it’s not the linear process we have been taught to expect.

This is hidden work going on, not just for me, but for others experiencing illness, the initiation into parenthood, menopause and other initiatory processes. But in the hiding, wider understanding is lost. But in the telling, the teller/the sharer, puts their vulnerability in the hands of others, unless they can simply behold themselves. So, that leaves me to enquire can I see myself clearly enough, can I say this is who I am and how I am for the greater good of the wider society gaining some understanding and for me being my authentic self? Or do I just leave this as a file on my laptop, gathering metaphorical dust as the risk of being vulnerable is too big right now?

Well, the dust gathered for six months, I recently received a PTSD diagnosis related to my cancer experience and I snudged my way to this point. I decided to share this now in case anyone else is in need of the strategy of snudging but also to say this is me, this is how it is. This is my truth.

Thank you so much to my fabulous members on Patreon who support my work.
Through this donation-led membership I can fund this blog and publish it without random adverts between the text. My dream is to make my writing my main 'thing' to write heart-felt and truth-telling pieces. Can you help me? For as little as £1 a month you can become a member and receive exclusive content and a warm-glow inside, knowing you are helping me to live my authentic life.

Saving Energy and Keeping Warm!

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 12:56:24 GMT

Are you like me, obsessively watching your smart meter and despairing at how quickly the cost of electricity and gas goes up throughout the day? Energy prices rising (despite the energy price cap they are still likely to be more than last winter) and the mercury dropping certainly doesn’t help. With a long time to wait until the balmy (or at least warmer) days of summer coupled with the cost of living crisis, how can we keep warm without breaking the bank?

Sitting here on a chilly November morning with no heating currently on in my house, one easy, and I know a bit obvious tip, is to dress warmly. Layers really help in trapping air and insulating your body. I also have a blanket to hand and will pop that over me when I’m stationary, maybe watching TV or whilst working from home. It makes sense, to heat yourself first, rather than trying to heat whole rooms or houses. In addition to layers of clothing and blankets, hot water bottles, hand warmers and electric blankets can all keep you toasty and cosy when you are relaxing, or perhaps like me, working from home.

This, of course, is not enough but is a starting point. Once you put your central heating on, the cost to you and our planet in terms of carbon emissions really ramps up. So, what’s the most energy efficient way to run your heating? Firstly, turn the thermostat down! The average is set at 23°C which is actually the temperature of a warm summers day; T-shirt weather in fact. For every degree you turn your thermostat down you should reduce your bills by about 10%. You probably won’t even notice a degree difference in terms of temperature. For some people, who are less mobile or unwell, they may need to keep the temperature higher but for many turning the thermostat down and adding a layer of clothing is possible.

Other really simple things include shutting doors. I am the door police in my household, forever asking for doors to be shut! It really makes a difference to the warmth of the room. Draught excluders placed at the bottom of doors help too. Simply make one with old tights, filled with worn out or odd socks (though you could just wear the socks, who cares if they’re odd?). Also, shutting your curtains when it’s dark is another free way to save energy.

So, you’ve warmed up yourself, turned down your thermostat and done some simple things to insulate your house and reduce draughts, what about how long to have your heating on? Again, this may vary depending on an individual’s health and mobility. However, if you are active, getting up in the morning and going out to work or out and about it is more energy efficient to heat your home when you need it, i.e. when it is cold rather than to leave it on constantly on a lower setting. So, set it to go on in the morning, before you get up, then make sure it’s off before you leave the house. Then set it to come on in the evening but off at night when you are in bed. Obviously, there may be other times when you need it on, so pop it on to warm the house up if you need to but don’t leave it on constantly. My husband and I both work from home and we follow these ideas but still get cold when doing things like writing this newspaper column! We might put the heating on to take the chill off, say at lunchtime, drink lots of hot cups of tea and get up and do something active between the sedentary tasks sat at a computer.

These are just a few simple ideas. However, if they’re not enough and you are struggling to pay your energy bills you may be eligible for financial assistance. The government offers a range of benefits, grants, and schemes to help people pay their energy bills. You can find more information on the GOV.UK website .

As I’m writing I can feel my sock and slipper clad feet getting a bit chilly so time to shut the laptop, get up and get a warm snack. Mug of tomato soup anyone?

First published in the Exmouth Journal .

2023 is over! How was it?

Fri, 27 Jan 2023 12:13:41 GMT

I've time-travelled to the end of the year and reflected back. A kind of intention setting exercise; very powerful in thinking about how I'd like the year to be.

It’s the end of 2023 and this is what I’ve done: As the year began and people celebrated with “Happy New Years!”, fireworks and revelling, I was tucked up in bed all cosy and warm with the intention of doing things my way from now on! New Year, to me, is not a new start, it’s simply the continuation of winter and winter means rest and dreaming, tending to the seeds; for in the dark they are nourished and will germinate. I held fast when others were starting the new year with intention. I just started it slow. As January ended and the Celtic festival of Imbolc took place in February I planted these seeds and set some intentions to grow throughout the spring and summer.

My Intentions:

I will connect with nature and I will listen both to the natural world and to myself. I will live an authentic life and follow my instincts, leaning in to whether something is a clear “Yes” or “No”. I will act for people and the web of life. I will nourish my heart and soul.

These intentions were set as part of a ritual in February and I sat and I listened and I watched and nourished them. I checked in with myself throughout each and every day to ensure I was staying true to them and slowly as the sun got stronger and the weather warmer they began to grow.

Each day I connected with nature. I went outside and sat or walked with her come rain or shine. I breathed her in and observed her wisdom. I gave thanks to everything she does to support me and she sent me signs. She told me what was important and what I should write about and I shared with the world my insights. I wrote poems and stories and blog posts and newspaper columns. Sometimes I shared these widely, other times they were just for me. I learnt to be in the world in a new way, different to how I was before. I became unstuck and saw things for how they really were. The patriarchal bullshit that had permeated my being for the last 46 years dropped away and I became true to myself. In doing so, I created a life that was mine. A true and authentic existence based on being rather than doing. It was a, kind of, apprenticeship in the last few of my menstrual cycling years, to the wise, postmenopausal woman that I will become. The true guardian of this land which I’m called to be.

I said “Yes” to lots of things like the Soul Fire Writing Retreat in April, time with my husband and family and long walks by myself. I said “Yes” to keeping life simple, not filling it with to do lists and activities and my connection with my children deepened. I was there for them in a way I hadn’t been before. I was present. The small things became the big things and I cherished the precious moments like the simplicity of a meal together. Drop-offs and pick- ups became a time to connect and I truly felt like I got into my parenting groove.

I also said “No” to lots of things. In fact, “No” became my word for 2023 and it was said to cleaning and tidying, obligations and ‘shoulds’. I didn’t always go out for meals, just because I was invited, but only if going made my heart sing. I wasn’t perfect, I didn’t try and be everything to everyone as I was busy with the important work of being me. However, when I was with people, I listened and I drank in their wisdom, for I only spent time with those who were wise.

2023 also became the year for rest. Deep and nourishing, I learnt how to listen to my body and surrender to it. I chose the most restful option. I enjoyed long lie-ins and early nights, sunsets and the flicker of flames in my log burner and camp fires. This replenished me, in a way that numbing myself with TV screens and social media scrolls never could.

During all this time I wrote (when I wanted to): a newspaper column each month, a story on the Soul Fire Retreat (about this better way of being in the world within a futuristic new system), I journaled and took my notebook out with me on walks and camper van adventures. I wrote things I was proud of and shared them on my blog, submitted them to magazines and some of them were published. I’ve ended 2023 with a sense of groundedness and a growing confidence in my writing, grateful to everyone, human and more than human, who had helped and inspired me.

How was your 2023?

A total shift for the better in 48 hours. How's that possible?

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 11:01:32 GMT

Simply going on a Soul Fire Writing Retreat!

It was one of those ‘it was meant to be moments’, I was sat in a park for the summer meeting of Mother’s Who Make , talking about a recent online course I’d been doing when, due to that, someone else mentioned how much she thinks I’d like the Write on Changemakers Facebook group . So, once home, I joined the group and the following day a post appeared at the top of my newsfeed about the last remaining place on their retreat. It sounded perfect and I knew, if I wanted to go I’d need to push myself out of my comfort zone and act fast!

So, I secured my place, got on with the rest of the summer holiday and when September arrived it was time to start thinking about the retreat! Looking at the programme which included: campfires, foraged nettle soup and solo writing on a beach, I knew I’d made a good decision and pushed the thought that I’d have to write whilst there out of my mind!

I arranged train travel and took the slow route up one side of the Exe estuary and back down the other until I got to the nearby town of Totnes where I had arranged a pick-up. Somebody I didn't know giving me a lift set up the tone for the entire weekend, which was a literal and metaphorical 'picking up' as well as warm, friendly and inclusive.

We arrived at Slapton and found our way to meet up with facilitator’s Max and Sophie, hugs aplenty between those who knew each other and those who didn’t before I was shown to my room, a dormitory, just like school residentials, all to myself! I knew I’d need some space and that’s what I had with a choice of bunk beds and no one to look after all weekend. I was happy and nervous all at once! I started making up my bed and laying out a few things, so that this room felt like home, and I could hear noise coming from the corridor, it was the rooms being ‘shaken out’ and I was asked if I wanted this for my room too of which I agreed and, at that point, decided to just go with the weekend and be open to what might happen.

6pm was our first writing session. What I loved so much was the consent-based approach to this and all parts of the retreat. I could have chosen not to attend the session; I could have attended but not written anything. This was all clearly and explicitly explained and made me think of all the other times when it was the opposite (almost every work and educational setting I’ve ever been in). On reflection, I thought that really, I could have made this choice many times in the past, but I hadn’t, I’d always gone along with what I was asked, usually without much question. This says a lot about our culture, the coercive relationships and the being the ‘good girl’, ‘people- pleaser’ that I had clearly internalised.

Anyway, back to the retreat. The writing provocation was “Who are you and why are you here?”. This seemed like an easy enough, yet still potentially juicy question. So, I returned to my room got out my new notebook, especially for the retreat (new to me, but once belonging to a member of my household, still with their drawing on the cover) and wrote . Just wrote whatever was in my head until there was no more. Then stopped. Had a bit of a rest and joined the others for dinner.

A shared dinner of mushroom risotto, which happens to be one of my favourites but whatever it was I know I’d feel so grateful to turn up and just eat! No buying of food, preparing of food, laying the table, gathering people; just a plate, knife, fork and glass to wash-up at the end. Bliss!

I didn’t know most people, so, I sat and chatted to whoever happened to be sat with me at the table. Such fabulous, amazing people brought together through an interest in writing and a desire to make changes in whatever way they were called to. I chatted through dinner and was only just ready for the evening session. A circle around a campfire (if you wanted to attend, of course). We were going to have the opportunity to introduce ourselves, so I ripped out the pages I’d written on in my notebook, put on a warm jumper, coat and a hat and headed out into the dark.

A beautifully held space lay waiting for me. Where we could talk if and when we wanted, taking turns to hear about each other whilst the fire crackled, a majestic tree loomed overhead and the stars twinkled in the night sky. I didn’t know if I would have the courage to speak or to share my writing, but the space felt so safe that, after a while, I said I could take my turn and read out my writing by the light of a torch. I enjoyed hearing about everyone else, why they were at the retreat and who they were, but I was getting cold and thirsty and although it was made explicit that anyone could leave at any time, I couldn’t find the right ‘polite’ time to go and get a drink, so I sat until the end. Don’t get me wrong, I loved listening to everyone, but I was at a consent-based retreat ignoring my own needs because of perceived social graces! This left me dehydrated. I always need to drink lots of water and hadn’t that day due to travelling and just enjoying the retreat. I was shattered and needed sleep, I couldn’t drink enough to make me hydrated, and I just fell onto the bottom bunk hoping sleep would replenish me, which it didn’t.

I’m not used to talking to so many people in the evening or being around so many people I don’t know, and my brain would not rest! I was so happy and felt so comfortable at the retreat, but my brain wanted to keep reliving the evening when my body craved sleep. My brain won over and I had a restless night, waking with my alarm and feeling it’s all been lovely, but I’ve had enough now and just want to go home. But I showered and dressed, helped myself to breakfast and was nourished by the conversation as well as the delicious food laid out for me, but I was shattered. Shattered and feeling disappointed. I have spent so much time in the last few years being too tired to do what I want and need to do and here I am being brave and doing something for myself and tiredness is going to ruin it. I had in my head this idea that I could leave behind the ‘me’ of the last few years. The me who received a cancer diagnosis during a global pandemic. The me who struggled through without the wider support I needed. The me who had fatigue for over a year who couldn’t find joy or even do what was required of me as a mother. But it was clear to me, that morning, that I couldn’t just leave that baggage behind, it was part of me and impossible to just get rid of, I didn’t pack it in my suitcase, but it managed to sneak in any way! So, I sat in the first session of the day, a check in. Speak if you want to but don’t if you don’t. Just a ‘How are you today?’. As people took turns around the circle, I could feel myself getting emotional. I was so not used to simply being asked how I was, for people to check in and be ok with what I said. And I was tired, so tired. When it came to my turn, the tears flowed. Which is very unusual for me in this kind of ‘public’ situation. I cry in private (except for when I was having cancer treatment, when I cried All The Time!). It was a huge compliment to everyone there that I got emotional and could explain, briefly, why. I felt safe and held and knew that it was ok to actually not be ok. Something that I’ve so desperately needed but, in the main, haven’t got from others. I left the circle, got a tissue (it was clear the few hankies I’d packed simply wouldn’t be enough) and cried! I let the tears flow then mopped them up and returned to the circle.

The day carried on, people were busy preparing their picnic lunch for our trip to the beach. However, not so busy to not check in with me, which is what several people did. Gently giving me space to say more if I needed. This feeling of care and being metaphorically held was very powerful. It also meant I could trek down to the beach with other people and chit and chat about this and that as well as appreciate the pretty village of Slapton and the beautiful view as the sea came into sight.

On the beach we gathered in a circle and a Mary Oliver poem was read to us along with the writing provocation: “ What can this place tell me about my life and work and what can I bring back from here that will help?” Then off we went for solo writing. A piece of time to just be on the beach (or the neighbouring nature reserve) to do what I wanted. I walked a short way, settled in the shingles and stared at the sea. I had very little intention to write, rest is what was needed. I poured myself some fruit tea from my flask and listened to the ebb and flow of the sea and … I felt inspired to write! A few notes here and there inbetween sips of tea and lots of looking and listening. After a short time, I laid down on my coat with my scarf over my head to shade me from the hot sun. And rested. This was such a beautiful thing to do. To be alone but also to be together with the other people, doing their own thing. Some walked, some swam, some rested or wrote or drew. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’d always written, at home usually but sometimes in my camper van, when an idea had already come to me or a piece of writing needed to be done. I’d never just sat and seen what words came.

We returned to our circle on the beach, closed the session and ate our picnic lunch. I then headed off alone, back up the hill, through the village of Slapton and back to our centre. I didn’t join in with the afternoon activities I undressed, climbed back into bed and rested some more, listening to the sounds of nature coming in through my open window or yoga nidra being played through my headphones. I still found it hard to rest my mind fully but my body got a little break.
After a bit, I emerged and drank tea in the garden with people dotted about writing. We had a beautiful agreement not to disturb anyone who was writing so everyone could choose the place they wanted to be in, knowing they would be able to write and still not be fully alone. Once writing stopped, I had a lovely, nourishing conversation followed by a delicious meal and plenty of chats whilst eating and clearing up.

On offer for the evening were two quite contrasting activities: fun around the campfire outside or 'Dark night of the Soul' inside. As part of the process of the weekend being consent-based, it was clear what these activities involved so people could make an informed decision to opt in or opt out and could always leave during. I deliberated what to do. I was shattered, my head hurt, and I felt I needed sleep, but I was unsure whether sleep would come easily as so much had bubbled up to the surface for me that day. I needed to process it but would talking about it out loud make the pain stronger? I decided to risk it and went to 'The Dark Night of The Soul' a beautifully held space to talk about being stuck, which was something very alive for me that day and had been for a long time. The circle was cosy with candles burning in the centre. Everyone had time to talk about what was making them stuck as we went around the circle and people spoke or didn’t speak. Once someone had talked, the question “Anything else?” was posed and we circled for a second time. This really made it possible to go a bit deeper and feel that everything was said that needed to be said. Meditation was used to release whatever we personally needed to release. No comments or judgements were made and at the end hugs were offered. Just beautiful. Again, a space, very powerfully, held for me to be my whole self. So. Very. Healing. I slept deeply that night and woke, before my alarm (so very unlike me!) feeling refreshed.

The following day, carried on with the same beautiful provocations to write or choice not to. An anthology was being written with everyone welcome to have a piece included. Maybe I’ll look into it next week, I thought, feeling I had nothing to give right now. However, with the deadline of today, if possible, I went for a walk to see the sea and felt, very strongly, that I did have something to say. So, I returned to my room. Looked at my notes from the beach yesterday, rearranged the words on a word document and what was there in front of me was a poem! Now I’d not written a poem since I was about 18 so that really astonished me! I read it a few times and actually felt it was okay so I saved it to my laptop, in a hurry to get to the next session and deleted it instead!! The problem with having a new (to me) laptop! I didn’t want to mess around, trying to find it in my history, deleted files or wherever it still might be as I felt it was still in me, so I just wrote it again, saved it correctly and was five minutes late to the next session which was inspired by my, now, favourite poem, The Summers Day . The poem was inspired by an actual grasshopper that was eating icing off Mary Oliver’s cake so to accompany the writing session we were given an actual homemade cake with a beautifully made glass grasshopper made by an Ukrainian artist on top.

Wow, the attention to detail and the care taken by Max and Sophie, the facilitators, was felt so strongly in the room, and even inspired a poem to be written by someone that afternoon. So, I spent my afternoon, eating cake, sitting in the sun, helping someone take down their tent, and writing. I continued to do some writing on a writing retreat in which I thought “shit I’m going to have to write something!” at the start of the weekend, felt so drainined and emotional the next day but then felt great and wanted to write. Write because I could. Write because I had time and was inspired. Such an amazing gift to have received. That was part of the magic, part of the incredible, I’m not exaggerating when I say, life-changing experience of the retreat. But ultimately the shift occurred for me because I was welcomed to be my whole self and space was held for this. This is changemaking work and as I said in the closing circle at the end of the weekend, I will never quite be the same person again.

So, what do I mean when I say, “A shift for the better in 48 hours”?
- Ultimately it was a feeling from being stuck as a victim of my circumstances in which I didn’t feel well-supported by the wider world to feeling okay, good even, like it doesn’t feel quite like that anymore.
- I saw a different way for people to interact with each other and it was very healing.
- My faith in human nature was restored.
- I could be my ‘whole’ self. This was accepted and there was space for me to process it so the difficult feelings and tiredness didn’t actually ‘ruin’ the weekend as I thought they would they simply just became part of it.

This has continued to change me in that:
- I felt this shift continue for a couple of months and although it’s weakened, a little, I was still changed by the experience.
- I now write poetry!
- I also write regularly in a notebook, my thoughts as I am sitting in the garden or on the beach. I try to take my notebook out and about with me but if I find myself without it, I use the notes on my phone.
- I write for no reason (see above), just for the pleasure of it and have found it a beautiful, mindful activity.
- However, I’ve also used my notebook for ideas in writing newspaper columns, social media posts and, even, poetry!
- I now also read poetry.
- I have hardly touched a drop of alcohol since. No one drank alcohol on the retreat, though we could have if we wanted. It made me really think how crazy drinking alcohol is, that I’d spent so many years doing so, knowing it was damaging for my body but somehow accepting it as part of the social experience and, to be honest, enjoying how I felt more relaxed because of it. However, if I could go away alone, with lots of people I didn’t know, have a very deep and emotional experience and not need to be propped up by a glass of wine, why was I drinking on a Saturday night at home?
- I’ve also hardly drunk cans of coke since, another habit drink that I replaced with lovely fruit teas that weekend.

Ultimately, the details of how it impacted me are important (to me anyway) but I want to end emphasising the power of holding space for others and accepting how they are in that exact moment. That is where the healing is and if that was more wide-spread in our culture that would truly change the world.

If you are interested in finding out more about the Soul Fire Writing Retreat take a look here .

A Monday morning beach walk and lessons to learn from this season.

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 11:59:36 GMT

The privilege of being here, first thing on a Monday morning. The emptiness. The people have gone: the day-trippers, the picnickers, sandcastle makers and sun-bathers. Those from the human world that remain are the hardy swimmers, the determined joggers, the forced out by their hound dog-walkers and me. We’re here to embrace the season, not fair-weather seaside goers. We are here, present and alive. This is a privilege not available to all and for some, even local people like me, the journey here has been long. This freedom and joy have been preceded by pain and an awakening. The transformation is here, I step into it, into an authentic life. I have felt all the feelings, I have leant into them and let them sit with me and walk with me in this place. As the world turns and autumn is with us, I embrace it, thank goodness there is some certainty. The emptiness of the beach reminds me of my need for solitude, I think, but no it’s not that its authenticity. Not to be in the crowd but to be discerning and be with those who nourish me. It’s okay to be part of the few not the masses.

The tide is high, smoothing the sand and blurring the edges. This season is washing away what no longer serves me. I see it going out to sea. The sky is grey, filled with clouds as if from a watercolour palette. Grey and white smudged together into one. The sea mirrors the sky, as always, a liquid silver. In this grey I acknowledge the work I have done facing my darkness, my shadow side. I know this contrasts with the warmth in my life and I am grateful. Then all of a sudden, the light bursts through the clouds and the grey turns to blue, the most perfect of perfect sky blues. The clouds break up into fluffy cotton wool and the sun is so bright I can no longer look. But I trust it is there and always has been.

Life can be like this; starting the working week on a beach, tasting the sweet jam and being filled with awe and wonder. What is autumn teaching you?

With thanks to Brigit Anna McNeill and her journaling prompts .

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A Breast Lump!?!

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 11:53:02 GMT

I'm going back to autumn 2020 for this blog post for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Monday morning can't be bothered to have a shower but don't want to stink! Quick wash of armpits over the sink. Bar of soap is all that's needed. If you know me, you'll know I quit those stupid plastic wash scrunchies years ago! Thank goodness for that, it's not just plastic I've saved, maybe I've saved my life too. As quick a wash as it was, it still detected a lump! Am I sure? Is it definitely there? There's definitely something, very small, but something. Clothes thrown on and out the door on the school run. Day carries on. School pick-up before I know it and then a drive to Exeter. The kids need clothes, but the Coronavirus rate is rising. A second wave is on its way so better to go now.

Tuesday decide to ignore the lump. I did prod and poke quite a bit yesterday. Perhaps I made it inflamed, bigger than it really was. Carry on regardless.

Wednesday, back from school run. Really must just check that lump. In bathroom, bra off. Arm down, nothing. Arm up, there it is. It's real, it's there. Husband working from home. Mention the lump as the kettle boils to set up the working day with a warming cuppa. We talk about it. He's concerned, I'm worried. He has a feel, and he can feel it too. Shit!

I need to see a doctor. I don't want to see a doctor, but I must, this is not a time for hesitation. I phone the surgery. The phone is answered by a machine, stock answer but now it explains about what to do if you have symptoms of Coronavirus. I start crying and put the phone down. Perhaps making an appointment via the website will be easier. It's possible but you have to go into the surgery (which is not advised due to Covid) to get a pin number to access online services. I'll have to phone. I listen to the pre-recorded message. I don't cry. I wait patiently in the queue. I'm currently in position 3 in the queue! I wait. I’m still in position 3 in the queue, position 2, position 1. Eventually I get through. I ask to see a doctor. I'm told, due to Covid, I can't see a doctor, but I can have an online appointment in 6 weeks. I do not simply say okay and make an appointment. Never do that. Say, just say, why you need to see a doctor NOW. "I've got a breast lump." I've got her attention. She still can't make an appointment I have to speak to the duty doctor. I hope the doctor rings before the kids are home. I hope the doctor doesn’t ring when I'm doing the school run. He rings just before I need to leave for school. So lovely and sympathetic, he's sorry I've got a lump. Now I'm worried, a doctor saying he's sorry that's got to be a bad sign. Appointment booked for the next day.

Sat in the waiting room, socially distanced from others I try not to cry all over my face mask. I was told by the duty doctor that it's extremely likely I'll be sent to the breast clinic. I am. I'm told by the GP nine in ten people who are referred are fine. Good odds but what about the 10% who aren't?

I wait for the post and the appointment to come through. It's quick. I'm told it should be and it's no need to worry. I have to go alone, due to Covid. I'm told to expect a long wait, that I could be there for four hours. I take a picnic, a book and a flask! I sit in the waiting room filling in a form asking me when my last period was and what family history of breast cancer I've got. I try to fill it in without anyone else seeing, despite the social distancing, it's embarrassing. This is surgical outpatients. I wonder what everyone else is here for, I hope they aren't Covid positive. Five minutes pass. I'm called in. I haven't finished my form. I'm asked to change into a weird gown. It's like a cape with velcro at the front but in thin, worn-looking, hospital fabric. I hide my bra under my pile of clothes which I place on top of my bag. You don't know if someone with the virus might have sat on this chair before me. The doctor asks me where the lump is. He examines me. He tells me where to go for my mammogram and ultrasound. He says it's unlikely, but I might need a biopsy. I know I won't as I've come to be told everything is ok. I get dressed. I'm given a brown envelope to take with me and I'm told to take the horrible gown. As I carry my coat, I try to hide the gown underneath, so embarrassing. I head in the vague direction I was told. This place is confusing. I find the stairs and head upstairs. At the top I wonder which way to go? Someone notices me and points me in the direction of the breast clinic. How does she know where I need to go? Is it written on my face? Are my boobs still out? A quick check confirms not! Ah the envelope clearly states: "Breast Clinic", embarrassing.

I get to the reception. I'm asked if my reusable face mask contains a filter. It doesn't. I'm asked to wear a single-use medical mask. I sit in the waiting room. A man waits too. His partner appears after being seen. She's older than me and wears a head scarf. I'm not supposed to be here. This is not the place for me. I've just got to have these two tests then I'll be out of here.

After a few minutes I'm taken into a changing room and asked to change back into the robe and to place my bag and clothes into a shopping basket. Once ready I wait and then I'm taken into a dimly lit room and asked to remove my robe. I stand, topless, and I'm told the mammogram will squash my breasts and that it's a bit uncomfortable. I stand near the machine, and I'm told to lean myself into it. "Not on your tip toes" I'm told. I try again. "Not on your tip toes". My breasts are squashed, I'm asked to stand in various positions as I'm squashed and photographed again and again. I remember this'll nearly be over. I'll soon be told everything's fine, and I can restart my life.

I put the robe back on and carry my shopping basket to a corridor where I sit. Along the corridor is a different older woman. She looks like she's been here before. I feel sorry for her. I'll soon be out of here! I go into another room. Lie on my side. Explain where the lump is. The doctor/nurse/I really don't know what her exact job is, though she seems nice and tells me her name, can't find the lump (good sign I think). I find it for her. She puts the familiar jelly stuff I remember from pregnancy scans and presses on my boob. Almost done, I think. However, she keeps pressing and harder (or so it seems). I know something is wrong. In what seems like a few seconds, but I'm sure is longer, I'm having a biopsy. I cry, endless tears. I say it's because I'm a big wimp (which is true) but it's also because I know this is serious. First a local anaesthetic, then another needle, which as it's removing some of my breast tissue sounds like a stapler. I'm warned of the sound in advance. I'm not in pain but I cry. She says this isn't necessarily bad news. A nurse dresses my wound. She's kind. I'm given a piece of paper telling me how to look after the wound once I get home. I'm taken back to the changing room and told to go back to the previous department. I cry. I remove my face mask whilst it's safe to do so. I wipe my eyes and blow my nose on my hankie. I secure it inside a plastic bag in my handbag and sanitise my hands. I get dressed and leave. I'm disorientated and can't remember the way back. No one offered to show me the way, no one notices me. I wonder how long I could go missing walking along this seemingly endless corridor before someone starts looking for me? I’m not even sure why I have to go back as I've been told I'll be given an appointment to get the results.

I find my way. I sit for a few minutes before being called in. It's constantly hard to fully hear what's said through the face mask of the person speaking but I'm sure he just said it's very likely to be bad news. I check "So you're saying it's very likely to be cancer?"

"Yes" he replies. I'm confused. He's got it wrong. I'm here to be told everything's fine. Perhaps he muddled me up with someone else. I cry. He says nothing. I ask about the risk to my sister and daughter's. He answers. I remember silence as I continue to cry. He gets a nurse and leaves. She sits with me. She says to let it all out and continue to cry and then it'll all be okay. I know it won't. I get a tissue and try to mop up the tears. She says they see lots of people here and that I'm in great hands, or words to that affect. She asks about my children. I think about telling them I have cancer. She says it's nearly half term. A half term that's now been ruined. I decide to leave. This sitting here crying is not helping, I've got to drive myself home. She compliments me on my top as I put my coat on. As I leave she says have a nice day.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know the diagnosis was breast cancer and you’ll also know I’m now free of cancer (physically, though the emotional healing is still a challenge). I’m sharing this here to encourage other people to check their breasts and to react quickly if you find something unusual:

I didn’t check regularly but I did react quickly, which may well have saved my life.

Who are you and why are you here?

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 09:42:19 GMT

I recently went on a writing retreat and this question was the initial writing provocation. I'm wondering if any of this resonates with you? I'd love to hear your answer to the question x

I’m a mother – yes, I just wanted a weekend away from my family!

Honestly 14 years of parenting has left me depleted and, really, a little unsure of who I am!

I know I’m a taxi service for my children, a cleaner and, sometimes, a cook. I’m a maker of packed lunches and a manager of other people’s schedules. I hold space for other’s emotions (and sometimes I’m just good at losing my temper!), I remember to check someone’s fed the guinea-pigs but this isn’t the true essence of who I am!

I’m in a bit of a limbo, a liminal space between what was and what will be. I’m trying and learning to hold that space for me. For rest. To find out who I really am and what I want to do and be in the second half of my life. I wish I could have just said, at the start of this, that I’m a writer! Because I do write stuff but I’m that person on a writing retreat who thinks “Shit, I’m actually going to have to write something!”.

So, I’m here to gain confidence. I’m here to be nourished. I’m here to do something for me, without getting lost in the drudgery of life (though I’m happy to clear up after dinner!). I’m here to be open, to see what happens and, not once, sweep up guinea-pig poo or remind someone to do something – I’m here to just be me.

So, that only leaves me to ask you: “Who are you and why are you here?”

I honestly can't explain how amazing the retreat was! If you want to find out more take a look at the information about the Soul Fire Writing Retreat on the Write on Changemakers website or look out for me, as a writer, writing about it in the future! Watch this space!

Where does Inspiration come from?

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 13:07:29 GMT

I was recently asked by Karin Borland (from @karin_borland_art) what inspires me? Here's my response.

Hi, I’m Sarah: a writer, teacher and mother. I’m inspired to make this beautiful planet a better place. For me, this works in three simple ways. Firstly, the planet - we share it with every single other living creature but humans have become dominant and are destroying it at the cost of destabilising conditions for all of us. I am on a journey to become as eco-friendly as possible, making small changes (and hopefully inspiring others) that add up to a big difference. I’m also inspired by the wonders of nature everyday: the wildflowers blooming in my garden, the wood pigeon swooping overhead and a stunning sunset. So remarkable.

Secondly, children – of course, they can be inspiring in their own right - but I’m inspired to interact with them in a respectful and gentle way. Rewards and sanctions are gone in our house and we operate as a democracy where everyone gets an equal say. As parents we only step in when it’s a health and safety issue. If only mainstream education was like this! That’s one of the reasons I have currently opted out of my previous role as a primary school teacher and instead ‘teach’ through talks, posts and my Changemaker membership (supporting members on their own eco-friendly journey).

Thirdly, self-care which I’m aware should be first – I’m working on that one! I’m slowly learning to reject the patriarchal, capitalist system that has told me my only worth is my productivity. I’m ensuring I have rest, charting and living in sync with my menstrual cycle and the Earth’s seasons.

My book ’52 Tips To Reduce Waste’ is available through my website: https://www.rhubarbandrunnerbeans.co.uk/

Check out Karin's amazing nature-inspired art @karin_borland_art including my guest post on her Instagram account.

'Being' not 'Doing' for 30 Days Wild!

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Wed, 15 Jun 2022 09:56:28 GMT

As 30 Days Wild draws to its half-way point, I thought I’d share what I’ve been doing. It’s not a list of different activities each day. I’m not against that type of blog post and have been inspired by them in the past but, for me, it can feel like another thing to add to the ‘to do’ list or a bit of pressure to do something wildly (excuse the pun!) different. Lockdowns and periods of illness, when I couldn’t drive and sometimes wasn’t able to go for a walk, were not my favourite teachers but they did help to show me that nature is everywhere and you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything to experience it - though she is harder to spot in some places, of course. So, it’s more about ‘being’ than ‘doing’ for me; this is some of the things I have experienced:

Breakfast on the patio, almost every day.

Sleeping in a tent in the garden.

Listening to the dawn chorus (from my bed!).

Watching the sun go down at a festival.

Resting under a blanket in the garden.

Yoga Nidra in the tent.

Watching the sea from my camper van on a rainy day.

Looking at the estuary as I walk to the shops.

Lying on a rug, cloud gazing.

Watching bees and butterflies flit from flower to flower.

Looking at the landscape pass by from a train.

Craning my neck to see glimpses of the sky above a city skyline.

Sitting in Millenium Square, Bristol watching people pull up onions to take home for their dinner.

Picking strawberries in my pyjamas, turning each over, hoping not to find a hole containing contented woodlice munching on the sweet fruit – they’re supposed to like wood!

Slowly noticing, day by day, cherries on our tree turning from green to having patches of light pink.

What about you, are you taking part in 30 Days Wild?

From Covid Isolation into the Storm!

Sat, 19 Feb 2022 13:50:29 GMT

As my self-isolation due to Covid was ending Storm Eunice was battering the South West. Even if I could get out I couldn't! I started isolating 11 days ago, I had symptoms: a sore throat but nothing else. I probably wouldn't have isolated if my family had not all been getting positive lateral flow tests, one by one the 2 lines appeared. Mine carried on being negative but their symptoms started with a sore throat and several days later the cough appeared. I knew where this was heading and suspected I already had Covid. Strangely it was a bit of a relief, a chance to retreat and not be plagued with decisions about what to do or where to go! With no questions about what we were doing for the weekend, we set up our hot tub in the garden (powered through our green electricity tariff) and settled back into relax mode. Now don't get me wrong, I know Covid is not like this for everyone. We are all fully vaccinated apart from my youngest daughter who is too young. We had mild symptoms and have the privilege of a comfortable house in which to sit them out. In some respects this was less isolating for me than the experience I have been going through for the last 17 months. A couple of days before symptoms appeared, I was in bed almost all day struggling with the exhaustion of trying to rebuild my life after cancer. The day before I cried due to the sheer exhaustion and isolation of it all. So, to then get Covid symptoms it was a bit of a relief to have something tangible, with a definite end point in sight (I know for some it is not like this). To focus on the Covid recovery, some how, placed less strain on me to recover from cancer. Don't get me wrong it wasn't all a spa-like retreat! As I took my Covid test on day 9, hoping just hoping for a walk the following day, the very faint second line appeared and I cried. Schools shut down around this moment as Storm Eunice was coming and with a red weather warning it really was time to hunker down, once more, and sit out the storm.

However, today I am on day 12. Current government guidelines state this is the time I no longer need to test for Covid and can finally leave the house! I wanted adventure, to explore a part of Devon I've not been to yet but I woke tired, my husband was struggling as well and with a yellow weather warning we decided to stick closer to home. With the mention of going out for breakfast, the children piped up "McDonalds!". This seemed like an easy option. We headed to the drive through for hash browns, pancakes and no cutlery please! We were in our camper van and certainly didn't need the single-use plastic knives and forks. We headed from the relatively calm of the outskirts of Exmouth to the wilds of Budleigh Salterton! The storm was still battering the coastline, with waves crashing on the beach and a few brave walkers getting pushed around by the wind. I poured out the tea from my flask and ate my pancakes with my metal cutlery, watching the gulls attempting to fly through the head wind - freedom!

On the way home we could finally stock up on a few items. The main one being guinea-pig supplies, namely wood shavings. Since swapping the piggies out of their cage and permanently into their run we hardly ever need to buy this as we only need it for their litter tray. As always, a trip to Pets at Home includes spending most of the time looking at the guinea-pigs with wishes of getting more!

Across the road is Home Bargains, a shop which appeals to the kids so we had a little browse. It's somewhere you can pick up a few staples like bread, cheese and cereal as well as plastic-free chocolate. Soap is almost down to nothing at home so I was pleased to spot some in cardboard, though containing palm oil it won't become a regular purchase.

Returning home from our not very adventurous outing it was, of course time for a cup of tea. I've just picked up the book 'Dougnut Economics' by Kate Raworth again which offers an alternative economic roadmap for bringing humanity into a sweet spot that meets the needs of all within the means of the planet. Have you read it?

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Plastic-Free Shopping next to the River Otter

Fri, 21 May 2021 16:35:09 GMT

A little 'outing' to try and restore some normality!

Getting back to some sort of normality, I headed off to Otterton Mill today. A short drive from my house in Exmouth through beautiful countryside I wanted to combine a need for food shopping with a little bit of an ‘outing’. I also wanted to avoid Exmouth town centre, though a lovely place it is actually quite busy and I felt a bit unsafe last time as it was impossible to even keep a 1 metre distance in the fruit and veg shop. This definitely wasn’t a problem in Otterton Mill this rainy Friday morning shortly after it opened.

I went with my normal attitude of not having a list (other than fruit, veg and bread) and buying what they had available plastic-free. The small food shop has baskets of produce outside, mostly unpackaged. I picked up a beautiful, multicoloured pepper (ideal to top tonight’s pizza) along with broccoli, leek, spring onions and a red onion all placed directly into the shopping basket. I have a couple of reusable produce bags that I carry around in my handbag which are ideal for smaller items; I filled these with cherry tomatoes and mushrooms. This is the first time I’ve been inside the shop since the pandemic, it’s small but the one way system and other customer’s willingness to wait outside meant I could have a look, get what I need and get out without feeling overwhelmed. The bread at the mill is delicious. I got a granary loaf for lunch and spotted some vegan ‘butter’ in the fridge. I’ve never tried any before, we tend to have actual butter because it’s plastic-free, palm oil free and we like it! I hardly ever use it myself and tend to drizzle rape seed oil on toast or in a jacket potato (yes it is nice!). This alternative to dairy butter by Flora is in paper packaging. It does actually contain palm oil but it’s sustainable palm. I’m always suspicious of sustainable palm as I’ve read that several leading charities say the rules aren’t strict enough (1). Also does it just mean the area was deforested in the past before a certain date? Sustainable palm means no primary forest can be cleared for it’s production (1). But was it just cleared previously for production of something else? However, it’s also most likely that the pasture the average British dairy cow is grazing used to once be part of the forested area of the UK. It is estimated that 75% of Britain was forested 6,000 years ago, now it has fallen to less than 12% (2). Plus palm oil is used in animal feed included food fed to dairy cows. My point is it’s an extremely complicated situation and I thought I’d give the vegan alternative a try!

Anyway, once I’d packed my shopping into my reusable shopping bags and taken them back to the car park I decided to do just a little bit of exploring. I headed into the gift shop and past where milling still actually takes place in this beautiful old mill. I needed a birthday card, but they were all packaged in plastic film so I gave them a miss. I headed back to my camper van and sat watching the river rush past whilst I refuelled with a quick banana and a sip of water from my reusable bottle, which I always try to remember to throw into my bag along with my reusable mask (think keys, phone, mask and if you’re me food and drink!). I don’t know what you’re like but I struggle to allow myself to relax and enjoy my surroundings, especially on a week day. I’ve internalised the capitalist ideals of production and society’s norm and expectation of working hard and not being lazy! Yes I really have, I imagine people who know me rolling their eyes at that last sentence! I have had to work hard at allowing myself to rest, relax, enjoy life. So, although it might seem different looking in from the outside, my inner self is actually still struggling, feeling like I must get home and get on with ‘important’ stuff! However, I give myself a moment to eat and drink and to listen to myself. Do I want to go home? Would I prefer to go for a walk? The barriers go up, I don’t want to put my wellies on, I don’t want to walk past people on the footpath. However, the truth is there aren’t many people about this rainy morning and my wellies are simply under the back seat in the van. I’m glad I paused for this short moment and got out beside the River Otter.

The rules of parking at Otterton Mill state that customers may only leave the site for a maximum of 30 minutes. That suits me. I’m struggling regularly from fatigue. Although my hospital treatments for cancer thankfully ended a few months ago I still haven’t regained my previous strength this coupled with a lot of ongoing stress means 30 minutes is actually a long walk for me now. In reality after 10 minutes of walking into a strong head wind I am very happy to turn around and walk back, although also revived a little by my walk.

Returning to the car park I fancy a coffee. I take my reusable cup to the cool looking, vintage horsebox selling drinks in the car park only to be told they don’t accept reusable cups. Surely it’s time to change this policy? My cup is clean and it could be moved around using a tray to achieve contactless coffee if required. I did mention this to the member of staff and also that I understood she was just following company policy. Over 100 scientists have actually stated that reusable cups are safe (3). This pandemic is adding so much to the problems of plastic pollution, I try not to dwell too much on this so not to spoil the benefits of my little ‘outing’. I decline to buy coffee and return home for my plastic-free cup of tea.

1: What is sustainable palm?, BBC News, 3 September 2019

2: British Forest Landscapes, The Legacy of Woodland Fragmentation, Quarterly Journal of Forestry

3: Reusable containers safe during covid-19 pandemic, say experts, The Guardian, 22 June 2020

Thank you so much to my fabulous patrons who support my work.
Become a Patreon member and help Rhubarb and Runner Beans grow! Learn More about how to become a member and about exclusive rewards such as access to all my newspaper columns or support on your eco-friendly journey.

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You might also like: Plastic Free Walking , another blog post where I write about fitting in self-care around every day life.

How to protect the environment and still wear clothes!

Wed, 20 Jan 2021 10:46:31 GMT

It was great to see sustainable fashion come up in a year 8 textiles lesson recently. The task was to write an article so my daughter decided to write a blog post. Lovely to have her here as a guest blogger.

Everyone needs to wear clothes but how you do this can be harmful to the environment. There are also ways that you can make fashion eco-friendly. With the rise of throw away fashion and people feeling they have to buy new things when they come into trend this can lead to a lot of waste. In this article I will give you ideas of how you can reduce your carbon footprint when it comes to clothes:

- Donating old clothes or clothes you no longer want to a charity shop is a great way to stop them going into landfill. It's easy to do this and it means someone else gets something new. This uses a lot less resources and you are helping make money for people who need it . There are probably some charity shop near you and when you drop them off you can have a quick browse yourself (when you are allowed).

While we are in lockdown you can store them for when charity shops are open or give them to your friends.

- Emailing the company owner to see where the materials come from so you can buy the most eco-friendly things possible. If a company you like to buy clothes from don't use environmentally friendly fabrics you could give them ideas of how to change. For example, asking them to switch to organic materials.

- Upcycling is a great idea to save money and protect the environment. If you have a dress that is too short you could turn it into a top.

By doing one or more of these simple ideas you will reduce your carbon footprint with clothing.

My Flight Free 2020 - in a year when flying wasn't really a thing!

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 19:24:21 GMT

2020, like for so many, was flight free for me. Many of you probably had to forgo your annual trip abroad due to the pandemic. However, for me, this was intentional – a pledge I made last year to not fly in 2020 so I could lower my carbon footprint and raise awareness of the aviation industry’s role in climate change.

As you are very aware, the year did not pan out as expected but back at the start of 2020 I started to mention my #flightfree2020 on social media. To be honest, I felt pretty unhappy about this self-imposed clipping of my wings but after calculating my carbon footprint in 2019 and finding out just one return flight to Northern Italy was a significant percentage of the carbon I was responsible for emitting I was determined to take on this challenge. Let me just mention that I do understand this comes from a place of privilege. Much of the world couldn’t make this decision as, in fact, most people never fly.

In January, I was listening to Radio Devon and they were talking about Flybe. At that time the government was thinking about rescuing this company and I felt strongly that as a climate emergency had been declared by the UK parliament in May 2019 this was not the right course of action. So, I sent a quick text to the radio and was then invited to speak live a few minutes later! Strangely, I agreed! I was shaking and scared but felt this was a great way to further my campaign of raising awareness. As soon as I’d finished speaking and was off air, I was asked if I would consider being filmed for BBC TV. I agreed and spent most of the day cleaning my house – where they were going to film and wondering what on earth I had agreed to this for! The Earth was, of course, the reason. So, I ended up being filmed about my flight free pledge for Spotlight and The Politics Show. Fame and fortune followed – no of course it didn’t! Life just went back to normal.

As you probably know, the government agreed a rescue plan for Flybe but the company announced it had ceased operation in March. I am sorry for the loss of jobs for local people and all the hardship and stress this has caused.

Around this time, as a family we were lucky enough to go away for a weekend to a lovely, converted farm building, now a holiday cottage, near Exeter and spend most of the time relaxing in the hot tub outside. Coronavirus was on it’s way and this restorative weekend helped a little in what we were about to face.

On the subject of holidays, as we’d pledged to be flight free this year we’d already booked a gorgeous apartment in Cornwall and, as you know, once August arrived we were all allowed to travel throughout the UK once again. I was so grateful for this holiday – I know many weren’t able to have one during 2020. My pledge for the planet was helping my family in unexpected ways.

Once again, we were able to get away in October, this time six miles away to Ladram Bay. Cancelled during lockdown 1 and falling before lockdown 2, the gratitude for having this opportunity was very strongly felt. This also happened at a difficult time when we were waiting for results to find out whether I had cancer. Since then, I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer and I’m in the midst of treatment which, literally and figuratively, have kept my feet on the ground – landing with one hell of a bump, I can tell you!

So Flight Free 2020 was not how I had imagined. 2020 was not how any of us had imagined. I’ve done little to actually highlight the damaging effects of aviation – it’s been a matter of getting through the year for both me and you. However, I feel incredibly lucky to have spent it in Devon and Cornwall. I hope you might have found some joy in where you live too.

If you're inspired to have a flight free year take a look at the Flight Free UK website .

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This blog post was first published in my fortnightly column in the Exmouth Journal .

Real Nappies in Real Life

Sun, 23 Aug 2020 18:28:33 GMT

Fabulous guest blog post; an honest, funny and informative post all about reusable nappies.

It's the curious look on your baby's face; the sudden sound of a semi-solid squelch; the vibration in your lap and the whiff of digested milk that lets you know your baby has filled their nappy. And you just hope it's been contained by that white rectangle of stitched cloth in the fancy nappy wrap with the funky design

The stench of ammonia comes from a pile of nappies awaiting the wash, followed by a rhythmic thumping as they're flung around the machine for their final spin. They hang in rows on the line as the yellow poo stains slowly vanish in the UV rays, becoming stiff and crisp and smelling sweet like sunshine. Or, when the weather dictates, they're strewn through the house to dry, hung over every radiator, chair, door and even on the odd picture frame. Babies with bulky bottoms crawl around in baggy trousers, “cut for cloth”.

And you're rewarded with the feeling that you've saved hundreds of disposable nappies from waste (which can take hundreds of years to degrade), you've saved gallons of water (the production of disposables uses more water than the production and care of “real nappies”) and you've made significant financial savings too (while loosing many hours to the laundry and learning the intricate details of someone else's bowl movements).

We all know why real nappies are a good choice for environmental and economic reasons, but what about the social aspect? How does it work in real life? “You're brave,” someone told me when I declared that disposables would never darken our door. Brave? Well, I can understand that viewpoint if you fear losing your life to the laundry. However, after five years of parenthood, we've come out the other side of our real nappy experience and we're very happy with our choices; we' d do it all over again. I don't know what your circumstances are and I'm not here to tell you what to do, but I will tell you the reasons why real nappies have worked for our family:

Setting the precedent:

When I was 5 years old I remember watching my mum change my youngest brother's terry cloth nappy and explaining how you need to make a different fold for boys. I also remember the two Mothercare nappy buckets that lived in our bathroom. I always imagined I would do the same and this idea only got stronger as I learnt more about our environmental impact on the world and the detrimental effect that disposables could have. I learnt that washing machine technology had advanced and nappy buckets were no longer needed. You just rinse the poop off into the toilet, wash the nappies in the machine, then hang them out to dry and let the sun do its stain removing magic.

Cost:

Our first set of cloth nappies cost under £40 from eBay. The bundle contained several small and larger sized prefold nappies with wraps, a dry bag and even a cot bed sheet. We had looked into starting off with a real nappy free trial kit, but were told we would have to supplement with disposables until we'd chosen a style of nappy and bought a whole set of them. This was not acceptable as we'd already decided that disposables were out of the question, so we checked out eBay and were pleased to find plenty of affordable options.

We got on well with the prefold style, which was a relief as the variety of reusable nappy styles available was overwhelming. Later some friends gave us their prefolds and wraps as

well as a few terry cloth nappies. Having a go at nappy origami with the terries was fun, but ultimately we preferred the prefolds for ease of use and efficiency. Terries are quicker to dry though.

Buying cloth nappies new can set you back a couple of hundred pounds, but this is nothing compared to the amount you will spend on disposables. If you're able to buy them second hand or are lucky enough to have a friend who wants to pass them on for free, you could save a substantial amount of money not to mention further reducing the carbon footprint of the nappies.

Support:

The whole process was made much smoother by my husband who shares my ideals, is willing and able to change nappies and deal with the contents and knows how to use a washing machine. I appreciate that if your partner is won't get involved or you're a single parent then cloth nappies could be a challenge. I know a couple of single mums who started out with the best intentions, but ultimately had to switch to disposables for the sake of their own sanity.

We have a supportive family who have been happy to change cloth nappies while looking after our babies and also let us use their washing machine when ours was broken.

Holidays:

We have taken our cloth nappies and washed them on holidays in the UK, France, Spain and Israel while staying in self catering accommodation and with relatives in their own homes. We've even taken our nappies on weekend camping trips (and one weekend in a Travelodge) as we have enough to last us until we get home to our washing machine.

Space and time:

We have our own washing machine, a garden with three washing lines in it and space for a clothes airer in the second bedroom for when it's raining. We don't have space for a tumble dryer, but we're happy with this as tumble dryers use up more energy and reduce the longevity of the nappies by knocking some of the fibres out. If you have nowhere to dry nappies or are reliant on the laundrette, then cloth nappies could be too much.

Since having children we've taken it in turns to be the stay at home parent with a stint where we were both working. This means that we have some of that commodity we all crave more of: time. When we were both working I would put the machine on a timer over night so the nappies would be ready to hang out in the morning before work. In the summer I would sometimes wash the nappies in the evening and hang them out overnight. I realise those who work full time might not want the extra work involved with cloth nappies. I think if we both worked full time I would have still wanted to give reusables a go as I was so keen to avoid disposables.

If you are time poor but have a good income you could consider a nappy laundry service where they collect your dirty nappies and deliver clean ones.

Health and ability:

Neither my husband nor myself have any physical or mental health issues that would prevent us from using and washing cloth nappies. People living with chronic pain, decreased mobility and motivational issues (to name a few) might well struggle with the workload of cloth nappies, though I'm sure there are some heroes out there who are persevering anyway.

In addition, neither of our children have special needs. I have a friend with an adult son with special needs and disposable wipes and nappies are a real necessity for them.

Leaking:

This is the most common reason I hear for switching to disposables other than lack of time. Our first baby was a girl and her nappies hardly ever leaked. Then we had a boy and found his nappies often leaked at night. I put this down to the fact that his anatomy is different and the pee could go off in any direction! We solved this by putting reusable pull-ups over the nappy wrap to absorb the overflow and I would give him a nappy change once during the night. I know some parents can't face the night time nappy change though.

I have a friend who used Little Lamb nappies who often complained about leakage. She realised that they hadn't come with adequate instructions and once she'd found a decent video tutorial on how to fit them properly, they stopped leaking. Going to real nappy support groups or asking other parents to share experience and tips can also really help if you feel your nappies are not working properly.

Elimination Communication (EC) / baby led pottying:

We've been using cloth nappies since birth, but we've also been holding our children over the potty since birth too. The idea of EC is that babies are born with a sense of their elimination needs but can't yet control them. It's the parent's job to look out for signals that the baby needs to eliminate and give them a "pottytunity" (just as you would look out for signals that they're tired or hungry). Parents can also make sounds like "psss psss" to help form an association and can use timing as a prompt by offering the potty after feeding or during a nappy change.

EC has been an important part of our cloth nappy journey. It has enabled our children to have lots of nappy free time resulting in less nappy rash and minimal need for nappy cream. Every pee or poo caught in the potty meant one less nappy for us to wash. Don't get me wrong, we had plenty of "misses" but luckily we have wipe clean floors and would clean up accidents with an old muslin (which takes up less space in the machine than a prefold nappy). Reportedly, some babies who are brought up with EC are completely nappy free by 10 months old. We didn't manage this, but both our babies were doing "no. 2's" in the potty by the age of 1 meaning that cleaning up a pooy nappy was rare and by 2 years old they were mainly nappy free during the day; car journeys and other people's clean houses were exceptions! This meant we never had to embark on the "dreaded potty training" in the conventional sense.

The great thing about EC is that it's not all or nothing as you can practice it part time. You don't have to start at birth either and can give it a go when you're ready. I definitely recommend EC as whether you're using cloth or disposable, the fewer nappies you get through the better!

So, in conclusion, real nappies were hard work, but very much worth it for us. I hope our story has given you an insight into how cloth nappies can work successfully. Do you have your own cloth nappy stories to share? Have been inspired to give reusables a go or use them more frequently? Using a combination of cloth and disposable still makes a huge difference and you could consider biodegradable if you have access to a composting facility.

If you've got a baby on the way and are concerned about the waste involved with disposables, I recommend using cloth nappies from day one. Having a new baby is intense, and it seems easier to start off using disposables with the intention of introducing cloth later on, but

making the change when you've got used to disposables can be hard. Start as you mean to go on (though ultimately, you're the only person who knows what works for your family!).

Jenny Cahill is an Exeter based mum to Leonor, 5 and Torben 3. She currently works for free and along with her domestic duties, she is also a professional jeweller, a dancer with Majidah Tribal Belly Dance and Glory of the West Morris and is attempting to live a zero waste lifestyle. Read more about her adventures on Instagram @greenjenny_moverandmake r

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Encouraging Children to Write.

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 19:33:51 GMT

For many children we now know that they will not go back to school this academic year. I've always believed that parents and carer's skills of educating their children have been over-looked by society, that learning is seen as a specialised area only achieved in the presence of qualified teachers. Teachers are very skilled (I'm one of them!) and do a fantastic job but the curriculum has been narrowed and focused on achieving targets for so long in a way that is causing worry right now for a lot of parents (and maybe teachers too). Concerns such as children "falling behind", "not being where they should be"' "missing an education" etc are common. I too have been deeply concerned about the difference between the amount of work set and sent via the internet to my children and the amount they have completed. I have had to battle with myself over this lots of times, I've had to stop following people online who are sharing their child's learning and even if they mentioned 'home schooling'. If this is you, this is not, of course because you are doing something wrong it's because it was triggering for me. It was playing on my insecurities. It was adding fuel to the fire that was burning inside of me making me feel inadequate because how could I not manage this situation when I can manage a class of 30 kids? So because we are clearly in this for the long run I have decided to put pen to paper (well actually tap away on my keyboard) and do two things
1. Reassure you that you are fab!
2. Share some practical ideas that I have found useful in the 20 years I have taught primary and early years and the 12 years I have been a parent.

So 1. You are doing a fab job. Remember that. At all times. You are doing what I am doing and every parent is doing. You are doing the best you can do within your circumstances and your unique family. Your child is exactly where they need to be right now in terms of academic success/learning etc. Children usually are exactly where they need to be. Adults (usually the education system, but there are other influences here) are the ones who decide what age a child 'should' be able to do something. This is made up! Of course it's made up, someone has decided this based on .... I'm not sure what exactly. Maybe averages (there's no such thing as an average child!). Children are not missing out on an education they are still learning. A child learns all the time. It is impossible to stop a child from learning (that doesn't mean children always learn what an adult wants them to - otherwise all children would actually be at the same level exactly if they have received the same standardised National Curriculum. This is not the case, all children had different strengths prior to this pandemic and still do). In many ways, for many children the quality of learning happening now is much better quality than it was when all children are in school because many children are within their own families, usually with a loving caregiver who knows the child much better than anyone else in the world! By this I don't mean teacher's don't do a fantastic job it's just that a parent knows the child best and learning can often happen better with the support of a loving parent or carer.

How you approach learning at this time with your child is going to be unique to you and to your unique child and your unique circumstances. I am not going to dwell, right now, on the numerous ways families are attempting this. You've probably chatted with friends about this and looked at people's posts online etc to have an idea. If you haven't, perhaps don't because it is tempting to compare and then feel guilty. I liken this feeling to when I had my first child. Things might have been going well at a particular time (in a kind of confused, sleep deprived I have no idea what I'm doing sort of way!) when I would rock up to a baby session or play group and chat with a parent, find out they were doing something different and I would feel like I needed to change everything and be like them! This feeling comes from a lack of confidence because as a new parent I (like many others) was pretty much out of my depth with no clue how to get back to the shallows. This is a similar to how many parents are feeling about education right now. That doesn't mean people shouldn't chat or share posts about their children's learning. However, it may be worth thinking about avoiding seeing exactly what others are doing if you are finding this triggers insecurities, comparisons and panic in you too! Until you can get to a place of confidence in what you are doing and how your child is learning (which, to be honest, in a global pandemic may never be 100% confidence) possibly use social media carefully in a way that is helpful but does not make you feel bad. That also means if this isn't useful because I am sharing ideas stop reading now! It might seem wierd I've decided to write this after describing my feelings however it came about after talking to a neighbour and realising there are lots of simple ideas I use that might be helpful to others. I've spent several weeks writing this, changing it and considering if this is a help or a hindrance. You decide. I like to think that I am not 'home schooling' my kids, sometimes we do a bit of 'emergency schooling' or 'distance learning'. However, mostly we learn or we be or we relax and we try to live the best we can in these tricky times. I follow my children's lead and let them decide how much work set by the school to complete and when to do it and around this we simply live the best we can.

So that leads me onto 2. Some practical ideas.
Please bear in mind these are some ideas that have been beneficial for my children or children I have taught in the past and they might create some learning for your child, they might not. That's the thing with children you can't actually predict what will be useful all the time (you know that already, of course). If this isn't useful don't follow the ideas. If you try something and your children aren't interested stop. This is not about forcing learning 'situations' on to children it's just a few ideas that might be useful. Some of them may even buy you 10 mins with a cuppa (but I'm not guaranteeing that!).

- In a tray or baking tray, sprinkle a little sand, flour or salt. Shake the tray so that there is a fine layer covering most of it. Then with a finger (or you can use a stick) draw, make marks or write words. This activity is suitable for children from around 2 years old to any age if they like it! We haven't done this for a while but my children (who are now 10 and 12) liked it last time we did it. If you want some curriculum links in terms of the EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage, from birth to age 60 months+) this support physical development (fine motor control) and possibly writing skills as well as most likely a whole host of other areas because that's how learning happens. It's rarely just one 'area' or 'subject' that is learnt at one time. In the past when my children (in KS1 or KS2) had lists of spellings to learn we sometimes used these trays to practice the spelling. If you want to start again with a 'blank' tray simply give it a gentle shake again. Once set up this might be one that buys you a little time. I'd suggest starting off playing with this with your child and then leaving it out for them to come back to. Outside is good but it isn't that messy on a kitchen table as you only need a small amount of flour, salt or sand (though of course it will go on the floor, flour coats clothes quite nicely and depending on the age of your child they might eat some of it!).

- A type-writer! I know you probably haven't got one or probably can't get one right now but I bought my 10 year old one from a charity shop just before they shut. This has been brilliant and she has loved typing away. Although you might not have a type writer you've probably got a computer, tablet or phone (otherwise how are you reading this!?). Kids often love to type away on a screen instead of picking up a pencil!
Another good thing to do (especially if they find typing difficult) is for them to come up with the ideas and you to be their scribe. The process of formulating ideas often comes really easy for children, kids tend to have fabulous imaginations. But the process of formulating these ideas into sentences, thinking about spelling and maybe punctuation is often quite off-putting. I remember clearly a year 5 child I taught who struggled getting pen to paper but wrote the most amazing poem when he said it out loud and I typed it on a computer. Of course, being a scribe means you can also model the correct spelling (or how to find it if you don't know how to spell a word) and the correct punctuation. Older children with their own phone are, obviously, writing every time they send a message.

- Writing for a purpose. Letter writing has been very popular in my house in the last few weeks for one child (but not the other). Delivering the letter to a friend who lives nearby has also given us a purpose for a walk (as would a walk to the post box for a friend or family member who lives further away).

-Shopping lists are another form of writing for a purpose. We have a piece of scrap paper blue-tacked to the inside of our kitchen cupboard, this is our family shopping list. The children can add whatever they want on the list. We have done this, not as an exercise in writing but because we believe children should have the right to make decisions about things that affect their life. It also came from the kids regularly asking us to buy some specific food item. I didn't like feeling that I was expected to remember their ideas so I set up this very simple system so they had a way of expressing what they would like. This doesn't mean you have to buy everything they write, I'll leave that judgement up to you and your budget. If they are asking for items that are too expensive this could lead to some valuable maths work on budgeting, living within our means, balancing everyone's wants and needs etc. Personally I have found my kids have been really sensible and add a few items now and again. The list photographed was just before my daughter's birthday where there are more items added to the list because she wanted to make her own birthday cake and plan her birthday tea.

- Reading. Either your child reading to themselves or looking through a book independently or you reading to your child (say at bedtime) or a relative video calling and reading to your child or an online resource with someone reading a book (our primary school has some members of staff doing this as a YouTube video) or there are some facebook pages . Reading and an enjoyment of books is, obviously, an important thing to develop in itself but it's also very important to develop writing skills. Writers are readers. Writers get lots of ideas from reading. Writers learn (in a natural way) about grammar and word choices through simply reading or hearing stories or poems or non-fiction books, or (age appropriate) newspaper articles or recipes, instructions, the ingredients in a box of cereal being read to them. All are equally valid, if they are of interest to your child.

- A writing area. This could be a desk. This could be a drawer. This could be a pot with a pencil in and a piece of paper next to it. Basically I'm saying if you can have a few resources available that your child can access they are more likely to write (though they might not). Things I keep are scraps of paper, a few sheets of printer paper, pieces of cardboard cut from cereal packets, old envelopes (that we can reuse), old cards (the front part cut off could become a postcard) and then sometimes I fold bits of paper into simple books.

- A notebook. Having their own notebook sometimes encourages writing in a way a piece of paper doesn't! Making one by stapling pieces of paper together, might work just as well. In the past this has encouraged story writing and drawing. More recently my children have watched YouTube videos and then written instructions and recipes from them into their note books to use later. Dancing and stretching has become popular since restrictions have been in place so the instructions are often on this theme and they then use them to practice techniques.

- Chalk. Kids often like to write (or draw) on a patio, drive or garden path.

- Add opportunities to write with things they like to play with. Examples include a shopping list (just a scrap of paper and a pencil) in amongst a play kitchen. Paper in the lego box (possibly for designing a model) etc.

-Magnetic letters sometimes create inspiration to create words when pen and paper doesn't. Suitable for any age. If you don't have magnetic letters you could write individual letters on scraps of paper and blue-tack them to the fridge. Alternatively if your child is learning specific phonemes (sounds) as set by school (probably if your child is in foundation, year 1 or possibly year 2) you could write these on paper or put them on the fridge with magnetic letters along with some other letters and see if your child chooses to play with them. For example, if your child has been sent work home and are learning say the 'ea' sound you could put this on the fridge with some other letters that create a word such as b, d for bead or s to make sea etc. They might play with them and not make words, that's fine. Older children might make their own word (possibly a rude one when they think no one is looking!).

-Spelling games including scrabble, boggle, bananagram, crosswords and wordsearches all can develop spelling skills if your child likes them.

This is no means the end of the list. The possibilities are, pretty much, endless. If you think your child might like them leave them out or offer to try the idea with them. If they inspire them to write, great! If not don't worry.
Please feel free to add any ideas you have got in the comments.

Thank you so much to my fantastic Patrons for supporting my blog. If you feel you could support me in creating blog posts, videos and social-media content check out my Patreon page.

Self-Care in Lockdown

Sun, 05 Apr 2020 12:09:37 GMT

Two weeks ago life changed dramatically. Restrictions were put in place meaning we have to stay home, schools are shut and we can only go out for food shopping or daily exercise with no certainty of when things will change. How do we handle such a strange time? Physical health is the reason for this situation; we are doing the very important job of stopping the spread of coronavirus, simply by staying home. It doesn’t sound that hard put like that but if you are in the same situation you’ll know that this is something that is difficult to get a handle on. I would also say this is a time when self-care is crucial. A term which often feels like it’s banded around as a luxury is indeed essential. Self-care looks different to everyone. I feel now is the time to tap into what helps you to look after you. You deserve and need it. However, it’s also crucial for the whole of society right now; you can’t be helpful to others if your mental health is in tatters.

For me, I have been in a kind of panic. How will I educate my children? How will we keep up with the high demands placed on us by their schools? Is my mum, dad, sister, brother, father-in-law, friends, neighbours, the lady I see walking alone past my house each day ok? How will my kids cope? Do they realise they might not be going back to school this academic year? Will they be able to maintain friendships? How will we be able to celebrate my youngest child’s 10th birthday this month? Is my husband able to cope with the demands of his job? What are we going to eat? Will we run out of food? Is it safe to go to the supermarket? Etc, etc, etc. Your mind may be doing something similar. I didn’t really think about this paragraph before typing so it became a kind of stream of consciousness and one thing that is clear is I am worrying about everyone, everyone except myself!

Two weeks in now and I have checked in with most of the people I know, we do have food in our cupboards, fridge and freezer. My kids seem settled. It’s time for some radical self-care! So yesterday, I worked (I actually find this very settling because for me it hasn’t actually changed that much) and I was then available for my kids if they needed anything, they didn’t so I gardened. I resisted the urge to find things for my kids to do. Social media is awash with online classes, ideas and activities. I’ve been truly inspired by how people have stepped up to provide these kind of services and people’s genuine desire to help others. For some of you this may be really valuable but my kids genuinely don’t need or want this right now so I am, pretty much, leaving them to their own devices this week (and maybe next, who knows). I am lucky they have each other and they are enjoying all this unstructured time and finding plenty to do. I am lucky I can let them; I can be at home and allow them to follow their interests. I believe they are also practicing radical self-care. Play is a way to process the world, something they need to do right now and they are truly immersed in play for much of the day (it worries me that this feels like a luxury they haven’t had enough of in their childhood). They aren’t choosing to go outside much; I’m currently letting them make that choice. I am trusting that they know what is best for them right now as I try to navigate what’s best for me.

So today there are plenty of things I could do: maybe start daily yoga, finish craft projects or declutter my wardrobe. There are plenty of things I might feel I should do like clean the house or try out a new recipe but although these things might appeal to others they don’t appeal to me. It’s not necessarily a time for productivity unless that makes your heart sing. It’s a time to genuinely be kind to yourself to do what helps and let the rest fall by the wayside. Maybe it’s a time when we will actually reinvent life, relationships with others and the world. I have a hope that this is the case but we don’t know. No one has been in this situation before, no one knows what is best for you but deep down you know what feels right and what nourishes your soul. I choose kindness and gentleness towards myself right now, I hope you can too x

Just to add, I realise I’ve written this from a place of privilege. I know I am in a bubble in my safe suburban home. I feel guilty that I am not better able to cope because I am not working in a hospital or a shop, I’m not a police officer or a carer and yet I find this situation incredibly hard. My gratitude goes out to key workers and my thoughts are with those who have a lot less than me. I have wondered whether I will actually publish this? Does my privilege undermine what I am saying? However, I have decided to share my thoughts. Feelings are valid whoever has them and none of us are truly feeling great right now.

Thank you so much to my fantastic Patrons including Nature and Nurture Baby Vitamins .

If you feel you could spare a pound (or more!) to support me in creating blog posts, videos and social-media content check out my Patreon page.

You might also like:
Do You Wear The Badge Of Busyness?

A Digital Detox

The 100 Tree Project

Sun, 02 Feb 2020 15:27:49 GMT

Is it possible to plant enough trees to become carbon neutral for one year?

At the start of last year, as many others did too, I fully woke up to the climate and ecological crisis. Ever since reading the IPCC report in October 2018 I knew that we were in a serious situation and that things have to change and fast. Prior to this I’d been aware of global warming, of course. It was taught in school as a theory that will affect the future, not something we need to be too concerned about and certainly without advice about how to act to minimise this. Of course writing about environmental issues I’d been aware of climate change for a while but still I wasn’t actioning much. If you’ve followed my work for a while you’ll know that I’ve focused a lot on physical waste, the waste I can see and have made significant reductions to this (we now fill only 2 wheelie bins each year as a family of 4). However, this is not enough. I still strongly believe it is important but I knew last year I needed to do more.

So, at the start of the year I calculated my carbon footprint using an online carbon calculator and found out that I was producing 7.4 tonnes of carbon each year. It’s a rough way to calculate this but it gave me something to go on. I then did a bit of reading as to how much carbon a single tree takes in. This is even more of a rough calculation but I wanted a goal as to how many trees I should personally plant to become carbon neutral. I came up with the figure of 100. This is not absolutely scientifically correct, to do that would involve a lot more work and probably have put me off completing this project.

So I can reveal in 2019 I planted 94 trees:

I have used the search engine Ecosia 1481 times. Ecosia plants a tree roughly every 45 searches so that’s 40 trees.

I bought 49 trees for me through Just One Tree (It’s this unrounded number as I bought one on behalf of my oldest daughter too).

I shopped at Boobalou , an online eco-friendly shop, twice. They plant one tree per order so that’s 2 trees.

I paid for our Christmas tree to stay living in a field all year by buying a living tree from Christmas Trees For Life – The Family Tree = 1 Tree.

As a Christmas gift I received a tree dedication from the Woodland Trust = 1 tree

I left our buddleia in the garden and let it grow and grow and it became a tree! 1 tree

I scattered tree seeds like acorns, picking them up when they fell on the pavement and placing them on grass verges, especially the bits with bare soil. Of all the apples I have eaten nearly all of the cores has been put under my hedge. Birds have eaten them and potentially deposited the seeds all over town! I have also thrown cherry stones and pear cores around in the garden! 0 trees? It’s hard to know the impact of this but it’s likely I’ve got something growing by my seed scattering antics! However, I haven't counted this in my total.

I feel bad to admit I haven’t really got my hands dirty doing this, however, it shows just how easy it is to plant trees!

Alongside this I continued to make changes to actually reduce the amount of carbon I produced. I did this by:

Continuing my waste reducing mission! By buying unpackaged food I am creating less carbon; all packaging creates a carbon footprint.

Reducing the amount of dairy I eat. I have been a vegetarian for 27 years, this diet has a lower carbon footprint already compared to a diet including meat. However, dairy has a higher carbon footprint than plants. I now nearly always have a plant-based breakfast, often have a plant-based lunch and sometimes have a plant-based dinner. I have mostly stopped putting milk in my tea (as an avid tea-drinker this was a big, yet surprisingly simple swap! Who knew tea tastes better without milk!). This means that my carbon footprint is probably a bit less than I calculated (yippee!)

We have gone down to one vehicle for our family. This has encouraged us to walk more and use public transport more (again this has meant my carbon footprint is a bit less than calculated).

With all these changes plus the planting of 94 trees, I am happy to declare that last year I was probably just about carbon neutral! Is this enough? No! We need to be carbon zero. We need systematic changes. Individuals can not do this alone we need governments around the world to act now. Last year I was involved with two Extinction Rebellion protests and marched as part of the Global Climate Strike in September. I have also helped to distribute the Hourglass, a newspaper written by Extinction Rebellion and I have challenged and supported local schools to do more. I have posted extensively about climate change on my social media. Reducing carbon emissions is a crucial element in the book I wrote last year 52 Tips to Reduce Waste . I have talked about climate change in conversations to friends, family in fact whenever it comes up in conversation in a way I have never done before. So the 100 tree project has been a success but I’m still creating carbon emissions, you are still creating carbon emissions, almost every person is damaging the planet with carbon. We need to keep planting trees and we need significant systematic changes.

Just so you know this is NOT a sponsored post. I have put links to companies I used in case you want to find out more about them. I do some freelance work for Boobalou but I also shop with them as a customer.

Thank you so much to my fantastic Patrons including Nature and Nurture Baby Vitamins .

If you feel you could spare a pound (or more!) to support me in creating blog posts, videos, social-media content and spreading the eco-friendly message into schools and community groups check out my Patreon page.

For more ways to reduce your carbon footprint check out my ebook "52 Tips To Reduce Waste."

Baked Bean and Vegetable Soup

Tue, 27 Aug 2019 18:53:31 GMT

This recipe was created and written by my 9 year old daughter. It might be a good way to encourage baked bean loving kids to eat a vegetable soup! However our whole family loved it! This was created with the contents of our fridge on the particular day (all plastic-free and seasonal) and the baked beans added at the end as the flavour was very oniony without them!

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

. Half an onion, cut into small pieces
. 1 carrot, peeled and cut into small pieces
. Half a leek, cut into small pieces
. 1 clove of garlic, crushed
. 1 teaspoon of mixed herbs
. About a pint of boiling water
. 1 stock cube
. 1 can of baked beans

WHAT TO DO:

1. Put the onion and the garlic in a pan and cook until the onion is soft.

2. Add the leek, leave until soft.

3. Mix the stock and boiling water together.

4. Add the carrot into the pan.

5. Add the boiling water and stock mix to the pan.

6. Add the mixed herbs to the pan.

7. Blend the soup (if you don’t want whole baked beans in you soup add the baked beans now then blend).

8. Add the baked bean and leave to cook for a few minutes.

9. Serve the soup up to your family (the soup tastes nice with bread or on its own, you decide).

Let us know in the comments if you give this recipe a go!

Thank you so much to my fantastic Patrons including Nature and Nurture Baby Vitamins .

A Digital Detox

Sat, 23 Mar 2019 16:01:57 GMT

Is it time you tried a tech-free day?

A few Sunday’s ago I had a #digitaldetox – but I still wrote this post! I went all old-school and used a pen and paper instead of typing directly into my phone! I’ve been thinking I ought to do this again for a while (the only other times were my birthday weekend last year and for most of the time when on holiday in Italy). Late to social media – I only really started engaging in Facebook just over 2 years ago when I started Rhubarb and Runner Beans - it has now become part of my daily life. I'm also on Instagram , Twitter , Patreon and YouTube . I love it and I am not saying it’s a bad thing but it can take over. Do you find that?

Initially as I started to find more and more inspiring Facebook pages and groups I lapped it up! It was so refreshing to find an online community that reflected my ideas and attitudes. I then fell foul of the “aimless scroll” – you know when you aren’t even reading just looking and searching, you know in case you miss something good! I’ve almost eliminated this ‘just keep scrolling, just keep scrolling behaviour’. Usually I quickly stop myself when I feel that familiar, constant swiping of the screen!

I tend now to mostly use social media to share and write, I love expressing my thoughts. Seeing the reactions and reading the comments is part of it. I know if no one read I’d have stopped writing by now. When a notification appears, I’m not going to lie, I get a little buzz of happiness. By reading and responding to comments I have grown – in confidence (when people are positive), in resilience (if people are unkind – this is very rare), in terms of my adventure towards eco-friendly living etc. But quickly I fell foul to the constant checking. Do I have any notifications? I’ll just check! I better respond IMMEDIATELY, It’ll help boost my post, get a conversation going etc. I’ve also fallen foul to the daily posting – my page will drop-off people’s newsfeeds if I don’t! I like to write so I write a post. But then I need to check and respond! This can all take a lot of time and I’ve realised sometimes I am doing it because of a ‘should’ feeling rather than a conscious choice. So this feels like negative behaviour. Lucy Aitken Reed from Lulastic Hippyshake posted a video recently about internet addiction. It got me thinking – I even felt quite unsettled by it! I then read in the last edition of The Green Parent magazine the article ‘How and Why to have a Digital Detox’ so it felt I was being pushed and pulled in this direction.

Sunday seemed the perfect day to start (and the day after these thoughts) so I decided to give it a go. It started, as usual, with my husband bringing me a cup of tea in bed. I normally check my notifications (I know – I feel terrible!) and write a Sundayish post – self-care, connecting with nature, #slowsunday being the normal theme. Instead I had a conversation with my husband!

I have to admit (with the risk of damaging my already low street-cred!) I’m a fan of watching the repeat of Country File on a Sunday morning. I asked my husband to check on his phone what time it was on – as I wasn’t allowed!! After watching this with the kids and some more tea accompanied with toast I started the RSPB “Big Garden Watch” which they run one weekend per year. I enter the results online – the more zero-waste option (I don’t need a paper form). It seems this digital detox is going to be tricky! I decide to go online –just for this. As soon as I turn my Wi-Fi on two messages beep from messenger, I don’t open them and turn off Wi-Fi after my hour long bird watch.

The night before this detox I made a list of possible things to do so I consult the list and do a bit of making – a lining (made from a worn out dress) for a white basket I’ve bought. I’m going to use it to store make-up and I don’t want to ruin it. I declutter a bit whilst looking through my fabric and my endless sewing supplies.

After lunch, I read a chapter from my book (I definitely would normally check notifications). I go back to the book ‘The Artist’s Way’ which I have dipped into but not followed up with many of the tasks. I complete two. Then I feel compelled to write. So I write this. It was meant to be a Facebook post but has clearly turned into a blog post now! If I’d written it straight on to social media I would have probably condensed my thoughts into a more acceptable length for others to read whilst scrolling through their newsfeed. I obviously have a need to write so I haven’t changed that (and don’t want to!). I choose instead to type this up another day meaning I will leave notification checking and responding to comments for another day too! Don’t stop commenting though. I do still love reading them. I just need to have some time away too. A time to gather my own thoughts and not be influenced by the thoughts of others; a time to focus on other things in life.

My kids are currently playing Top Trumps, I am going to take on the winner. I might then actually make some oat milk – I’ve only ever done this once but never got round to doing it again, despite the intention. I never seem to find (make) time! Then perhaps another chapter of my book before a family meal out.

I know I’ll look forward to getting back to the online world tomorrow but I’m wondering about making every Sunday tech-free. What about you, do you ever have a digital detox?

Thank you so much to my fantastic Patrons including Finding My Eco and Nature and Nurture Baby Vitamins .

I’m currently trying to carve out some dedicated time for promoting eco-friendly living and particularly getting involved with schools and other community groups. If you feel you could spare a pound or so each month to support me in achieving this check out my Patreon page.

Do you wear the badge of busyness?

Wed, 06 Feb 2019 11:45:46 GMT

What is it about parenthood that makes being busy an essential part of every conversation? Of course I understand from the first moment you become a parent life changes forever and having more to do is part of the difference. For a while (okay for quite a long time!) life with a newborn baby does revolve around the endless feeding and nappy changes. However the obsession with busyness continues long after children are weaned and out of nappies. I understand life is more hectic, I feel it too. I spent a long time being overwhelmed with life, just struggling through trying to meet my small child’s needs, forgetting my own and only just getting by. Most days felt hard, almost impossible, with every small task feeling like a mammoth undertaking as I tried to cope with sleep deprivation, self-doubt and a never ending fog.

Thankfully, now my children are older I have found that on most days the fog has lifted and I can attempt things I could only dream of with tiny children. Writing being the biggie but also popping to the shops becomes more like a ‘pop’ than an expedition, I can cook tea without a having a small child on my hip and I have some spare time I can call my own. I know I am lucky this isn’t the same for everyone with children at school; some of you are working constantly and still never have a moment’s peace. My children are now aged 10 and 8 and I love to chat to other parents, barely a day goes by when I don’t chat in the playground or while queuing to buy milk in the shop near school. The conversation goes something like this “What are you doing today?”, “Well there is the food shopping and then I need to hang out the washing, iron the school shirts, clean the bathroom and cook a cottage pie before I pick the kids up from school!” I get it there’s a lot to do and everyone’s idea of what HAS to be completed is different. But I’m just wondering how many of you are wearing the badge of busyness? I’m totally not saying you are not busy but could you ever say “Well I’m going home, putting the kettle on, watching TV then maybe a walk in the woods and then I need to pick the kids up from school”? Or “On Saturday the children are going to watch 2 films whilst I sit and read this fantastic novel I have just borrowed from the library”? I suppose what I am saying is, are you really so busy this is what life has to be like or are you choosing to be busy because you think that’s what you should be doing?

I know before I had children I never sat in the staffroom on a Friday lunchtime discussing laundry with my colleagues. Although, of course I washed my clothes and the laundry basket (because I didn’t have one I just chucked my dirty clothes into a plastic bag) wasn’t constantly over-flowing! I would never have thought this sort of topic was conversation-worthy! But bang as soon as I gave birth suddenly that was a normal chat and continues to be that way. I reckon part of this is habit, we’ve become consumed by drudgery and the other part of this is guilt. As a mother (do any dads feel like this, I’d love to find out) society seems to still make us feel like we have to be concerned with domesticity that we can’t possibly not care less about how clean the carpet is we have to guiltily say “Well yes do come in for a coffee but excuse the crumbs/dog hair/mud/crayons/random bits of paper/lego bricks on the carpet.” As if our friends would think less of us because we don’t live in a beautiful ‘catalogue’ home. I love interior design but what I love more is visiting a messy house, it makes me feel happy when I go home, rather than guilty! I think the people who live there must have an interesting life. Why have we not shaken this sense of perfection so hard it has broken into tiny pieces (like the tissue left in the washing machine – thank goodness I use hankies now!)? This is 2019 we don’t need this. We need happy, full lives, filled with as much joy, purpose and self-care as is possible. Perhaps we have forgotten what life is really about!

The knock on effect, I have found, of finding out friends are going to spend their day cleaning and tidying is that I feel I should be cleaning and tidying as well! Even though I know I need to rest and drink tea! It keeps the feelings of motherhood = perfect home (or at least fairly clean) going in our society because after all we are the society; we help to create it or continue societal norms.

I know this isn’t big, changing the world kind of stuff (and I have been very guilty of talking about laundry, just so you know!) but I think these everyday small interactions can help perpetuate the status quo. I know there is so much more out there I could worry about (and trust me, I do! Are my children spending too long on a screen? Can we ever reverse the affects of plastic pollution? Do my children spend enough time in nature? Will people think I’m crazy writing this?). I know I am writing from a place of privilege just talking about this instead of worrying about where my next meal will come from or how I will pay the rent. I guess I am saying if you enjoy this busyness, if it creates fire in your belly and meaningfulness then be true to yourself and continue. However, if you are endlessly talking about how much you need to do and really you would be much happier having beans on toast for tea whilst wearing crumpled clothes surrounded by a stack of laundry then please rip off your badge of busyness (well maybe take it off carefully so as not to add more to your mending pile!) and use your time to listen to some music, write a poem, watch the rain drip down the window pane, have a snooze or whatever you need to do. We need a world in which everyone has their needs met, not just children, parents as well. You owe it to yourself to grab the opportunities for joy or simply rest when they come around and we owe it to our children. If our needs are met we can better connect with our kids and be a parent who is present and not constantly stressed and running around ticking off their to-do list. We owe it to our daughters. I’m not just talking to mother’s of daughters here, it also applies to mother’s of sons. What our children see us doing is what they will expect to do as a mother or will expect to see from a future partner. So choose well. By all means show them how to organise, work hard, have pride in their home but show them how to have fun, meet their own needs or maybe just to prioritise the lazy option from time to time.

Is it just me, living in my little suburban bubble in Devon or do you experience this parental curse of ‘busyness’? Just to note, if you know me please still talk to me in the playground we don’t need to debate the big questions in life at 9am, I’m just saying if your plan for the weekend is to drink endless cups of tea that’s fine with me, I’ll probably be attempting that too!

Thank you so much to my fantastic Patrons including Finding My Eco and Nature and Nurture Baby Vitamins .

I’m currently trying to carve some dedicated time for promoting eco-friendly living (not just tea- drinking, I promise!). If you feel you could spare a pound or so each month check out my Patreon page.

Why bother going outside in winter?

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Thu, 17 Jan 2019 19:29:59 GMT

It’s part 2 of my #weatherpositiveparent campaign. I chose winter to kick this off because it is the time of year that many people don’t like going outside and put off a lot of things until the weather gets warmer. However, in some respects, it’s easier to get outside in winter! You know it will be cold, you know you will need your coat and if you bring along a hat and gloves you will be perfectly prepared for most of the Great British weather. There’s no applying suncream, needing gallons of water to combat dehydration or seeking the shade, just cosy up and off you go! With the daylight in short supply a regular dose of the outside is, possibly, more important at this time of year than any other. Still not convinced? Read on and find out my top reasons for getting outside in winter:

1. It makes me happy!

If I don’t go outside regularly (and for me this means most days) I feel all ‘out of sorts’ and not quite right in the world! It’s a simple yet important reason. If it works for me it might work for you too! How often do you go outside? Could an increase in outside time increase your happiness?

2. Getting outside connects us with nature.

Even in cities and towns there is nearly always a chance to connect with the natural world: the daffodils slowly pushing their way through the soil, the bird song or a beautiful sunset. I think this connection with nature helps with point 1, happiness. When you take time to notice the natural world and to feel this awe and wonder in what’s happening all around us it is good for the soul. If we do this regularly and observe the seasonal changes that are taking place slowly as we attend to the rest of our life, it is grounding, we can see how fantastic and incredible nature is and this rhythmn of seasonal change can help to set the rhythm in our own life with a comfort and certainty that can be lacking in other areas.

Without this connection with nature we can’t really expect people to want to protect it. You have to feel part of nature and not separate to it to truly feel compelled to make a change. Sure people, generally, do things such as recycling but this doesn't necessarily mean connection. Perhaps they have to recycle because their council no longer collects the rubbish bin weekly. This is a way to ensure people limit their environmental impact. But how many disconnected people recycle (because they have to) but then leave rubbish by an over-flowing bin, flush cotton buds down the toilet or don’t think twice about using another single-use coffee cup? I’m not saying we have to be perfect (no-one is) but true protection of the planet is driven by those with a true connection with nature. With climate change predicted to cause catastrophic consequences and plastic killing animals and now known to be present within the human body we need people (ideally everyone) to link their actions to the consequences and this happens when we realise we are part of nature.

3. Children enjoy being outside and need to be connected to nature too!

As I wrote in my article I Think I’ve found my parenting style , children learn and aspire to be part of the adult world be observing and mimicking adults. They also can sniff out a faker with ease! If you pretend to like running in the rain but really hate it, they’ll know. If you say they can’t have a fruit drink in a single-use plastic bottle but then buy yourself a plastic bottle of cola they’ll see through this. Again, I’m not asking for perfection, a lot of time our choices are reliant on what’s available to us and supermarkets and manufacturers are proving very slow to get on board. However, if we live an authentic life based on our values, if we show our children we’re not perfect but we know, for instance, sitting outside in the garden is good for our mental health (though we might sometimes not be able to achieve this) our children will take this message in. This does not necessarily mean my kids are always outside or that yours will be too. To be honest, mine like being inside and rarely choose to venture into the garden in winter but they can if they want to and when they do get outside they enjoy it. They do feel the happiness I describe when being outside. They can identify some plants and animals and they show some connections with nature such as moving a snail off the path so it doesn’t get stood on and pointing out squirrels on the fence or a robin on the bird feeder. We need our children to be happy. They are the next generation of change-makers, many are already raising environmental awareness and forcing through changes in policies and I would put money on it that these are the children who get outside regularly!

4. Nature connects people .

I don’t want to demonise technology here, but it is easy to live in a house with other people but to live quite separately and owning several electronic devices does encourage isolated activities. In our household we own 2 smart phones, 2 tablets, an i-pod and a laptop (as well as 2 TV’s). I’d hazard a guess that your household is probably fairly similar. We can easily sit in separate rooms tapping away on our technology. Even when unplugged from technology we can live separately, the kids might play lego whilst I cook a meal, everyone loves to read and we often sit in separate rooms to do this. Time alone is fine (we need it) but we also need time together. Getting outside can be a way to connect as a family. I have memories of walking in the woods as a child with my family, and we can easily make these memories for our children. If we sit on a beach together, walk to school or are all out in the garden, it’s likely that some of that time will be spent talking and connecting with each other. Obviously this can happen in loads of other ways too (a meal together, a car journey, cooking together etc.) but being outside is another strategy to keep a busy family connected.

5. Nature is Medicine.

Doctors in Scotland are now prescribing nature to reduce blood pressure, improve pain control, anxiety and depression. As well as improving conditions nature can also be preventative. I have learnt, myself, to recognise when my mood is lowering and my coping strategies are failing and to take myself off for a dose of nature (a walk by the sea is particularly beneficial for me). Being outside can also help to prevent winter germs and bugs getting you! I still hear people saying they will catch a cold because it’s cold when actually you catch colds from other people! Staying inside where you are more likely to be closer to people (and germs have a nice enclosed area to stay in) is more likely to make you ill!

6. Being outside encourages exercise.

You don’t necessarily have to be active outside, I love a mug of hot tea sat in my garden but I might then just potter around and do a little bit of gardening whilst I’ve still got my coat on. Put most kids outside and they move and run and play in a way they can’t easily do inside. I love to walk and I then get exercise thrown in. What about you, is there a form of exercise or activity you like to do because it’s outside?

Getting outside in winter is just as (if not more) important than the rest of the year. It takes very little preparation (just put on your coat) but might reward you and your children with happiness, a connection with nature and a healthier life. As well as potentially creating a more environmentally aware nation. So what are you waiting for, out you go! Need more inspiration of what to actually do outside? Part 3 of my Weather Positive campaign starts this week on my social media platforms with plenty of ideas and inspiration for getting outside. Follow along using the hashtag #weatherpositiveparent and share what you are doing outside this winter.

Thank you so much to my fantastic patrons including www.natureandnurture.life and www.findingmyeco.wordpress.com for supporting my work. Because of them my blog is fully funded and you don’t have to see random adverts when reading my blog posts. My goal is to be able to carve out some dedicated time for 'Rhubarb and Runner Beans' work. I've been recently asked to be involved in some projects promoting eco-friendly living but I'm unsure if I can commit to them as I need to respond to paid job opportunities (currently, supply teaching). If I could set aside time (by increasing the number of patrons I have) I could then commit to making more of a difference within the wider community (and possibly beyond). If you feel you can help me achieve this have a look at my Patreon page. You can become a Patron for as little as $1 a month (it's US$ but any currency can be used) there are lots of rewards and patron-only posts as a thank you for supporting my work.

Can a positive attitude towards the weather increase well-being?

Tue, 08 Jan 2019 11:24:03 GMT

Take my Weather Positive challenge and find out.

January is often a time people find difficult; Christmas and New Year celebrations have been a focus for a long time and now it's all over it's quite a wait until spring begins to appear. So my #weatherpositiveparent campaign plans to address elements of well-being by putting a positive spin on January and increase engagement with nature by taking this positivity outside from time to time. I'm aiming it at parents so there's a ripple-effect to children too but lots of the ideas will be suitable for everyone. It is a four week campaign with each week having a distinct focus. However, most of these ideas can be applied any time of the year so if you're reading this later in the year pick out what suits you and see if the use of positive language about the weather has a positive impact.

This post is all about: Positive Language. How often do you hear people talk about the weather in a negative way: "It's horrible today", "What miserable weather" etc. There are a range of challenges with the suggestion you complete them over a week going on to the next the following day or take a couple of days to embed it before moving on.

CHALLENGE 1: notice your inner dialogue of negativity about the weather and notice when other's say it too. That's it! I know for me that changing this negative language has had a massive impact on how I viewed autumn last year and I think it could equally apply to winter; I want you to feel a change too. I think we can manage our well-being better as a society and sometimes it is the simple things that count.

Challenge 2: is to utter no negative words about the weather! If you're about to say "What a miserable day" Stop. Say nothing or say something neutral e.g. "It's cloudy today".

Challenge 3: Use positive language about the weather. I have had some help with this from some of the fantastic people who follow my Facebook page.

Rainy Days:
- Talk about how the rain helps things grow.
- "Thank you rain for washing our car"
- "The rain feels nice and cool"
- "We can easily dry off when we get home".

Cloudy Days:
- "Look at how beautiful those clouds are"

Windy Days:
- "Look at the trees dancing in the wind!"

Cold Days:
- "It's so cosy in my warm coat"

CHALLENGE 4: Create an activity specifically for the weather (again thanks to my lovely Facebook followers for some of the suggestions). During this week you don't actually have to go outside! Being outside will be a focus during week 3 of the challenge. This challenge is to fit your activities around the weather (or even to be inspired by the weather) rather than not doing things because of the weather or feeling negative because it's raining. This doesn't mean, of course, that you can't go outside (some of the suggestions take place outside) but many are inside activities or could be a suggestion for children.

Rain
- "It's a puddle splashing day!"
- Point out the raindrops chasing each other down the window pane. As a child I use to pick two rain drops and see which one won by getting to the bottom of the window first!
- Walk in the rain and enjoy the peace and quiet, they'll most likely be less people having a walk.
- Listen to the sound of the rain on the roof or the window.
- Watch the rain splashing in a bird bath, a pond or a puddle.
- Don't say "You can't go outside it's raining" say "Put on your coat before you go outside, it's raining".

Cloud
- Look for shapes in the cloud
- Create a specific play list for cloudy weather e.g. moody, dramatic music that reflects the weather rather than trying to contrast the weather with 'sunny' music.

Wind
- "It's a kite-flying day!"
- Do kids still walk around with their coats held above their heads trying to be blown around by the wind? I haven't seen this for ages but used to spend ages doing this as a child. How about we revive this!?

Cold
- "It's so cosy and warm by the fire"
- "Let's cosy up and watch a film"
- When it's cold enough to see your breath, children often love to pretend to be dragons or a steam train!

Winter Darkness
- Enjoy the chance to see the sun rising and setting everyday. There are some beautiful skies in the winter and we're always awake to see them!
- Look at the moon each night, possibly even chart the waxing and waning.
- On a clear night look out for the stars. If you have small children they might not see a dark sky in the summer so now's the time to make the most of it.

Let me know how you get on with the challenge . Did you stay positive about the weather? Did it make any difference to your wellbeing? Do you have any other suggestions?
The next part of my weather positive parent campaign is about why being outside is good for you and for children. Follow on social media using #weatherpositiveparent or read Why Bother Going Outside in Winter?

Thank you so much to my fantastic patrons including www.findingmyeco.wordpress.com and www.natureandnurture.life for supporting my work. Because of them my blog is fully funded and you don’t have to see random adverts when reading my blog posts. My goal is to be able to carve out some dedicated time for blog posts instead of having to squeeze them around the rest of family and working life. If you feel you can help me achieve this have a look at my Patreon page. You can become a Patron for as little as $1 a month (it's US$ but any currency can be used) there are lots of rewards and patron-only posts as a thank you for supporting my work.

I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas!

Fri, 09 Nov 2018 16:54:52 GMT

Updated: 03 Nov 2021 and 11 Nov 2024

The season of goodwill can extend to the planet, here’s my eco-friendly Christmas gift guide.

My thoughts are turning to Christmas (well a few of them! I don’t like thinking about it too early but I don’t like a full-on PANIC!!) so I figured some of you would be thinking about it too. Christmas can be joyful, fun and a way to spoil loved ones but it is also usually wasteful and quite frankly over-indulgent and decadent! So how can we make it eco-friendly but not dampen everyone’s Christmas cheer? This is what I do:

Presents

My 7R's approach ( Refuse, Reduce Reuse, Repair, Rot, Recycle , Return) which I use to be a conscious consumer all year round can be applied to Christmas shopping. So the first step is to refuse! I’m not going to buy the things I don’t need (or that I don’t think other people need!). So, I plan to refuse to buy stocking fillers, gimmicky presents that create a ‘laugh’ but have no real use (more on that in this excellent article ) and I will not be buying lots just for the sake of it (Bah humbug! Reduce is a great eco-friendly option!). I will buy presents people have specifically asked for, e.g. I was shopping with my mum the other day and she saw something she liked and asked me to get it for her for Christmas, my kids will probably come up with a Christmas list and my husband hates surprises so he will point me in the right gift-buying direction for him. For those people who don’t know what they want, don’t want to ask or prefer surprises I will refuse to buy over-packaged gifts and look for eco-friendly options. Here are some of my ideas and examples of presents I’ve bought in the past:

- Books

- Magazine subscriptions

- Clothes, jewellery, a scarf or a bag; how about something second-hand or ethically produced?

- Plastic-free chocolate, look for foil-wrapped Santas or bars of chocolate packaged in cardboard and foil. Alternatively, how about seeking out an independent chocolatier such as Chococo they sell beautiful, ethical chocolates all in 100% plastic-free packaging.

- Food e.g. jars of chutney, jam etc. These could be put together into a hamper

- Wine, whiskey, gin etc. (you get the idea! Even better if it's from a local company)

- Things people need e.g. vegetable seeds for a keen gardener. I bought a palette knife and cooling rack for my daughter who loves to bake.

- Shop gift vouchers

- An experience e.g. my daughter might get a trip to the climbing wall as a present.

- An item to help them be eco-friendly such as a reusable coffee cup, bamboo cutlery or pretty hankies but only if they actually need them and are going to use them!

- Make something e.g. last year we made a zero-waste cake mix. You know the ones where all the dry ingredients are nicely layered in a jar? We made this for my father-in-law who often buys cake mix to make with the grandchildren. Reusing a jar and ribbon and buying the ingredients unpackaged or plastic-free made this an eco-friendly option.

- A charity donation e.g. Oxfam sells unwrapped gifts such as Safe water for a family of four or Education for a child. I know my children would love to adopt an animal , I’m thinking of a polar bear or a tiger NOT a pet!

- My ebook makes the perfect zero waste Christmas present! It's a week by week guide full of information, instructions, simple swaps, achievable ideas and recipes (such as crisps, deodorant and bread). Each week, for a year, there's a new tip towards a low-waste lifestyle, all based on my experience of being a parent in a family of 4. We have reduced our rubbish to 1 wheelie bin every 6 months and lowered our impact on the planet.

If you are buying brand new items, supporting a local business or craft-maker will help to keep carbon emissions lower and give the local economy a boost. Sometimes presents I buy are new but often I choose to reuse by buying in charity shops or even regift something I’ve got that’s in good condition but I don’t need and I think the recipient would like it (I’ve done this with books, for example). I went shopping the other day and bought presents for nieces, my nephew and my children from a charity shop. All good quality books and toys that can be reused and then some might even be returned to a charity shop one day!

Other people have written some brilliant blog posts about present buying, so here are two of my favourites:

47 Christmas Gifts That can Change the World

Giving The Gift Of Time This Christmas

Gift-wrapping

The most sustainable way to wrap presents is to use what you've already got. We keep paper and gift bags and use them again and again until they are completely worn out. At Christmas when all those presents have been unwrapped (in next to no time!), I sit later in the day or on Boxing Day and throw any plastic tape in the bin, roll up paper that can be reused ready for next year, keep ribbon and even some gift tags, they can be stuck on a card to be repurposed back into Christmas cards! This might sound like hard work! However, I don’t think it really is compared to trailing round shops each Christmas stocking up on paper, ribbon and gift tags. The sorting can be done in the comfort of your own home (with your favourite Christmas tipple – if you like!) and saves money too!

We also have some reusable cloth bags, pieces of fabric and scarves we use and reuse for gift-wrapping. You could also use brown paper from parcels, children's art work, newspaper or pages from magazines to wrap presents. Have a look around your home and see what you could repurpose .

If you do need to buy wrapping paper, look for rolls of paper that are not wrapped in plastic and are labelled recyclable . These have, thankfully, become quite common place now. Avoid all paper with glitter (as pretty as it is, glitter is lots of tiny bits of plastic!) and any ‘metallic’ paper. Neither of these types of paper are recyclable whereas wrapping paper which is actually just paper is recyclable (but you could save it to reuse instead!). To secure the paper I use ribbon I’ve kept from gifts we’ve been given (I’ll be refusing to buy any more) or paper tape that’s completely biodegradable. I refuse to buy gift tags and instead make them from old Christmas cards and ribbon.

Cards

Some people don’t send them, that’s the most eco-friendly option. However, I like to as it’s a way of keeping in touch and a tradition I tend to enjoy. Last year I sent very few as I was feeling totally overwhelmed. To protect my mental health I pared this task down massively (sorry if I took you off my Christmas card list, it wasn’t personal!). Anyway, I plan to send cards this year. I will have some left over from last year, we might make some (we have old Christmas cards and gift tags we might reuse ) or I will buy them plastic-free. It is possible to buy them in cardboard, you have to shop around, but they are out there! Again no glitter and reuse or recycle them after Christmas.

So could you refuse , reduce, reuse , regift and repurpose in preparation for Christmas? I’d love to know your thoughts and ideas, feel free to share them in the comments.

Just so you know the links on this blog post are NOT affiliated links (though I am clearly promoting my own ebook!) I’m simply sharing ideas and mentioning companies, charities and blogs I like.

Thank you so much to my fantastic patrons for supporting my work. Because of them my blog is fully funded and you don’t have to see random adverts when reading my blog posts. My goal is to be able to carve out some dedicated time for blog posts instead of having to squeeze them around the rest of family and working life. If you feel you can help me achieve this have a look at my Patreon page (this could even be a Christmas present to yourself or someone else as all patrons have access to rewards and exclusive posts!).

Further Reading: How I reduced our rubbish to (almost) nothing (well about a 10th full every 3 weeks, but that's not so catchy!!)

Available as a PDF. Readable on any smart phone, tablet or computer.

£3 for over 120 pages of text and colour photographs showing what real life low-waste looks like.
Book published in 2019.
Buy here!

Eco-friendly fashion, switch fast fashion to sustainable style in 6 easy steps.

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 11:00:29 GMT

I've started following the same principles I use for keeping rubbish out of my bin to clothing! Fast fashion may be affordable but it comes with a huge environmental cost. Water pollution, toxic chemicals and textile waste are some of the ways clothing can impact negatively on the environment. But most of us value fashion (to a greater or lesser extent) feeling better (or even fabulous!) if we look good and everyone actually wears clothes! So how do the eco-conscious clothe themselves and their family? This is what I do:

Refuse

When I write and talk about zero-waste 'refuse' is the first and main thing I concentrate on. Simply put, if I don't need it or want it I refuse it! Shopping is voting and as consumers we can (and do) influence companies, if no-one buys it they won't sell it! But how do you refuse clothing? What I have started to do is to refuse the clothing that I do not consider to be environmentally sound. So my main 'refuse' is new clothing. To make a new item it requires lots of resources to produce the fabric, turn it into clothing, package it and transport it to a shop.

I do still buy some new clothing but I'm trying to focus on the fabrics that are used and refuse synthetics (that actually shed plastic particles when washed). I've bought three items of new clothing for myself so far this year. Out of these three items two were made of organic cotton like the top above. It was more expensive (though it was in the sale) but as I'm buying a lot less overall I'm spending less on clothes than I used to. One item was underwear, predominantly made of organic cotton, although I am becoming more and more of a crusty hippy I still require my knickers to be new! The other item was a waterproof coat, it is super stylish (in my eyes) and will take me through autumn, spring and summer and I maybe able to layer it with a thick jumper underneath for winter. It has no particular eco-credentials other than it is good quality and I expect it to last, several years at least.

By refusing new clothing (in the main) I have spent around £190 in total in high street clothes shops so far this year (from January to the end of September).

Reduce

By refusing to buy new clothing I have naturally reduced the amount of clothing I have bought. Less is best when it comes to reducing the negative impact of clothing on the environment. Even companies boosting eco-friendly credentials have an impact. Everything we do has an environmental impact so by reducing the amount of clothing I have bought I have reduced my negative impact.

So, I have only been buying clothes when I really need them and keeping hold of clothing I still like. This means some of my clothes are really old! One of my oldest pieces is a cardigan which I bought when I lived in Australia, I've been back in England for 13 years now! I thought it was pretty 'vintage' until I posted about this on Facebook and found many people who follow my page have clothing that they've owned a long time and still wear. The oldest item was a 1960's crocheted poncho worn by Debbie Young-Somers during a camping trip this summer. Wow, I was really impressed at how many people value what clothing they already own, I guess it doesn't necessarily mean they don't buy more but by using what we have got it can help to reduce consumption.

Reuse

There are so many clothes that already exist in the world that we can just keep swapping them around amongst ourselves rather than buying new! With a huge stock of reusable fashion the need to buy new is reduced so making it easy to refuse new clothes and choose to reuse.

I mostly buy from charity shops but also kindly get given some clothing for me and nearly all the clothing for my kids. Then, of course, I pass it on to others (friends with younger children or charity shops). It's a win, win, win!! A bargain for me, charities get supported and the planet breathes a sigh of relief as few resources are needed to reuse clothes!

It takes a bit more time (in a way) to shop like this. I have a list of what clothes I need, this includes currently: blue denim jeans and ankle boots. I can then focus my attention on these items when I go to a charity shop. I have been a few times now but haven't actually found these items yet. I tend to pop into a charity shop when I'm already in town for another reason (last time my daughter wanted to go shopping with her pocket money) rather than make a special trip. I'm not sure if I will find the boots or not, I have started to look at some ethical businesses to buy them new instead especially as the autumn weather is currently setting in. In a way this type of shopping takes less time. I no longer see a Saturday spent on the High Street as a hobby as I once did. I enjoy the clothes shopping I do but it's born from a need for clothing rather than a need to find something to do at the weekend!

I have spent about £50 on second-hand clothing and shoes so far this year. So, adding this to the £190 I spent on new clothes means I've spent about £240 on my clothing in total or £26.67 a month. The UK average for a woman (men actually spend more!) is £74 a month so an eco-friendly way of shopping is definitely affordable for many.

Repair

If you're anything like us, holes appear in clothing almost daily! I've always repaired clothes to save money but now realise I'm protecting the planet too!

So, I have a large (and annoying) mending pile, that I try to tackle regularly (normally whilst watching the telly). This keeps clothes in use, I can easily think of at least 15 items of clothing that are still being worn because they were repaired.

Repurpose

If clothing is beyond repair, I try to make it into something else. We have shorts that used to be jeans, skirts that used to be dresses and even hair bands that used to be tights!

Even if sewing isn't your thing it's easy to turn clothes into hankies, I just use pinking shears to stop them from fraying and a worn out piece of clothing becomes a no-sew hankie. I also make dish cloths, cleaning cloths and even reusable make-up removal cloths from old clothes.

Recycle

Occasionally some clothing is beyond repair or I'm unable to repurpose it, so that's when it gets recycled. I'm fortunate that my council, East Devon, collects clothes (and shoes) in the weekly kerbside collection. This will vary from council to council so it's important to check with yours.

Recycling is last on my list as it's the last thing to do, I'd even go as far as saying the last resort. Recycling is better than throwing clothes in the bin but recycling still uses a lot of resources and energy it is not a quick fix to counter-balance consumerism. Curbing consumerism and, quite frankly, living a simpler life is the way to lower our impact on the planet.

This is what I do and by doing this clothing, generally, stays out of my bin and my impact on the planet is low. What do you think? What's your view on sustainable clothing? Let me know in the comments.

Thank you so much to my patrons who support my writing and are helping to grow my blog. If you have enjoyed this and would like to come on board as a patron, for as little as $1 a month (payable in any currency), you can join my Patreon community where I have some exclusive patron-only posts and a range of other rewards.

Can a Family Holiday in Italy be Eco-Friendly?

Sat, 25 Aug 2018 10:14:48 GMT

I lay awake in bed, the air-conditioning whirring and my head bounding. We'd been close to missing our flight (not allowing sufficient time to get through the clogged-up, summer, motorway traffic), arriving in the dark and quickly trying to settle the family in, the stress of the day and the Italian heat finally hit me! Along with another thought going round and round in my brain, would I have to give my eco-principles a holiday too? Is it okay to try and live a low-waste life-style for 51 weeks of the year with 1 week off?

We'd already had plastic straws at McDonalds enroute. Stopping to ensure the children had something that resembled a main meal during the day (which also added to our lateness!) we swapped our usual reusable metal straws for the disposable plastic ones (in all honesty I didn't want straws coated in milkshake travelling with us from Devon). I consoled myself that, at least according to the picture on the bin, McDonalds do recycle them. Arriving at the airport, we quickly tipped out the tap water I'd been carrying to then buy bottled water once through security (no time to search for a way of refilling my bottle). On the flight I shared a can of drink with my daughter and were given a single-use plastic cup which I decided not to refuse as I really needed that cooling ice it contained. Then there is, of course the main bad guy, the flight! This was just day one and I was in a new place without my local knowledge to rely on so I didn't know what options were available to have a low-waste holiday.

However, things picked up! My headache finally went away (it took a couple of days, it's frustrating how a holiday can cause you to feel ill!) and we settled in to the rhythm of our holiday. We were staying in a Eurocamp caravan at Ca Savio Camping and the supermarket was fantastic! Having been dropped off by taxi with no car for the week we would be able to get everything we needed from the campsite supermarket by simply strolling there before lunch and dinner. Plenty of loose fruit and vegetables meant no packaging was needed. Although everyone else was popping their produce into a plastic bag I did what I do in England and simply placed it unpackaged into my shopping basket. I half-expected to be told I needed a bag once at the tills, but this didn't happen so a weeks worth of plastic free produce was available to us (tomatoes, apples, peaches, cucumbers, oranges, lettuces etc). With most of this Italian grown, the food miles were low and the food was seasonal. We also bought all our bread without plastic using the supermarket bakery in which rolls and baguettes were all sold in paper bags. Right next to this there were cakes, biscuits and croissants also sold in paper. The next counter was take-away pizza sold in cardboard and then chips, breaded mozzarella and lasagne were sold in foil trays and then placed in a paper bag. However, the best was yet to come: wine on tap! For 1 Euro a glass bottle could be bought and then filled with wine of our choice. Once enjoyed, the bottle was washed and refilled. I don't know if this is a standard Italian supermarket, having not stepped into one for around 11 years before this, but British supermarkets take note, I want to see all this here!

The campsite also had excellent recycling facilities. We could recycle plastic, cans, glass, cardboard, paper and even food waste. Some of this was collected in miniature-sized electric dustbin lorries and the accomodation was cleaned by staff zipping around on electric bikes especially adapted with all the cleaning products etc attached to the back.

The six days we spent on the campsite were car-free with us enjoying all that was on offer in terms of pools, shopping and entertainment on the campsite and the beach accessed directly from it. A very short walk away was the town with bars, restaurants and a regular market. We also had a day in Venice travelling by bus and then by boat across the lagoon.

The eco-credentials described in the last 3 paragraphs filled my cup (reusable, of course!) but a bit of pre-holiday prep also helped! Firstly, I bought no new clothes for the holiday. I was feeling smug about my lack of consumerism until it came to packing where I looked at the clothes laid out and felt deflated. Although I don't read magazines filled with fashion advice for the perfect holiday wardrobe, articles I've read in the past seemed engrained in my mind and in the disappointment on what I could see in my suitcase! It's been so hot in England this summer and I knew that really I didn't have enough clothes that would keep me cool (never mind looking cool!). This was still playing on my mind the morning we travelled so my sewing scissors came out and I cut my shorts (already adapted from a pair of jeans) shorter in an attempt to keep my cool and zipped up my bag ready to set off. The reality was: I spent some days mostly in swim wear so didn't need many clothes, I hand-washed out a couple of dresses and finally and most importantly I really didn't care what I looked like once on holiday. My normal (slightly vain but getting less so) concern with how I look vanished and I spent my time enjoying my holiday and not looking in a mirror!

Alongside my cabin bag of clothes we took a shared bag to go in the hold. In which, amongst other things, included:
- A couple of reusable shopping bags, which doubled as beach bags. We were also given a cotton shopping bag on arrival at the campsite.
- Hankies
- Cloth napkins
- Metal straws (we used these to make our drinks more appealing as we sat on our deck, we weren't given plastic straws the couple of times we went out for a meal, though I saw plenty being used elsewhere).
- Bees wax wrap
- Reusable drinks bottles for all the family (other than the airport we used these when out and about, refilling them with delicious cool water in
the fountains in Venice).
- A small cool bag to help keep the drinks cold.
- Washing-up liquid (our normal eco-brand, enough for the holiday and we brought the bottle home to be refilled).
- Paper-wrapped loo roll (I hoped I had packed enough but had to buy some more from the supermarket).
- A couple of paper bags and home-compostable packaging (made from potato starch) from a magazine (my plan was to use this for dustbin rubbish but it was ideal for the food waste along with some other paper bags we got in the campsite supermarket).
- Sun cream (we use P20 as I know it's reliable and has some eco-credentials but I need to investigate this product further).
- A bar of soap
- All my normal toiletries (bar of shampoo, bar of conditioner, coconut oil, oats for exfoliating, foundation, homemade mascara, face powder
and deodorant)
- A few food staples including sugar, mixed herbs, museli
- A few toys for the children (a couple of dolls, dominoes, paper, a pencil case, bats and ball, a water pistol and a few calpol syringes for water
fights!)
- Books (mine and the children's were borrowed from our local library)
This meant we could mostly stick to the products we were happy with and avoid buying something, half using it and having to throw it away before returning to England.

So, to answer my question: Was this holiday eco-friendly? Of course not, I don't think flying anywhere can ever be described as being a low-impact way to travel. However, I ended the holiday (without a headache, though the queues at Venice airport were quite stress-inducing!) feeling I had lowered our impact quite significantly and been able to carry on my life-style fairly well despite being in a different place. I threw our small kitchen bin bag in the rubbish containing our non-recyclables and the small amount of beach litter I picked up (it was fairly pristine and litter-free), swigged the last drop of water from the bottle I bought in Bristol and re-filled for the return journey to Venice airport and placed it in the recycling bin outside departures. Travel is so important to feed my soul and I really haven't done enough of it to satisfy my itchy feet since having kids. My children have benefitted and learnt so much from our brief stay in Italy and I am (fairly) comfortable with the environmental impact of our holiday.

Do you have any eco-friendly travel tips? I'd love to know in the comments.

Although I have mentioned where we stayed this is NOT a sponsored post I just share what I feel is worthwhile. However, if you enjoyed reading this and want to shout me a coffee (maybe not an italian one now we're home!) I'd love you to become a Rhubarb and Runner Beans Patron.

5 Plastic Free Tips for Out and About.

Thu, 05 Jul 2018 18:21:39 GMT

Does plastic free living really cost more? These tips will significantly reduce your reliance on single-use plastic but will they reduce your bank balance?

This is what I do to avoid single-use plastic when I am out and about with my family. For each tip I have examined whether it will actually cost more money by saying if the tip is a save, the same or a splurge!

1. Always use a refillable bottle and avoid buying bottled water. Don't leave the house without it and take more than you think you need. If we are going out in the car I often put a flask of water in the boot which means we have plenty and it stays cold.

If you do run out though, ask for more. I refill our water bottles if we go to a cafe, often there's a jug of water or I ask for a glass of tap water or I ask for my bottle to be filled. There's now a network of businesses providing refill stations .

It's so straightforward filling up a bottle with tap water before leaving the house (yes, I know one of the bottles photographed is plastic but I have used it for years meaning I am able to avoid bottled water).

This tip is a save!

2. This tip is about straws. The main thing is to avoid plastic ones but in fact just don't use any if you don't need to.

It's easy to stop buying straws for your home. It can be harder when you are out buying a drink. I've found it's best to always say "No straw please" when ordering. This isn't fail safe, even companies who say they are no longer using plastic staws have actually put one in our drink when we forgot to ask for our drink without!

My kids love straws but are very happy to use metal ones. We bought some over a year ago from Earth, Food, Love a zero-waste shop in Totnes (but they can be bought online for as little as 58p). They came with a small brush and are really easy to clean. I carry them around in my bag, wrapped in a cloth napkin and secured with an elastic band.

This tip is a save if you have been buying plastic straws or costs the same if you just choose to refuse any more plastic straws in cafes and bars.

3. Avoid disposable coffee cups. If you want a take-away use your own cup. I carry my cup around in my bag (wrapped in a cloth napkin to keep it clean) so I always have it if I need a caffeine fix!

So many places offer a discount for bringing your own cup now, making this a save.

The other alternative is to slow down and drink your coffee in a cafe or make a flask to take with you.

4. Buy fruit and vegetables without plastic. Buy them loose and just put them in your shopping basket, this works for bigger items like apples or carrots. For smaller items I have a mesh bag I made from a net curtain remnant! Alternatively if you already have a plastic produce bag just keep reusing it (that's how I started avoiding these single-use plastic bags and when it wore out I made the reusable one).

Some shops are swapping to paper produce bags which is a welcome plastic free swap but your own reusable bag is better.

Supermarkets don't make it easy to buy plastic free produce but it is still possible to buy some loose fruit and vegetables. I shop a bit in Tesco and Lidl but I tend to mostly shop in independent greengrocers.

Supermarkets often charge more for unpackaged produce which is really unfair but some greengrocers I shop in are actually the same or cheaper, making this a potential splurge but shopping around can make this a save.

Personally I don't think I am spending any more on my food shop now as I refuse so much over-packaged or non-recyclable packaging. More on how I shop here .

5. Avoid plastic cutlery. I carry around a few forks, a knife and a spoon in my bag. They take up hardly any room and I wrap them in my cloth napkin along with the metal straws. So if we ever need cutlery we don't have to rely on single-use items.

Assuming you use the cutlery you already have this tip costs the same as relying on single-use plastic.

With 3 tips to save money, 1 that costs the same and 1 that could be a splurge but if you shop around can be a save; this means that following these tips will not cost you more money in fact it could be a money-saver as well as a planet-saver.

What do you think? Were these tips helpful? Let me know in the comments.

If you enjoyed this blog post and want to shout me a coffee (in my reusable cup of course!) you can become a Rhubarb and Runner Beans Patron for as little as $1 a month (it's US dollars but you can pay in any currency using PayPal).

This video lets you snoop inside my bag to see how I fit in everything I need to refuse single-use plastic when I'm out and about:
(I mention Patreon at the end of the video but just so you know I've made a few changes and put in new tiers meaning patrons actually get more rewards for their support!).

Finding my sisterhood and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Sat, 30 Jun 2018 15:48:49 GMT

Since moving to Devon 16 years ago I have made lots of amazing friends. People I trust and can rely on, friends I can discuss anything with, who I can ask for help and support in return. Friends whose interactions are entwined in my everyday life and friends that I see less often. In addition to that I have my 'old' friends that I went to school with, who know my family and were an integral part of my childhood and my teenage years. I laugh with, cry with and get through the daily drudgery with these women, I am truly blessed.

So do I really need more? I'm starting to think 'Maybe!'. None of my friends are pursuing creative outlets as the main component of their lives or identity. They are contributing in so many diverse ways; I know teachers, mothers, police officers, NHS staff, business owners, carers and more. However, I do not know any fellow writers (though I do belong to some fabulous Facebook groups). I started writing nearly 2 years ago now and it has become something very important to me for so many different reasons . I am still a mother, a teacher, a friend, a wife, a daughter and a sister but sometimes (just sometimes) I am trying to identify myself as a writer (gulp, that's even hard to write!). So when a Mother's Who Make event appeared in my Facebook news feed recently I was intrigued. When the event information said it was for all mothers and makers including writers I dared to think it was for me!

So a month ago I decided to attend the first meeting. It was the half-term holiday so my children came along with me. We stayed for the start but then left part way through; we had plans to shop and eat lunch out so that was in the forefront of my children's minds! I said goodbye and missed the rest of the meeting, with the intention of attending next time.

The day of the next meeting came round and on waking the event quickly popped into the front of my mind. I was excited but scared, I wouldn't have my children to hide behind this time! I could think of numerous reasons not to go: it's sunny I should be outside appreciating the weather instead of inside in a stuffy room (the room wasn't stuffy by the way!), I'm tired; Is it worth the money? (train fare plus donation for the running of the group; it was worth this!); Can I bear to come home later to such a messy house? I tried not to listen very carefully to these thoughts and forced myself there.

I'm glad I did. I met a range of different makers all pulled together by their joint desire to create and their association with motherhood. I'm currently reading Moon Circle in which Lucy AitkenRead writes about the power of women sitting in sacred circles she says it doesn't really matter what you say, it's the shared experience that's important. She writes "Why circle in together? We sit to be heard. To speak without being judged. To share our stories without having to make an articulate point". The meeting had some similarities with the idea of moon circles and I held Lucy's words in my mind as we sat in a circle and it was my turn to introduce myself. I quickly said I write a blog, but have also written a magazine article and was relieved to stop talking and give the woman to my left chance to speak. I tried not to beat myself up for not sounding more clever or promoting myself more. I was in a room full of mothers but failed to mention I write about parenthood!!

After the introductions were complete we split into groups of three and spent 10 minutes each talking (scary!!). Again I tried to remember this is about supporting, not a polished presentation! Wow, what amazing women I got chance to speak to. One was a singer/songwriter the other a dancer. We had many common problems and dreams. We listened but we didn't necessarily have answers. It wasn't at all scary.

We ended the meeting by passing around a talking object and reflecting on what had been said. Everyone gained different things, all equally valuable. I felt inspired, wowed and supported by women I hadn't previously met. There's something pretty incredible about this experience that I'm struggling to find words to describe. "Call yourself a writer!?" comes to the front of my mind and I try to push it gently away and instead think I am a writer!

So have I found my sisterhood? In a way I already had one to support me, my children and my family but this event provided a sisterhood based on a shared experience of creating and mothering which is something new and exciting for me. In one short morning it felt like I belonged that I was part of a very special community.

Would you be interested in meetings like this?
Mothers Who Make is an national organisation, they have a Facebook group and run events like this in various venues throughout the country.

The E xeter Mothers Who Make Hub meets on the last Thursday morning of each month at Exeter Phoenix.

I'm passionate about writing and would like to carve out more time to write blog posts, if you have liked what you have read and would be interested in shouting me a coffee or get more involved in shaping my work you might want to consider becoming a Rhubarb and Runner Beans Patron .

Plastic-free walking!

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 15:28:34 GMT

Fitting in self-care and everyday life.

I'd promised myself I'd walk in nature twice a week, proclaiming it's good for my well-being so I'd make it happen. This was when the snow was thawing and now it is summer I haven't stuck to my promise to myself (funny, eh, I normally try and do as I promise but so often promises to ourselves get swallowed up in everyday life). I'd run out of food, I am not joking when I say the kids ate bread crusts for tea last night! So I could have let the everyday take away from my well-being again until I decided to combine the two.

Setting off with my bag jingle-jangling with glass jars I walked along country lanes, past a wildlife garden and along to the river until I got to the town. I bought unpackaged soap, second-hand, never worn before, sandals and decided to stop for a quick pasty and admire the view. I chatted to a couple day-tripping from Taunton before heading to Nourish (a zero waste shop) where I filled my jars, bottles and containers and talked to the lovely owner.

This is the way to shop! Yes it takes more time (though I could have been quicker!) but it nourishes the soul as well as ensuring bread crusts are off tonight's menu! I have to admit, though, as I drink tea in the garden I have no idea what we will actually eat for dinner!
Are you getting ready for Plastic Free July?

If you're local and want to do the same walk here's the link I followed: http://www.one-mag.co.uk/walk-topsham-goat-walk/

Back in Time for Tea. What can be learnt by stepping into the past?

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Tue, 08 May 2018 12:14:41 GMT

In the recent BBC series the Ellis family swapped their modern life to recreate the past. Starting in 1918 and moving forward throughout the century they experienced what it was like for an ordinary family, in the North of England to work, eat and relax.

I asked Lesley Ellis, star of Back in time for Tea, about plastic-free living, gender roles and the changing face of childhood.

The series starts before plastic was widely used, how did you find plastic-free living?

As a family in modern day, we try to limit our use of plastic but it’s just so difficult, as you’ll know. The great thing about the early eras was that there was no plastic packaging. Meat, dripping, butter etc. was wrapped in grease-proof paper, milk in recycled glass bottles and nothing was prepackaged. Even the rabbit came in its own fur covering!

There was very little food waste throughout.

How did you feel about the rigid gender roles?

I was prepared for it and largely unsurprised. Jon and I have fairly traditional roles in present day in that I do the cooking and he does DIY and puts the bins out. The rest we share according to who has the most time. My girls, however, found it extremely difficult to cope with the fact that Harvey didn’t have to help make tea, or do any household chores.

I think the most difficult time for me was the 1960’s. The role of a wife/mother didn't change whilst everyone else moved on so I found myself stuck at home constantly whilst Jon worked and socialised outside the home. Thankfully it became socially acceptable for young women, like my girls, to go out and have fun but it did mean that I had a lot less help around the house.

When you had more packaged/convenience food did you consider that a good or bad change to life?

For me personally it was definitely not progress. We rarely eat processed food in current day because we are conscious of health and nutrition. However negatively I view it, I was able to see, for the first time, just how empowering it must have felt for women not to be spending hours in the kitchen preparing food. Considering that most working class women worked, it must have been such a relief when technology meant you could pull something out of the freezer and throw it it in the oven.

What did you notice about childhood during the different eras?

During the early eras, the girls were expected to work both in full time jobs and around the house. All their money went towards food and rent. Consequently, their childhood was cut short. Conversely, Harvey at 13 had lots of freedom to play, more so than in current day. As there was very little to occupy him around the home, he spent all summer hanging around outside, paying marbles, football, go-carting, cycling etc.

Has being part of the series changed anything about your present day life? Are there any lessons we should be learning from the past?

Lessons to learn from the past are that nostalgia is lovely but not a clear and accurate record by which to compare current day. Life has improved in almost every way, regardless of what our flawed recollection tells us.

Secondly, we learned that we have a tendency to look at the political landscape and think that it’s scary and chaotic. However, it has always felt that way.

Thirdly, we were shocked at the size of the impact of social and political policy on the working classes. It could make or break a family.

Lesley Ellis set up The Happy Body Collective , a Facebook group to provide support and accountability for people making lifestyle changes for the benefit of health. It draws from Dr Rangan Chattergee’s book, The Four Pillars. Lesley loves being in nature and believes we are all responsible for making the world better through compassion and kindness towards ourselves, each other and the planet. She loves cooking and experimenting with food to create ethically sourced healthy meals from scratch. Lesley is a newly minted campervan owner and a member of the highest, all female, badass cycling club in England.

Growing your own when you don't own a garden!

Tue, 03 Apr 2018 19:21:08 GMT

Here's a brilliant guest blog about overcoming the challenge of not having a growing plot in an innovative way.

I grew up with parents who gardened; however, it wasn't until my daughter arrived that I had any idea how important and powerful growing your own food could be. When I began weaning my daughter, my interest in cooking intensified, and researching the best way to feed my family naturally led me to the idea of growing my own food. I had small successes last summer on a shady balcony, and watching the seeds that me and my daughter planted grow into fruits and vegetables brought us both joy and satisfaction. I realise I wanted a BIG garden!

However, we live in a flat in the city of Basel, Switzerland; and we don't have enough room or (crucially) sunlight to grow food, but I felt strongly that this (rather large!) obstacle could be overcome. Thanks to the power of Facebook I have met three wonderful women who are allowing me to grow in their gardens this spring and summer - such generosity! I plan to spend my spring and summer cycling around Basel on my bike with my daughter building raised beds, watering and digging in the soil. Pretty much full time.

This is my first gardening "project" and it's ambitious! So far I have overcome some challenges. I have salvaged raised beds from scrap furniture I didn't want anymore, I've picked old fruit and vegetable crates off the street that people didn't want, I've bought unwanted pots cheaply from Basel residents, and I have transported 150 litres of organic compost with my buggy (I now know it can transport FIFTY litres of compost if I push very slowly!) and a sholley. I got all this for 15 francs, a fraction of what it would have cost me at the garden centre. I will use plastic bottles for cloches and I will line my raised beds with cardboard that would otherwise be recycled.

There have been some amazing benefits amidst the problem solving. The search for cheap, organic compost led me to a composting group who accept your vegetable scraps weekly and will give you some compost in return at the end of the year. This is something that has been on my list of things to do for a year! So now we have a compost bin which my daughter is in charge of, and I feel like we are now contributing even further to the cycle of growing.

Now that April is here, my seeds have started sprouting. So far I have planted: kale, three varieties of tomatoes, peppers, courgettes (two varieties), garlic chives, broad beans and violas. I will be planting more outside as it gets warmer.

My daughter has been in charge of watering the seedlings and with a little observation she is now very gentle and respectful of them. We have talked about the veins in leaves, (we also have a small kumquat tree) and what seedlings do and do not like to eat. She is very excited to pick strawberries when the time comes :) Every morning we examine our seedlings and talk about their growth. I want my daughter to know where her food comes from and how it comes to be. I want her to know how to grow, harvest, prepare AND dispose of food properly; the whole cycle. I want her to be a responsible consumer.

Here are the benefits I think this project will bring to me and my family.

Benefits for me:

More time outside in nature, moving my body.

I get to learn every day - I am an amateur gardener.

Eating vegetables and fruits fresh from the garden.

Preparing and cooking produce I may not be familiar with.

Learning to preserve or ferment gluts of certain vegetables (I hope!)

Connecting more with the community here as I continue to salvage materials I need.

Potential opportunities to swap fresh produce with other gardeners.

Benefits for my daughter:

More opportunities for my daughter to dig in the dirt and improve the diversity of her microbiome.

More opportunities for messy play outside - something that is a little limited in a flat.

Learning to plant, weed and water gently.

Distinguishing between different plants.

Learning how plants grow and when they are ready to pick.

Getting to pick and eat veggies straight from the plant.

Seeing a project through from start to finish.

Having responsibilities for certain plants - gives her a feeling of ownership and empowerment.

I plan to document my journey on my Facebook page - Beyond baby led Weaning . I will be documenting the ups AND the downs. I'm excited by this new project, and I encourage you to dig your hands in a little bit of soil, even if you only have space for a pot of herbs. You will be surprised by the feeling of achievement and satisfaction gardening brings. April is the perfect time for planting seedlings if you haven't already.

Do your want to grow with your kids too? Do you already? What are your plans this summer? I would love to hear from you.

Why is it okay to make assumptions online?

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Wed, 14 Mar 2018 15:09:24 GMT

Answer: It's not!

What has happened in our online world where we feel it is ok to judge, make assumptions and sometimes be down-right rude to each other? The moral code we follow in our off-line world seems to be forgotten as we quickly respond and send! It seems, to me, to be the modern version of road rage! In a car we might swear and interact aggressively with some one who cuts in front of us but if someone bumped into us in the street the most likely response would be to apologise (even if the other person bumped into us!). The security of the car around us can stop us connecting with the other road users and the same goes to interacting online. When you reply to a stranger, you see their name and their profile picture but do you see that they are a fellow human-being?

So why am I writing this? You've guessed it I have been subjected to people making and expressing certain assumptions about me. And lets be honest here, it's not nice! I'm not traumatised, it's not ruined my day however there is a little niggle there! I said to a friend yesterday, that it didn't bother me that it was "Water off a ducks back!", so why am i still thinking about it today?

Those of you who follow my work, will know I am passionate about reducing the amount of rubbish I throw away and trying to elliminate unnecessary plastic from my life. This doesn't seem like too much of a controversial idea and in the main it isn't. However, for a few people, this is a problem to them. This is completely fair enough, I am not asking you to agree with me, I am simply sharing what I do. Don't get me wrong, it's lovely when people do support me, I have had so many positive comments online. People have encouraged me and many tell me they have changed some of the things they do as a result of what I am sharing. This is amazing, I truly do want the planet to be a better place for all living things, including humans. I am not writing for this approval but when I get it, I'm not going to lie, it feels great!

Then there are those 'other' comments. I was going to say I feel lucky that I don't get them very often. But is 'lucky' the right word? I don't feel lucky that I didn't have to deal with unkind comments on the school run this morning, I would say my expectation was for, at least, civil interactions! I am also 'lucky' that comments haven't been too personal in their attack, unlike other comments I've seen online. For example, a woman was told online that she looks like an old hag (she was in her thirties, not that it is okay to say to someone older!) and she should dye her greying hair. Would you say that to someone in the queue in Tesco? So, in my 'luckiness' or most likely my lack of exposure online my looks have not been attacked but people have made assumptions and voiced them. These are some recent comments (all linked to my concern about non-recyclable or unnecessary plastic):

"If you have enough time to collect plastic for a month, you could do something constructive, collect for charity or help someone"

"Read Tesco's sustainability policy and educate yourself with facts instead of being just another plastic bandwagon jumper!!"

"So much time so little to do"

"I think you are quite misinformed about the recycling process and how it works"

"Just shows how much you clearly don't care about the environment... You are just one of the many people who are merely jumping on the bandwagon".

"You are saying you buy this for convenience."

Not the worse comments I've ever heard but complete strangers feel it's ok to assume I do nothing worthwhile in my time, I do no charity work, I don't help people, I have not educated myself with the facts, I don't care about the environment, I am jumping on a 'bandwagon' and I buy products for convenience without thinking about the impact of that purchase. I have never had a stranger say this to me face, so why say it online?

This is not a serious issue for me but it will make me think carefully about sharing posts. I already have self-edited and avoided certain FB groups or pages. This, in a way, is fair enough if you write you do need to think about the audience but should people's assumptions really silence others?

I know for most writers it is a scary business pressing 'publish' on a blog post. As a human you are sharing a piece of you, its a creative process, it might say something about you personally and you have invested time and energy into it. I started writing about 18 months ago after being a runner-up in a competition. The judges believed in me so I started to believe in myself. It's been amazing, I've loved the creative outlet, I love how it gives me clarity of thought, me-time, a chance to be in a 'flow' activity, a chance to interact, to learn from others and grow as a person, as an environmentalist (I guess that's what I am if I care about the environment) and as a parent (another topic I write about). Step by step I have grown in confidence and publicised my work more but now I feel the need to be more careful, to consider if I can handle the assumptions before I hit publish (which is what I will be doing with this piece; maybe this will end up as a personal reflection rather than a public blog post). I think this isn't uncommon, with all creative work there has been critics but it's a recent phenomenom that everone can be a critic easily using their devices and hitting send. Feel free to have an opinion about what I am saying, I welcome that, a healthy discussion can help us all grow. However, if you wouldn't come up to me in the street and say it or if it's based on your assumptions about me perhaps you should think twice before you hit the send button.

I don't feel I have to address the assumptions above. I don't have to justify myself. However, I just wanted to mention the woman with the greying hair. She isn't dyeing it because she has a life-limiting condition and she and her husband want to feel like they are growing old together. So, how about thinking before you press 'post' or, you know, it is possible to just scroll past!

Have you had any experience of being affected by people's assumptions online, I'd love to hear about it in the comments.
A little disclaimer: This is in no way directed at my lovely Rhubarb and Runner Beans followers, you are awesome, polite, supportive and inspirational. All the assumptions I have shared came from posting on other Facebook pages.

A 'Rhubarb and Runner Beans' style Mushroom Risotto!

Fri, 17 Nov 2017 11:53:45 GMT

An easy family meal with very little ending up in your bin!

I was chatting about food the other day and mentioned the delicious risotto I had made for lunch. My friend asked me for the recipe so I thought I would put it into a blog post in case anyone else would like it. I have added some tips to keep this a low waste meal with very little going into the bin. It could be created with even less packaging, if you have shops nearby that sell food in bulk or unpackaged. However, this is how I cook it, which will be possible for most busy families, and could be made from your supermarket shop.

Serves : I have specified quantities for adults or children so this could be adapted to any size family. I have classed a child as being primary school aged (because mine are!) so less will be needed for younger children and more for teenagers.

Ingredients

1 small onion (buy loose or grow your own; they are easy to grow in a small space from onion sets and store well for a year round supply!).

About 4 mushrooms per adult and 2 per child (Button mushrooms are often available loose in supermarket; my preference would be chestnut mushrooms which can often be found unpackaged in farm shops).

Rape seed oil (I prefer this to olive oil as it is grown in the UK but any vegetable oil is fine. Recycle the bottle after use).

A splash of white wine or balsamic vinegar (Wine is better, if you have a bottle open! Avoid plastic wine corks. Recycle the bottle and metal cap after use).

Risotto rice, about 75g per adult and 50g per child (The Co-op sell this in cardboard, it does have a plastic window though. Recycle the cardboard and write to the Co-op, like I have, to ask for them to get rid of the plastic. If you buy your rice in plastic film this can be recycled in most Sainsbury's supermarkets with carrier bags, check with your local store).

Vegetable stock (I save the water from cooking vegetables and freeze it in a jam jar, leaving a little space at the top so it can expand. I should take this out in advance but usually forget so add a little hot water to get it to defrost!).

Grated Cheese (I use a strong-tasting cheddar but use whatever you have in, recycle the bag at Sainsburys with carrier bags).

Mixed dried herbs (The ones bought in the supermarket will probably have a plastic seal that has to be thrown away. Take the plastic lid off the glass bottle when you have used up the herbs and recycle both).

1. Peel and finely chop the onion (ideally compost the skin or put it in your food waste bin if your council provides one). Lightly saute in a pan with a glug of oil.

2. Wash the mushrooms, slice and add to the pan of onions. Cook for a few minutes.

3. Add the wine or balsamic vinegar to the stock.

4. Fry the rice for a few minutes, stirring all the time. Add a ladle or two of stock and stir. This needs stirring regularly and topping up with a ladle of stock as it is absorbed. Some risotto recipes say to constantly stir, but who has time for that!?! I tend to potter around in the kitchen tackling the endless tidying and washing jobs a family creates whilst keeping an eye on the risotto.

5. Once all the stock has been used up and mostly absorbed it should be about ready. Check to see if the rice is cooked. If not add a ladle of water and check again once absorbed.

6. When the rice is cooked, add the cheese. I do not measure this but just add some, stir until it is melted and add more if I want it to be cheesier! Serve with a sprinkling of mixed herbs.

If you have any left over, cool quickly and store in the fridge or freeze. There has been quite a lot written about reheating rice and for a while I was worried and never reheated it. However, now as long as it is piping hot I will reheat rice. I am not an expert, but all I can say is I have never been ill doing this, you will have to make your own decision. To reheat I use a microwave, add a little water (so it doesn't dry out) and heat it covered with a plate until piping hot. I might add a little more grated cheese.

Homework - a Child's Perspective

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Sat, 11 Nov 2017 17:15:22 GMT

I'm delighted to have my first guest blog on Rhubarb and Runner Beans written by Sophie, aged 12.

Children Of All Ages Shouldn't Have Homework.

By Sophie, aged 12

Homework should be banned. Don't you think they already work hard enough as it is, without having to do homework?

Most children get up early and have to quickly get to school for six and a half hours of learning, by the end of the day they are exhausted. After an early morning start and homework to be done during the evening, this means a long tiring day and they can't always produce their best work.

Homework stops children socialising and going outside. Children are meant to be out playing with friends or spending quality time with family, instead they are upstairs in their bedrooms doing their homework, wasting their beautiful day.

Too much homework can stop children enriching their passion and future. I think it is important for them to enjoy their childhood and not to remember it always drowned in homework.

Tons of homework can also stress children out. When they have to balance home life and schoolwork, some can handle it better than others, so many children begin to stress out. When they have clubs in the evening and homework due in the next day, they worry more than ever. Surely teachers don't want young children to be pressured due to something that isn't always necessary?

I believe unnecessary homework should NOT be set and children enjoy their childhood and school days without the extra pressure of homework.

Does your child have a blog post they want to share? I'm keen that children's views are represented, valued and given the opportunity to be shared (just as adult's are). The best way to contact Rhubarb and Runner Beans is to send a message through my Facebook page .

My world is so small!

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Fri, 03 Nov 2017 20:41:18 GMT

How parenthood reduced my entire world.

This article is inspired by the train journey I am on right now. I'm 25 minutes away from Paddington Station; can I express my thoughts to you in this time?

I realised yesterday, that this will be my first weekend away without my children or husband. So the last time I did something like this was over 9 years ago! How can that be? What have I been doing? I haven't been stuck at home all this time. I've been on holidays, visited friends, been on days out, beach walks, camper van adventures etc. But my world has grown so much smaller since the birth of my daughter. I imagined I would be one of those parents, that many of you are, who carry on with adventures, baby strapped safely in a sling, off exploring the world and living life together with their children. I saw one of you today at the train station. You had your 2 year old boy with you, rucksack on your back, your son carrying a backpack with toys for the journey. My pre-parent self would have recognised you "That will be me when I am mother" I would have thought. So the realisation that that isn't me came as a shock. Not a sudden blow but a slow realisation, especially once my second child was born, that the world I could cope with was small, minute in fact, just 'popping' to the nearest city a mere 11 miles away became a massive day out revolving around feeds and nappy changes. So a day's shopping may only have equated to visiting a couple of shops. Slowly, I gave up, I stuck close by to home, venturing to a few nearby places.

Now to look at me, everything was fine. I had loads of friends (mainly new ones I met through antenatal classes or new mum groups). I was out most days, chattering, socialising and appearing happy with my life. To be fair, I did love this unexpected social whirl I was part of and I was grateful for my children but daily life was hard. "Walking through treacle" a friend described it. This was me every day for a long time, possibly years. I thought this was normal. Every parent with small children is tired. I was tired too. Nothing unusual with that. But I was tired all the time on a good day. I felt overwhelmed by the smallest of tasks, every day. I felt unable to cope. Running out of milk was stressful, having to order a birthday present online consumed my mind and felt so difficult to achieve (that makes my head slightly ache thinking of it now as the memory reawakens in me). On a bad day my head hurt (a head ache lasted two days at a time), I felt dizzy and foggy. Friends advised me to go to the doctor. That was too much to deal with, so I didn't go.

Things did get slowly better for me. I am 9 years into parenthood and life isn't how it was. This wasn't a quick shift, as my children grew and started school it didn't all just naturally get better and it wasn't linear. I would be fine for a while and then not so good. Mental health is like that, we get good mental health days and bad mental health days just as our physical health fluctuates. What changed for me was three things. I realised how I was feeling was not OK, I shouldn't be feeling like this all the time. This realisation was due to an honest conversation with a friend (thank you) who suggested I might have been suffering from symptoms of depression. She was worried about my reaction as this is still, wrongly, a taboo thing to say. I recognised in myself what she was saying and this helped me to understand my feelings. She is not a doctor, so this is not a diagnosis but it made me realise things had not been right. I can't be sure what was causing my symptoms, it was probably a complex mix which included stress, anxiety and sleep deprivation along with a depressed mood. For me, it is not exactly important what was wrong it was the realisation that things weren't right and that felt, strangely, like a relief. I now understood this wasn't normal, I didn't have to just tolerate it as a part of parenthood and that things could change. Since that conversation (about 5 years ago) I have done two other things. I have learnt what I can and cannot cope with and I try to be firm and clear with these and so protect my mental health. I notice triggers in myself, by that I mean I can identify when my mood is slipping and I able to (often) do something to stop myself feeling worse. This self-knowledge has been a slow process.

Anyway back to today, my train is now nearing London, I have butterflies in my tummy and I am worried about managing the tube and the onward train. I'm a 41 year old woman who lived in London for 7 years who, in the past, would not think twice about using the Underground. Getting off the train at Paddington, I see the woman with the two year old again. Only now she has 2 large rucksacks on her back with a doll wedged between them. "Blimey, I'm pathetic!", I thought. She turns around and she has a baby strapped to her front. Wow! She was with her partner as well as her children, but still, here I am with sweaty palms, feeling sick with tears starting to prick my eyes! "I can't do this!" I think before taking a few deep breaths and start to turn these nerves into excitement. I am getting my confidence back, I have a spark, a fire in my belly. "Hi London, Sarah's back!!"

Why I am writing this? What am I trying to say? I think I am reaching out to those of you who are struggling. If this is you at the coal-face of parenthood, I am sending you solidarity. I'm saying I know it's hard but it will get better. However, if every day leaves you overwhelmed, if the fog isn't lifting ever, get some help. Talk about it, you don't have to got through this alone. Take up every useful offer of help and ask for help, be specific, your friends do want to help you, they just might not know what to do. See a doctor. If you have a friend with kids, look out for them, find out what specific things you can do to help. If you can see they are overwhelmed, maybe even book them the doctor's appointment.

As for me, I made it through the London Underground. I made it onto my train. Today London, tomorrow the world!

Can a Family Trip to the Big Smoke be Eco-Friendly?

Sat, 28 Oct 2017 11:50:37 GMT

During October half-term we spent a few days exploring our capital. Although I used to live in London, I haven't visited much recently and my 7 year old had never been. So I was wondering, how far we could continue with our eco-friendly principles in a large, polluted city?

Eco-friendly highs

- We travelled by train from our home town of Exmouth in Devon, into London and back. Like many people, we then used the tube or our feet to travel around. This is so much better than our normal reliance on cars to get around in Devon.

- I used my reusable coffee cup and didn't use any single-use coffee cups. We used our reusable water bottles every day and didn't buy any bottled water.

- On the journey to London we brought along our own home-made lunch stored in containers or in a bees wax wrap, we also had unpackaged bananas and cookies bought in a bakery without any packaging.

- We stayed in a Premier Inn and there were the usual little containers of UHT milk. We didn't use any of them. Instead we asked for a little jug of milk which was poured out for us in the restaurant, this saved numerous bits of plastic from ending up in the bin and tasted so much better! I had never really thought of doing this before but it makes perfect sense.

- I had my normal shopping bags with us and refused single-use bags including the 'souvenir' bag from Hamleys.

- I took along my hankies and used them (but also had to use tissues as well)

- I carried our metal straws in my bag and used them instead of plastic straws (this was trickier that it should have been, see lows!).

- I took home our receipts to be recycled.

- I put drinks cans into the recycling bins in the street.

Eco-friendly lows

- Lots of things went into the hotel bin that we would have composted at home such as apple cores, banana skins and tissues. At home we usually use tea leaves and compost them but we had to use tea bags which were individually wrapped in paper. This meant we generated a lot more rubbish than we would at home.

-We ended up using a total of 7 plastic straws! We asked for drinks to be served without straws and they arrived with straws (Wagamama), we asked for glasses in a cafe and were given the glasses with straws, we were in a restaurant which states it will not give out straws unless you ask (Las Iguanas), the first drinks came without straws, the second drinks came with straws.

- There was bound to be so much more hidden wastage by eating out each day. We could not control what was bought and wasted in restaurants, cafes and hotels in the way we can at home.

- We were hungry at Exeter station last night so bought a KitKat to share, the plastic packaging went straight in the bin!

A little aside on children. I strongly believe my children have a right to choose, just like you and me. I have been criticised for this in the past but I feel being respectful to them is top of my list of priorities. So this means, they get to choose off the menu. I might prefer them to have a glass of squash served in a reusable cup but they might choose a single-use plastic bottle. When I go out with my friends, I might prefer they ask for a drink without a straw but they might choose a straw. I don't tell my friends what to choose so I don't tell my children. These highs and lows are my highs and lows (even though I have written 'we' from time to time in this post as we were out as a family). Having said that, I believe children will largely copy their adult caregivers and see this often in my children in their growing understanding and care towards the living planet.

I am actually quite pleased with how we got on and feel we have kept our environmental impact fairly low this week. It's clearly no way near perfect and we would have possibly had a lower impact on the planet by staying at home but I feel this was reasonable considering the options available to us.

How I reduced our rubbish to (almost) nothing (well about a 10th full every 3 weeks, but that's not so catchy!!).

Sun, 22 Oct 2017 15:20:13 GMT

At the start of the year, I must have been thinking about New Year Resolutions and I made a throwaway (!!) comment on my FaceBook page wondering publically how long I could go before I bought something in non-recyclable packaging. The answer came to me quite quickly, it was the next time I went shopping! This didn't deter me, I was determined to reduce the amount of rubbish my family threw away. I have always been a keen recycler making sure everything that could be recycled was recycled. However, I was still frustrated, that despite my efforts, there still seemed to be quite a lot in the bin. This is what I have done since January this year. It's not perfect, I haven't got all the answers, it won't work for everyone (especially since recycling facilities vary considerably from local council to council let alone country to country). I have found, as the year goes on, this has gone beyond pure recycling. I think like lots of things the more you do the more you see! A great reason for not spending too long cleaning the house, I find! However back to waste, the more I looked into recycling the more I saw this wasn't exactly the best solution (always). However my main focus has been keeping rubbish out of my bin but as you will see other ideas have crept in and I don't think I could write this without mentioning them as well. I have made the changes mentioned, by taking lots of small steps, changing one thing at a time. When something ran out I looked for a better alternative. Personally I couldn't have done it any other way, making lots of changes at once would be, for me, overwhelming and most probably hard to sustain. It took me about 6 months to implement what I am describing and I am still considering alternatives 10 months in.

I stopped buying non-essential items in non-recyclable packaging

I started looking at the things we were buying that I considered to be non-essentials. So for us, it was items like chocolate bars and crisps. I felt if they weren't essential we didn't need to buy them! If I had said in January that I wasn't going to buy crisps or chocolate there is absolutely no way I could have done this! I just thought for now we don't need chocolate so I wont buy any and I found this thought process kept occurring shopping trip after shopping trip. I have since found lots of recyclable options. For chocolate many supermarkets sell cardboard and paper/foil wrapped large bars of chocolate, that we can simply break pieces off to eat at home or put a few squares into a lunch box. Also Cadbury's Crème Eggs, Animal Bars, Smarties and Chocolate Oranges all actually come in recyclable packaging. I find I keep my eye out now for alternatives and they appear every now and then, for example I saw some mint chocolate, wrapped in paper, in a pound shop recently. Sweets and chocolates can sometimes be bought loose in a Pick and Mix. Unfortunately a lot of these seem to have a cup and a plastic lid and you have to fill the whole cup (I'm not sure if the cup would be widely recyclable). We have a Pick and Mix in our market in which you can choose as little or as much as you want and pop them in a paper bag; a lot of the sweets are unwrapped.

Crisps are a bit of a problem to buy in recyclable packaging. In theory, tubes of crisps like Pringles are mostly recyclable. The plastic lid, tube and metal base can all be recycled; although cutting the metal base off the tube isn't ideal but is doable. Pringles still have a non-recyclable plastic seal. Some brands sell crisps in a tube that has a cardboard base, so much easier to recycle but the one I tried still has a non-recyclable seal. I would say, however that these tubes are the best option I have found, creating the least amount of non-recyclable waste. For packed lunches a few crisps can be put into a plastic tub with a clip on lid and they stay crispy. There is also the option of making your own crisps. I have made my own using potato peelings! They are honestly delicious but need eating immediately, I haven't found a way to store them and keep them crisp yet.

Non-essential items, obviously, extend well beyond crisps and chocolate! Every time I think of buying something I consider if it's essential and whether I have something similar already. I am not saying I never buy non-essentials, I just consider this carefully which has been good for my purse as well as the planet!

I looked for alternative packaging for essential items

Items that we needed to buy but were not recyclable were the next thing I tackled. Just because it's not recyclable in one shop doesn't mean it is the same in all shops. What is an essential item will, again, vary from family to family but these are some of the things I swapped. I was buying liquid soap, the bottle was recyclable the pump went in the bin. So I swapped to bars of soap bought unpackaged or in cardboard. I could wash out and recycle yogurt pots but the lid was going in the bin, so I shopped around and found yogurt with foil lids. I have found it can be tricky to know what all the packaging is by just looking! Often there is plastic lurking inside cardboard with no details of this on the box. I have dealt with this through, sometimes, trail and error. You soon find out when you open the packaging at home! The other technique I have used is to give the box a little squeeze!! (not enough to damage it, of course). Yes, I am that crazy lady walking around the supermarket, squeezing then rejecting products! If there is plastic, you can often hear the sound of it or sometimes the product doesn't move around much. I think I am sounding more crazy the more I try and explain this! Maybe you can't teach this stuff in a blog post it comes from experience!! By changing products one at a time I have found that most of what I buy is now recyclable.

I refuse items I don't need

In March I went to a talk about Zero Waste by Bea Johnson. She wrote the book "Zero Waste Home". If you haven't read this book I could not recommend it more. She is on a very different level to me, think one jar of non-recyclable waste a year. She is truly an inspiration.
This was great timing for me as it encouraged me to refuse the things I do not need. She has a 5 R's system for dealing with waste which I have slightly adapted and added to. I do the following in this order: Refuse, reduce, reuse, repair, rot, recycle. By refusing what I do not need I do not have to deal with the waste created from it. An example of this is unwanted items coming through my door. I do not want charity bags or advertising leaflets. I donate my unwanted clothes etc. to charity shops, but I take them directly to the shop. This keeps my clothing local, it means local people will benefit, I am already taking the journey into town so there is no additional transportation and the charity shop gets a good price for my donation. To stop the plastic bags coming through my door I write a polite note asking that they are not delivered explaining we are working towards becoming a zero waste house and I appreciate their support. I also ask the same about advertising leaflets. This has drastically reduced the amount I have received. Other items I regularly refuse are straws, plastic bags, receipts and paper bags. Refusing something sounds a bit rude but I just politely say "No thank you" and from time to time explain why. I generally find people are ok with this and sometimes they are interested and want to know more. Other items I refuse are plastic packaging for fruit and vegetables. Whenever possible I buy produce loose without packaging, this in fact can be quite tricky unfortunately. In some shops it is virtually impossible to buy fruit and veg loose. I try to buy the majority of my fresh produce from local independent shops who sell items unpackaged. Some supermarkets do sell loose produce (often with plastic stickers on them, unfortunately) so I do buy from them as well but my local shops are much better. I also try to be realistic and if I need something and I am near a shop that sells it plastic wrapped but I would need to drive into town to buy it loose, I will buy it in the plastic packaging and recycle it.

I have swapped from disposable items to reusables

Again, Bea Johnson had a huge influence in me making this change. I knew I could make some swaps here and this would be a positive environmental step but I hadn't really considered how ridiculous it was to be spending my money on something and then to throw it away! Why do that if there is an alternative? So immediately, the day I heard her speak, I bought (her book, of course!) a cloth bag and a metal straw. The cloth bag I use, predominantly, for buying bread. I can use this in supermarket and independent bakeries and it has made a significant difference to the number of plastic bags I have been bringing into our home. I started reusing bread bags prior to buying the cloth bag. I just shook out the crumbs and took the bag back to be reused. If the bread had been frozen, I found the bag needed to be washed. This isn't ideal as it takes so long for a plastic bag to dry but it is doable. I still do actually reuse plastic bread bags as I still have some. This is also a way to buy loose cakes and pastries. I do still buy sliced bread in a bag as it is much cheaper, I then recycle the bag. The metal straws are great for my children as they like to use a straw so I have them in my bag ready for them to use if we have a drink out. Occasionally, I will use one if I have something like a smoothie which can be difficult to drink without a straw. I am pleased, this year, that many businesses are stopping the use of plastic straws and many will be using biodegradable alternatives. this is a really positive step in combatting plastic pollution. However, reusing is a better step using a lot less resources. The example of our metal straws can illustrate this point. They will, probably, last a lifetime. No more resources needed to make them, transport them and recycle them. I would also question how well biodegradable straws actually rot away in normal waste disposable such as landfill. Other reusable items I have switched to include hankies instead of tissues, flannels and small face cloths instead of face wipes or cotton wool and using reusable coffee cups and drink bottles.

Repairing items

For me, I don't think this is a major change. I have always repaired holes in clothing (especially since having children). I have a massive, never ending mending pile! If something was to break now, I would look into repair options more than I might have in the past.

Rot

My compost bin is also a great way to keep items out of the bin and has the added bonus, of course, of making compost for my garden. I can recycle food waste where I live, however this uses a lot of resources when I can instead walk outside, put veg peelings in my compost bin and let the worms do the rest of the work. I do still use the food recycling for cooked scraps and when the compost bin is completely full. Other items I compost include the odd tissue we get (not many of these any more), cotton buds (the ones with paper stems) and paper that has been contaminated with food (such as cupcake cases, just make sure you have a closed compost bin if you do this).

Recycle absolutely everything else that I can

I am very lucky my council provides great facilities for recycling. This has been the case for a long time but this year they also started to collect a lot more from the kerbside, saving me trips to the recycling centre. Knowing exactly what can be put in the recycling collection is really important, so reading the information leaflets, checking online and contacting my council directly has all been really useful. So, for me I can recycle plastic, glass, tins/cans, textiles, shoes, batteries, paper, cardboard, electrical items and foil by using the council facilities. In addition, to the kerbside collection I have looked to see if items not collected can be recycled. So I take plastic food bags from things like fruit, bread, frozen peas etc. to Tesco to be recycled with the carrier bags. Generally speaking, if the bag stretches it is made of the same material as carrier bags and can be recycled at supermarkets, though most will recycle cereal bags as well and these are clearly not stretchy! I would advise checking with your local supermarket (I have asked both Tesco and Sainsbury's numerous questions and found them really helpful). Also by asking we are showing supermarkets that their customers care about packaging and the living planet. Plastic film such as the non-stretchy type around products like spinach, the top of ham packets and cheese bags are all recyclable at most Sainsbury's supermarkets, it is worth checking this with your nearest one. Mine is actually in a different town but I save it all up and next time I go on a shopping trip take it with me and recycle it with carrier bags. It's worth mentioning recycling labelling at this point. It isn't always actually that useful. As I said above, a cardboard box might have a plastic bag inside, the labelling might say the box is recyclable but doesn't always tell you the bag is there! The most misleading label in my opinion is the one that says "Not Yet Recycled", this simply means less than 20% of local authorities collect it across the UK. It doesn't actually mean you can't recycle it.

By doing all this, I end up with very little going in my bin. It might seem like a lot of effort and don't get me wrong in some respects it is. However, I really think a lot of it is simply changing one habit to another. For example, before the plastic bag levy in England many people forgot or did not have reusable shopping bags. Now it costs 5p a bag many more people use reusables. It may have taken time to remember shopping bags (and I am sure the 5p cost was a massive incentive for many to switch) but this is possibly a habit you have now switched to and you maybe don't even have to give it much thought any more. This is how I feel with the habits I have changed, they are new habits now and I don't have to give them much thought.

I have probably forgotten to mention things in this blog post (and I haven't written about every single detail, this may become a different blog post if there is interest) so feel free to ask questions either in the comments or over on my Facebook page.

Sharp Knives + Children = Life Skills and Confidence

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 10:10:10 GMT

When is the right age to allow your child to use 'proper' tools? I think, maybe, I've been super cautious about this. My children are 9 and 7 and only started chopping vegetables with kitchen knives last year! They did chop mushrooms with plastic knives as toddlers; I remember them sat in their highchair with mushrooms rolling around being cut into chunks for tea (I even remember feeling relieved to be getting some help!). They then moved on to cutting veg up with table knives when they were a bit older.

I think a career in education and early years settings where everything required a written risk assessment has made me look at activities with worried eyes. However, recently the (maybe obvious) realisation has come to me that if children are not given the right tools for the job they can not complete the task properly so therefore may struggle and give up. An adult sized tool may be too big and difficult to manipulate, maybe like an adult trying to knock a nail into a piece of wood using a croquet mallet! Or it could be really frustrating for a child to use a blunt knife that you or I would struggle to cut anything with. Then there are those 'toddler safe' plastic scissors which are almost impossible to use to cut paper! If you have any of those I recommend you put them in with the play dough instead where they actually work.

For his last birthday, I bought my nephew proper child-size workshop tools (this is not an affiliated link, I just think these tools are great) which he can use to make things for himself out of wood or help around the house. One of my children loves to bake and recent presents have been biscuit cutters and a palette knife which were received enthusiastically. My other child enjoys a bit of gardening, using secateurs to cut back our overgrown garden (this is a never ending task, mostly because no one else seems to enjoy doing it!). In the photo my children are helping cut up beans. They loved it! It was great to see their sense of accomplishment and it was brilliant they were able to complete one of the jobs that needed doing. We had a glut of beans from the allotment which have now been chopped and frozen and hopefully this might encourage the children to actually eat them when they are cooked! I think it's a win, win! The children are engaged in learning skills and jobs get spread out amongst the family members. This approach could be rolled out more in schools. Often children have jobs such as taking the register to the office or sharpening pencils and generally they love this responsibility. However, maybe this could be extended to include tasks such as painting a classroom wall, maintaining the school grounds, helping to fix a broken bench etc.

What do you think?

The negative downward spiral!

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Sun, 17 Sep 2017 11:33:09 GMT

Last year I was highly commended in The Green Parent writing competition having my article, Three Key Principles to Parenting with Heart , published on the website. I was beyond excited, what a compliment, my first piece of writing to ever be published, maybe I could be a writer now! I quickly spread the news amongst my friends, getting lots of positive feedback. I basked in this and felt elated until I came down from my high and started examining what was happening at home.

In my article I had stated “I think I have finally found my parenting style!” but it no longer seemed to be working. I had publically stated, amongst other things, I wasn’t going to use rewards or punishments and I was going to role model calm behaviour. I continued with this but was finding it hard to be calm. I could outwardly project calm (just about!) but frustration was bubbling up inside. My children were angry in their interactions with me and each other and this was almost constant. Most of my conversations with them revolved around behaviour or directing them to get a particular task completed. There was no joy! The more angrily they interacted with me, the more angry I felt and the less I wanted to talk and take part in activities with them.

All along, I kept thinking about what I had said in my original article. Perhaps I had got it all wrong! What must everyone think? Was I being judged? I wrote that role-modelling the behaviour you want means that children will want to behave like the adults in their life, yet this wasn’t happening at home! Maybe children do need consequences and an angry reaction to “teach” them how to behave!

Then thankfully, I realised I was in a negative downward spiral. On Facebook a friend shared a post from Power of Positivity about 9 things to say to your kids everyday. Amongst these 9 things I was only saying one of them each day: “I love you”. My lack of happiness was stopping me saying “I like it when you…”; “You make me happy”; “I’m proud of you”; “You are special”; “I trust you”; “I believe in you”; “I know you can do this” and “I am grateful for you”. So, my children were not receiving enough from me to help them maintain their feeling of security and self worth so the negativity continued.

In the end, this challenge has strengthened my resolve to continue with my ‘Parenting Style’. I am continuing to stay away from rewards and punishments and instead talking to my children about their behaviour and how it affects others, I am trying to help them take responsibility for their own actions and to trust that they are kind and lovely but like everyone else they make mistakes. I am trying to continue to role-model calm interactions, this remains tricky as I am human too and so also make mistakes and find things difficult at times. But, I am convinced that if I get cross and shout at them that I am teaching them this is how people should communicate. I also have decided to try and throw more fun into family life to plan and take part in activities together that are enjoyable and help us feel happy and to communicate this happiness to my children “I like it when we spend time together”. I am trying to spend most of my time concentrating on the good and the joy and to give the anger and resentment the limited time it deserves. What I've also realised is that change takes time to embed and if I really believe in something it is important to stick with it but also to expect there to be challenges along the way!

Adapted from the article Nine Things to Say to Your Children Every Day published on The Green Parent Website .

Summer Learning

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Mon, 28 Aug 2017 15:10:50 GMT

Kids don’t learn in the summer holidays, do they!?!

As a primary school teacher, I have often heard conversations in the staffroom about how children have regressed during the long six week break. Is this really the case? I am not saying the same is for all children, I know I am writing from a place of privilege, we have plenty of time and resources available during the summer. I have always been convinced that learning at home is so important and, at times, maybe more important than the learning that takes place in school. I also have an interest in unschooling, feeling (fairly) convinced that children will learn because they are interested in the world around them. So, I thought I would document the learning I see during the summer holidays and during the first week there was so much! This is not, by any means, all the learning my children have done. There will be plenty of learning taking place when I am not looking and plenty of learning taking place, no matter how hard I look, that I can not see. How can I possibly understand all the learning taking place in another person’s brain? I knew they were learning all the time but I am truly amazed at the education they have had in just one week of the school holidays. In the main, this is all child-initiated. I have set up some resources if I have seen an interest develop but it has been completely down to my children what they engage in. As a little aside, it has been reassuring for me to document this for the first time as I, like many parents, feel guilty if I feel a day has been ‘wasted’. For example, I felt worn out yesterday and they spent a big chunk of time playing computer games. I am also trying to reassess my own thinking that nothing is wasteful, a rest day is beneficial and lots can be learnt with technology. So here it is, a breakdown, subject by subject (I am a teacher after all!) of what was learnt in a week playing at home:

Maths
Problem solving through completing jigsaw puzzles.
Playing monopoly included lots of addition and subtraction, number bond practice to 10 and 100 and comparison of two 4-digit numbers.
We worked out how much to pay when buying sunflowers (6 × 50p). We looked at the price of items in shops. The children counted their pocket money and found out the difference between the money they had and the cost of an item they wanted to buy.
Investigating how many pebbles can by stacked on the beach before the tower fell.
Working out what time the meringues would be cooked.
They measured mass in grams when baking.
Building with lego.
When watching ‘Inside the factory’ and ‘The Sweet Makers’ on TV large numbers and negative numbers were talked about as well as dates. They know a century is 100 years.
Spatial skills were developed when playing computer games.

Science
Playing in the mud kitchen, making mixtures (reversible and irreversible changes) and pulling apart flowers (so they could see different flower parts). Also irreversible changes were observed when baking.
Observation of plants were made because we had a sunflower growing in the garden. We have observed the flower open this week and looked at the direction the flower faces. This led to a visit to a farm to pick our own sunflowers and to look if the flowers are all facing the same way.

Art
Illustrating a diary and a book

Writing
My 7 year old wrote some eco-friendly tips and she wrote about Lego Friends.
She also played Bananagram, a spelling game.

Reading
I have seen them read the following books:
Sams Pizza by David Pelham
Rent a Bridesmaid by Jaqueline Wilson
Alone in the Dark by Holly Webb
The Longest Whale Song by Jacqueline Wilson
We have visited the library and started a reading challenge. We bought some second hand books.

Geography
We learnt where tea is grown.
We travelled around in our local environment.

Music
We listened to music in the car and on I-pods. Live music was playing when we visited the High Street.

ICT
They played a range of computer games.

Physical Skills
Computer games develop hand/eye coordination and speed up reactions.
Bouncing and catching a ball.
Hula hoop
Playing running games.
Table tennis
Playing on bikes and scooters.
Swimming

Cooking, nutrition and food
We watched ‘Eat Well for Less’ on TV which gave us recipe ideas and we learnt about maximum daily amounts of sugar and how much sugar is in specific products.
We learnt how tea bags are made.
My 9 year old made meringues.
We saw cocoa beans in a cafe.

History
We learnt a bit about the history of tea including how it used to be sold loose, by weight, and how much tea was allowed during WWII rationing. We also learnt that soldiers during the war had access to tea and how they made it.
We learnt about food in the 1910s and learnt a little about suffragettes.
We learnt about sweet making in the Georgian period.
The children learnt the meaning of the word ‘historian’ and ‘inherit’.
(This was all learnt from watching TV).

Social Skills
Taking turns playing games.
Resilience because of not always winning the games.
Negotiating what we are going to do, looking at everyone's needs.
Helping each other e.g. with tidying the house.
Having friends to stay and managing with the changes in dynamics.
Sharing our things.
Playing with children of different ages from 1 – 10 years old and interacting with a range of adults.

I am truly amazed by how much my children have learnt during the week. I am not sharing this to show off, although I am really pleased. I share because I value the contribution parents, grandparents, friends and children themselves play in education. Learning is often seen as something that happens in school, only in the presence of teachers but this is not the only way children learn. I want to raise the profile of child-led learning in the home and make parents and caregivers really value the role they play in this.
Feel free to share the ways your children learn during the school holidays.

I think I have found my parenting style!

sarah_h76@hotmail.com (Sarah Allen) — Sun, 13 Aug 2017 15:10:11 GMT

My first ever blog which was highly commended in The Green Parent writing competition 2016.

I spent a lot of time over the summer reading articles about Jean Liedoff’s book , The Continuum Concept . I first heard of the book before I was a parent and then read it once I had children hoping it would give me all the answers to my parenting questions! I have long since realised that no such book exists (for me anyway), how can you have a one-size fits all parenting manual when every family and every child are unique? At the time of reading this book it didn’t make the impact I was hoping for (I really did want an instruction manual!) but recently I have realised that a lot of my interest in attachment parenting and the reading I have done around this parenting style, have their origins in Liedoff’s work.

My holiday reading has led me to the following conclusions:
1. Children deserve respect; they are just small human-beings like you and me. It’s not that I didn’t think this before, I just think I had a tendency, at times, to treat a child in a way I would never treat an adult. By this I mean, I might laugh at a child’s comment that I found humorous which inadvertently offended the child who was very serious about what they were saying. I would speak to children in a different way than I did to adults e.g. shout “DOOR!” when they had forgotten to shut the door for the umpteenth time. Whereas, if speaking to an adult I would have said “Is it alright if you shut the door please?”. My thinking on respectful parenting has also been influenced by Lucy Aitken Read who blogs at www.lulastic.co.uk

2. Children want to be like adults. They want to please parents and teachers. I have always known this, even way before parenting when I was in the early stages of my teaching career I could see that children wanted to please (unless they had been disillusioned due to the style of education that had been imposed on them or due to a difficult home life). However, even with this knowledge I still sometimes treated my children like they were against me, like life was a battle between them and me.

3. Our present state school system and many of the mainstream parenting ideas in the UK (and many other western countries) are relatively new. If you think in terms of human evolution for most of the time we have lived in small mixed-aged communities where children have learnt by watching adults and older children, with children joining in when ready developmentally. This includes all skills needed for life including learning skills usually taught in school such as reading. If the community was literate, children would see other people reading and would want to read too ( www.schoolingtheworld.org/a-thousand-rivers ).

This has led me to finally (I hope) find a parenting style that sits well in my heart and to adopt the following principles:
1. No sanctions or rewards. This is how most adults live their lives. I don’t only get to buy a treat or go to a nice place if someone else has said my behaviour is good enough! This would mean I was in a very controlling and unhappy relationship and not the sort of equality I would expect. So, when my children behave in an unacceptable way, I ask them to stop. That’s it! It may not work immediately and they may need reminding again. There was a bit of a transition stage when I felt some behaviours escalated slightly as the children were unfamiliar with this no consequence approach. However, now I ask them to stop, I expect them to stop. We may talk about it and then we move on with our day.
In terms of rewards, I want my children to be intrinsically motivated and to do what is right because they know it’s right. If I go back to the idea that children want to be like adults then when parent’s role-model the behaviour they want from their children in their interactions and relationships, children will want to behave like the adults. This then, in turn, has the advantage of parents forming good relationships with other people. Yes, I can admit this can be difficult. Relationships can be hard and when stressed and tired it can feel like children are pushing our buttons. I have found myself shouting “STOP SHOUTING!!” I am hoping this is now mostly in my parenting past, I am striving to behave in the
way I would like my children to behave.

2. Be less child-centred. What?! Less child-centred? How can that be a good thing? I am a trained primary school teacher, have worked as a childminder and in a Children’s Centre and have always felt child-centredness to be very (in fact the most) important consideration. I still think this is the best way for children to learn and an essential part of school and home life. However, if I think about how historically we have lived in small communities where children have learnt from adults and older children. If we are too child-centred we can take away the possibility of children mimicking ‘adult work’. How can children learn from and aspire to be part of the adult world if they have no adult world to observe? By this, I mean adults doing what adults want or need to do in its varying forms: hanging out the washing, preparing a meal, following their own interests and hobbies etc. It is good for children to see this and learn from it and it is certainly good for parents. A quote that has stuck with me for some time is “The greatest tragedy of the family is the unlived lives of the parents” (Carl Jung). I have certainly been that parent who has put my children’s needs above my own (as so many parents do) as if my needs were not important. I have the feeling of losing my identity somewhere along the parenting road. I would support and follow my children’s interests but not my own, often leaving me with a dissatisfied and, at times, a resentful feeling. How refreshing to feel that meeting my needs, is not only important to me, but essential for my children’s learning and development. Right now as I write this, my daughter is entering a competition. We are sat at the same table, I stop to help her when she asks me to but I am able to continue with my own interests which is good for my well-being but also provides a role-model for my daughter showing her that adults like writing, that perseverance is important and that having a go and maybe not winning is okay too!

3. Say what I mean and expect my children to listen. I have realised I often used to tell my children things they already knew. For example, in my house on a school day we always have breakfast first and then get dressed. My children are now 8 and 6 years old. They know what needs doing on a school morning. So why have I been constantly reminding them? By doing this, I thought I was being helpful but now I feel that I was making it sound like I didn’t trust them. Now I generally say nothing (or only remind them when necessary) and mornings (which so often are a major flash point in the day for parents who have children at school) are so much better (not always perfect, of course!). When it’s time to
leave the park I give them a 5 minute warning, then we go. I no longer count down “4 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, time to go, lets go now etc” as if I didn’t believe they would leave (because I didn’t believe they would leave!). This is not a total fail-proof approach but in the main I find it successful.

So this is my evolving parenting journey. It’s not the right journey, it’s just my journey. It’s been up and down and I’m sure there are some bumpy roads left but I seem to have found a way that feels right in my heart and that sureness and confidence seems to be paying off.